When you're a caregiver for your spouse, people want to help. Usually, they try to help with encouraging words.
And sometimes they choose the wrong ones. Please understand that the sample comments listed below are presented with no intention of disrespect. They were just the wrong thing said at the wrong time.
"God is testing you." - Gee, I hope He grades on a curve!
"This must be bringing you closer together." - Yes, wiping someone's back end will do that.
"One day you'll see that this has been a blessing." - More blessing like this I don't need.
"God is on your side." - If this is God being with me, I'd hate to piss Him off.
"Just fall into Jesus' arms." - How do I do that when I've got to stand up for my mate 24/7?
"I'll bet you're glad you have insurance." - Want to see my credit card bills?
"If you prayed harder you'd have a healing." - And if I prayed harder I'd need knee replacement.
"Why don't you get rid of your pets so you can concentrate on the person who means the most?" - Sometimes the dogs are the only thing that keeps us sane.
"I know a faith healer..." - You think we haven't TRIED that?
"I know someone who can cast out demons..." - Thanks, but, uh...no. Bring that to my spouse and the demons won't be the first thing cast out.
In replying, you've got to remember that the speaker means well. It's just that they've got no filter in this situation, and they're telling you what they imagine they'd like to hear. You can't be mad at someone who's living in an echo chamber and doesn't realize it. (Well, you CAN, but it's not productive.)
Another thing you've got to keep in mind is that there's no use arguing. The comment that you can't abide comes from a place of sincerity, and if you speak in opposition, you'll just force a defence. And you may hurt the feelings of someone who really does care.
What's the best thing to say? In my experience...
"Thanks so much for caring, and I'll think about what you said."
What sort of unsuitable remarks have you heard? What kind of reply do you think is best?
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.
If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.