But first, would you like to meet Barbara? She's the featured employee in her company newsletter, and you can read about her, in her own words, here.
The word this week is JOURNEY. Kate was gracious enough to let me know a bit ahead of time (I am writing on Thursday afternoon, Nov. 3); I doubt I will be well enough to do more than post tonight, but I will try.
So here goes...
Talk about a bad trip.
My career is gone, and my body's gone spastic from pain. Most of the time I move, and talk, like I have cerebral palsy. And Barb lately let me know that the doctor told her that my pain level, on a consistent basis, is equivalent to childbirth. I have assisted at births - but I did not know this.
And the past few months have been an avalanche of bad stuff, culminating in the news that it's going to take another year - at least - to get Social Security Disability. If I do. (I'm 3-1/2 years into the process.)
The other day I heard a TV preacher (who shall remain nameless, because I think he's an idiot) ranting about how with enough faith we can handle serpents and cast out demons and heal ourselves.
Sure, it's all in the Bible. But it's taken out of context, and applied to an audience that, frankly, he's trying to prime to give him money.
It's not real to me. No way.
The real strength for my journey does not come from Scripture cherry-picked for a feel-good and Hallelujah! response. It comes from the Passion of the Christ.
My pain is a duty; the words I can leave with you, to whatever benefit they leave, are its fulfillment.
In the Garden, Jesus accepted His duty, and in that acceptance, that pivotal moment, we all found Grace.
Duty carries grace in its hands.
That's why I'll keep going. That's why I won't quit.
Though I will need frequent bathroom breaks. As I said before, incontinence sucks.
Much to my surprise, I decided to participate in a '31 Days' blogging exercise; rather than interrupt the flow of this post, I have another blog established, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Ariel Sharon) and a short commentary.
And now that October's over...I'm going to keep it going. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update...he's probably going to be moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
He's up over 200,000 signatures, but PLEASE keep the pressure on. If you haven't signed, please do! Please click o his name in the paragraph below.
If you have a moment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
As I read your posts I think of a dear friend of mine. We’ve never met but have been email pals over the waves (she is in the States and I’m in Australia) for about 14 years. We’ve become grandmothers together. And shared many an up and down along the way with each other. A few months ago her husband got sick. They thought it was something else so when they went to the Doctor they found out he had cancer. It was in his kidney, liver and there were about 20 spots in his lungs. Since then it has travelled very quickly to his bones - ALL of them - and he has numerous fractures. Nothing seems to make it slow down. They keep praying and resting and trusting. One of the things she told was that they want to be a testimony through all this - especially to their grown up children. They recently were at one of their many many appointments and a lady who was a total stranger came up to her husband and said to him that she was praying for him. They were so surprised, but God sends special angels to comfort us when we least expect it. They continue on. We pray. Lots of people pray. They are certainly a testimony to me who had had my husband go through aggressive prostate cancer 2 years ago, and according to everything we've read it is guaranteed to come back if you have a Gleason score of 9 or 10. My husband was 9. If and when our time comes and we go through all this I will remember my dear friend and her faith and her trust and we’ll battle our battle, I hope, the same way as they have in this journey they are traveling.
ReplyDeleteOh, Sharon, thank you so much for sharing this! God does send his angels...I have a few, in the form of service dogs - who are now training other dogs as their relief when they are tired. When I could still do some metalworking they would hide my tools if they thought I was getting too tired.
DeleteI'll be praying for your friend's husband, for your husband, and for you. Thank you so much for being here.
Hey Andrew ... I loved reading about your bride! Her integrity shines through the interview ... what a classy lady. Thank you for introducing your fans to your woman.
ReplyDeleteSuper.
Linda, thank you so much. I just read your comment to Barbara, and she's thrilled!
DeleteBeautiful post. I cannot understand why you have been so failed, Andrew. Childbirth pain consistently? A faithful servant of our country and no help? Words fail at this point but your journey has expanded the compassion in many hearts! Thank you for willing taking up your cross and following Jesus. Well done, dear soldier!
ReplyDeleteLove,
Tammy
Tammy, I am beginning to think that I've been failed so often...and that goes back to childhood...so that I can carry the message that bitterness is unnecessary, and that joy can still be grasped, if we choose it.
DeleteThat may be, in the end, why God put me here, and why He's keeping me here.
Love back!
Wow, Andrew. That is profound!
Delete"Bitterness is unnecessary, and joy can still be grasped, if we choose it." -Andrew Budek-Schmeisser
I'm going to quote you.
:)
Tammy, thank you! You just made my day!
Delete*Laughing* God made your day, but I'm glad I could bring some joy to it! ;)
DeleteIf He ever lets me make a day, we're going to end up with some crazy things in that day.
"Up with your chinny-chin, chin-up!" (From Charlotte's Web)
Duty carries grace in its hands. Those are words filled with truth and I love the image that it portrays. Thank you for sharing the good and the bad. Your journey is one that I love hearing about.
ReplyDeleteMary, thank you so much for this gracious comment. It means a lot to me.
DeleteAnd thank you for being here.
Andrew, thanks for introducing us to your amazing wife. I loved reading her words. and to know that we have photography in common makes me smile. :)
ReplyDeleteI never saw the passion of the Christ the way you shared it today. Makes perfect sense. I love how you described us all finding Grace.
And I cannot tell you how sorry I am that you endure the level of pain you do, consistently. Thank you, again, for sharing your perspective. You broaden my own and give me depth of understanding.
Continuing to pray, my friend.
Jeanne, I've passed on your comments to Barb. She's honoured!
DeleteThank you so much for this lovely comment; I treasure your words, and your prayers, my friend.
Andrew, grace is such a beautiful gift. I did write on it all 31 days last year. Praying for you always friend. I'm in the #8 spot this week.
ReplyDeleteTara, thank you! Just visited your lovely pot for this week. You always do such a great job!
DeleteHey Andrew, duty carries grace in its hands so true! I feel for you and the pain you suffer. Sometimes our body will suffer but our soul will forever be reminded of His faithfulness and the "passion for Christ" will keep us moving along in hope!
ReplyDeleteBonnie, you;re so right! Here's to 'moving along in hope'!
DeleteThank you so much for being here.
Oh man - pain on the level of childbirth - that is so intense :( Hope that somehow the process of Social Security Disability speeds up for you and you are able to get the support you need :(
ReplyDeleteEmma, thank you. Yeah, the pai's pretty intense...and the last two days have been off the scale. But if it's God's will, I'm cool with it. There is a plan.
DeleteWould be nice if the Social Security Administration worked faster. But I guess it's an opportunity to practice patience.
Thanks so much for visiting!
I just cannot imagine what it is you go through. Your strength at continuing each day is amazing to me. I enjoyed reading about Barbara! God Bless you!
ReplyDeletePaula, thanks...and I told Barb that you enjoyed 'meeting' her. She's delighted.
DeleteSo glad you are here. I truly value your presence and comments.
That would be great if you could get on S. S. disability. I shall pray to that end. I, like the others, enjoyed yesterday's introduction to Barbara. She's doing well and that's encouraging. She must have a lot of strength in her. I'm proud of her and I don't even know her!
ReplyDeleteWish things were better, yet thankful for the prayers that have kept you here, no doubt.
Still praying.
Norma, I read your comment to Barbara, and she blushed. Not easy to make her do that!
DeleteIt would be nice to get onto disability, but the process is developing my patience, and for that I am grateful
I so appreciate your prayers, my friend.
Andrew, I continue to pray for you. May your pain be lessened some today. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, your beautiful wife with us, and for sharing your gift of writing too. You're a blessing in my life.
ReplyDeleteJulie, your words honour me so much! Thank you for this gracious comment, and for your prayers. I truly appreciate your presence here.
DeleteAndrew, I continue to pray for you. May your pain be lessened some today. Thank you for sharing your journey with us, your beautiful wife with us, and for sharing your gift of writing too. You're a blessing in my life.
ReplyDeleteYou said this so well, Andrew! We have still been praying but I want to thank you again for allowing your strong faith to inspire. Blessings to you brother. #11 FMF
ReplyDeleteMeg, I so appreciate your prayers, and your kind and gracious words. I really appreciate your being here.
Deletehi andrew, sad to hear of the increased pain:( takes away the joie de vivre when you hurt all the time doesn't it? i can't imagine the irritation that must come from the TV preacher :( GOD doesn't promise an easy or pain free life. He does promise never to leave us or forsake us and to provide what we need in terms of resources. i continue to pray for you during this trying time.
ReplyDeleteMartha, it does take the joy, yes...if I let it. More and more I am finding that joy is a process, and it's intentional. But not easy, under the circumstances.
DeleteI completely agree that the important thing God says is that He'll stick with us, come what may.
And I so appreciate your prayers1
Andrew, I have no words... just praying for strength and grace for EVERY moment of your day. 🙏🏼
ReplyDeleteLoved this: "In the Garden, Jesus accepted His duty, and in that acceptance, that pivotal moment, we all found Grace." How amazing that His duty brought us grace! Thank you for the reminder to worship in the middle of suffering. You are a mighty man of God, my friend.
Shauna, thank you so much. Your lovely words do me great honour, and I am truly grateful for them, for your prayers, and for your kind presence here.
DeleteI LOVE this:
ReplyDeleteMy pain is a duty; the words I can leave with you, to whatever benefit they leave, are its fulfillment.
In the Garden, Jesus accepted His duty, and in that acceptance, that pivotal moment, we all found Grace.
Grace. I think so much more than we can ever understand in this life. The full magnitude of the Cross and the suffering. Newton was right. Amazing! #26 today...back in the FMF land this week...
Christy, you're absolutely right. I am learning every day exactly that, that the magnitude of God's grace goes far, far beyond our understanding.
DeleteIf illness was the price to pay for this lesson, it was worth it.
Thanks so much for being here!
My word hero Tammy said it best. You have been grievously failed. Unfortunately so many in our country are grievously failed. Vets, Indians, the unborn. O God, YOUR compassion is our only HOPE. Forgive us Father for the sins committed in the name of ... what? greed, selfishness, self-centeredness, oh God forgive us. xo
ReplyDeleteSusan, you're quite grace-ful with words as well...and thank you so much for this.
DeleteXOXOXO WaggyWaggyWaggyWOOF back!
I enjoyed reading about Barbara. She sounds like a true gem.
ReplyDelete"Duty carries grace in its hands." Today, those words give me encouragement. I am going to chew on those words. I have lived duty without receiving God's grace, and that's misery. A grace-filled heart lives duty full.
May his grace wash over you. You're in my prayers again.
Cheryl, thank you so much! I passed on your comments to Barbara...and she is a true gem.
DeleteWe so appreciate your prayers1
WOW! Andrew, this post is powerful. First, I'm keeping you in prayer for this pain and that disability benefit. It should NEVER take that long. Also, I was taken aback by your "My pain is a duty." I have never seen it that way and it resounds powerfully in my ribcage. As I approach the day of birth for my baby, this is a nugget I will hold with me because you wrote it. It's amazing how God speaks to us through each other. I'm ever grateful for you. Wrapping you up in hugs.
ReplyDeleteCarolina, thank you so much for this...I so appreciate your prayers, and I am honoured by your words.
DeleteMy prayers are with you and the baby you will soon hold...and hugs to all!
Duty carries grace in its hands
ReplyDeleteThere is no possible way to be able to deal with what you deal with, without grace. It is grace that keeps you alive. Andrew cheering you on as you continue on this journey
Kristina, it is indeed grace that keeps me here. Every day I see that more clearly. After a really horrible couple of days...like the last 48 hours...the hand of God is so very evident. This is where I'm supposed to be, and all my life has led to this focus.
DeleteI'm cool with that.
Thank you so much for being here!
Continuing to pray for you, Andrew. I can't imagine living with such a constant level of pain. I appreciate your wise words on drawing your strength for the journey from the Passion of Christ instead of feel-good Scriptures plucked out of context.
ReplyDeleteLesley, thank you! I couldn't have imagined this kind of pain either, but it' simply Grace that lets me keep going. I know enough about pain (and trauma medicine) to see that. There's no other explanation.
DeleteAnd, yeah...the central story of Christianity is the ultimate Saving Grace...literally!
No wonder you love Barbara! She sounds like an amazing woman. And you, yourself are amazing because you keep a good attitude (most of the time) and continue to touch other people's lives with your writing online. And you've helped lots of dogs, too.
ReplyDeleteJan, I apssed your words on to Barb...and she thanks you from the bottom of her heart. She is truly amazing.
DeleteI do the best with what I've got...but without The Man Upstairs it would be worth little. He transfigures what I can offer.
Thanks so much for being here!
Andrew, thank you for letting us meet Barbara. You are so fortunate to have her. Congratulations to her for the wonderful comments of her co-workers. I am so sorry about your pain, especially being at the childbearing level...UGH! At least it is temporary for us mothers. I am so encouraged by your words. That you are not going to quit, that you don't listen to naive, money-hungry preachers and that you take your journey seriously with Christ. I did not write today. Maybe before the day is through, but my journey is taking a turn for a little while and I am too stressed right now to process my own thoughts. I am reading throug others instead. Take care and know you are loved!
ReplyDeletemary, first off...you're in my prayers. I pray that the Almighty will soothe your heart, and that the stresses become easier to bear.
DeleteI'll pass on your lovely words to barbara - thank you so much! And I so appreciate what you said about my thoughts in this post. Truly, I'm grateful for your presence here.
Andrew, thank you for letting us meet Barbara. You are so fortunate to have her. Congratulations to her for the wonderful comments of her co-workers. I am so sorry about your pain, especially being at the childbearing level...UGH! At least it is temporary for us mothers. I am so encouraged by your words. That you are not going to quit, that you don't listen to naive, money-hungry preachers and that you take your journey seriously with Christ. I did not write today. Maybe before the day is through, but my journey is taking a turn for a little while and I am too stressed right now to process my own thoughts. I am reading throug others instead. Take care and know you are loved!
ReplyDelete"Duty carries Grace in its hands"...such powerful words!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Andrew, for your perseverance! And for your "journey"...still with you on it! And, I've actually published my FMF post just a short time ago! I hope to join each week.
Barbara, thank you! I so appreciate your kind thoughts and gracious words.
DeleteAnd I am looking forward to seeing you at FMF!
You are blessed with a great wife!!
ReplyDeleteMick, I will pass that on to her. Thank you so much!
DeleteAnd thanks for being here.
This line right here popped out: Duty carries grace in its hands.
ReplyDeleteSo much truth.
Lux, many, many thanks...I truly appreciate this, and your presence here.
DeleteI'm in total agreement to this entire post. Thank you Andrew. I can be found here:
Deletehttps://awifesreflections.wordpress.com/2016/11/04/a-new-journey
By the way, Andrew, I'll be checking out that other blog also. =-D
Kimberly, thank you so much! I'll be on my way to your blog shortly.
DeleteOh, Marie1 You have me with your words! "A true hallelujah, whispered through tears." So absolutely true, and so brilliant.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for adding this. I am so grateful that you stopped by!
WOW! I don't think I've ever heard anyone or say or read that pain is a duty and duty carries grace in its hands. Deep. I have to think on that some more. It is not a popular teaching amongst christian teaching in the good ol US of A today. Christ chose to fulfill his duty to reconcile man to God and that meant embracing the pain. Thank you for sharing. Blessings to you as always.
ReplyDeleteLeigh, thank you for being here and commenting!
DeleteNo, it's not a popular teaching at all, not in the West, but beyond our borders, there are a lot of folks who get it...because they have to live it. It's been my honour to walk among them, and fight for them, and learn.
"Duty carries grace in its hands." Such profound truth in these words. To learn of the level of pain you are experiencing and know that you continue to trust God, is inspiring. I am also touched that in the midst of all you are facing, you took time to read and comment on my blog. Thank you.
ReplyDeleteE, thank so so much...and it's always a pleasure and honour to read your words, to see your heart on your blog.
DeleteI so appreciate your being here.