This will be a short post...probably won't even fill the five minutes...and I'll take a break from the series about dealing with a dying spouse.
Why? Because today was truly ghastly, and I came close enough to making the transition from dying to dead..Bleeding that simply would not stop, and savage abdominal pain. (No health insurance, and the doctors have told me there's no more they can do anyway. SUch is life, but I would wish this on no one.)
And pain meds don't even touch it. Morphine, not Tylenol.
So, here goes...
When I hear the word 'dream', I think of the catchphrase, "Dream Big!"
And them my mind takes one more step...to Wilbur, of Charlotte's Web.
Wilbur, the Dream Pig.
The sweet, innocent creature who aspires only to a life lived without the shadow of the smokehouse.
All he really wants is to live...and so do I.
I want to see the sun come up tomorrow, and I'm afraid I won't.
I want to hold my wife. I want to at least talk to my dogs...even if I can't walk them.
Like Wilbur, the Dream Pig...
I want to live.
We're linked with Messy Marriage's Wedded Wednesday today.
Thank you for joining us for Five Minute Friday and sharing this vulnerable piece of your writing. It's touching and I appreciate the candor. Praying for your family.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much for the prayers. Vulnerability is hard for me, but I hope that there are those who can find comfort, and perhaps help here.Delete
Andrew, mmmm. Wilbur the dream pig. His desire to live was so encouraging throughout that story. Charlotte, and eventually others, held him up and helped him avoid the slaughter house. We will hold you up in prayer. Continually, my friend. May God strengthen you each moment of this journey.ReplyDelete
I do feel the prayers; I would not have gotten through many days - today included - without them.Delete
Brother. Dear brother. I long to be with you and hold your hand. I long to do something, anything, to alleviate your burden. I wish I could hug your wife and just rock her for awhile. In our short and online acquaintance, God has moved me to love you in the best and purest of ways.ReplyDelete
Dearest Jesus, please comfort Andrew. Please grant him relief from this pain. Remind him of Your constant presence. Hold him close as he takes another step through this dark valley.
You can be closer to some people within five minutes that you can to others in a lifetime; so it is here, Marie. Both Barbara and I feel the warmth of your prayers, and of the love you send.Delete
It makes all the difference, dear heart.
I am so sorry this is so painful for you. Thank you for sharing it, though. Your hope and your God-ward focus are beautiful to see. I'm praying, of course, for grace and mercy for you and Barbara.ReplyDelete
Once again, words fail me. So I wait, with you and your wife. Patiently, hopefully, with endurance. We wait for dawn, and God's mercies that are new every morning.
The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases;
his mercies never come to an end;
they are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness. Lam 3:22-23
The prayers are so important to me, Ruth - I take Tennyson's view that thus is the world, with gold chains, bound 'round the feet of God.Delete
But there is also Joy, and, God willing, I will write about that. Joy is a choice; I chose it.
He hears your cry, Andrew. I lift you up to Him right now ...ReplyDelete
May His comfort and consolation be yours. Big time.
Big God, Big Time. He is here, LindaDelete
I am saddened for your pain. I have felt connected to you in this short time of posting back and forth, and seek your post before others' posts. So, it was a joy to see you had posted. I realize that will not always be a reward for me.
You, sir, are "T, double E, double R, double R, double I, double F, double I, double C, C, C."
You are RADIANT.
And? I do believe you ARE Humble.
I don't think you're "some pig". But I do think you are pretty amazing.
You are walking out 2 Corinthians 4, and though you are afflicted, yet do you praise His name. Blessed are you, Andrew. And blessed be His name. For you have not tarnished it, but instead are causing it to be glorified.
Well done, faithful servant. Praying for a painless day for you.
(#54 this week)
Tammy, you do me a great, great honour, and I thank you so very much. I, too, feel a connection in Christ, and I do look for your posts.Delete
I don't mind being Some Pig; living in humility is the best way.
Thank you, my friend.
What a faithful companion you've been to many of us through your pain, Andrew. It's a gift we could never have anticipated. And are unlikely to ever give ourselves, given similar circumstances.ReplyDelete
Thank you for your strength, your courage, your love.
And your dreams--you will get your wish. I am certain of it. In bigger and better ways than any of us can imagine....
Thank you, Lisa...you guys have held up lights for me, through very dark passages. What good comes of this is very much a team effort.Delete
Ky strength is that of many arms supporting mine...my courage comes from dozens of hearts, united in love...and my love can only be mobilized through its receipt...and its reflection to the Author of all Love.
I will continue to dream.
Oh God, please have mercy on your son Andrew. Like Hezekiah, give him more years. Years to praise You and love his wife and walk his dog. We cry out for him and with him, oh God.ReplyDelete
Andrew, you won't believe this but my DREAM post is about Charlotte's Web too and I had no clue you wrote about Wilbur. Great minds, brother.
In Christ, xo (I'm #57 at Kate's.)
Great minds, Susan! Thank you so very, very much.Delete
Prayers for you Andrew.ReplyDelete
Thank you, Jules, and please, if I may ask...keep them coming. Today was a bit harder than even yesterday...and yesterday was a bear.Delete
Thank you...I've shed a lot, and not only for pain. But there is also joy here,and if I am able I will write about it.Delete
Praying for you right now, Andrew. And for your wife.ReplyDelete
Thank you Betsy. We appreciate it...and need it.Delete
My heart breaks for you Andrew... and your wife. Praying for you now. He continues to carry you and your wife through this part of the journey! Praying for you to have relief from pain and strength to carry on. You are strong and you are brave! Big hugs and love to you and your wife!ReplyDelete
Thank you for the prayers, Rachel...and the hugs. We both need them. And we so appreciate this outpouring of support. It is a brilliant sunrise on a day that was supposed to see only storms.Delete
I love Wilbur and his dream to live. I am praying that God grants you grace and relief from your pain. Blessed as always to have you at The Weekend Brew.ReplyDelete
Thanks, Mary...even before this, I loved Wilbur as well...it's a severe honour to be able to take my place beside him, hock, as it were, to hock.Delete
And it is a delight to be able to partake of The Weekend Brew.
Andrew, as you can see form these comments before mine...we are ALL praying with you and Barbara; we are all crying out to God on your behalf; we are ANN here with you and sending our cyber hugs to you both. I don't have anymore words except to repeat what I've said before...to repeat what others have said/are saying...Your words inspire each of us. You are definitely God's spokesperson, always and forever...lifting you up in prayer; lifting you up to God...ReplyDelete
barbara, thank you so much...and for the very clear elucidation of the depth and breadth of support. It is a gift, renewed every day.Delete
Because of where I live, and because of what illness has done, this is the only contact with the outside world I have, with the exception of my wife. I can't keep up a conversation in person; I'm too tired, and it hurts too much.
It would be a recipe for loneliness, but for all of the people here...my heroes...who extend hands of love, and strong shoulders of caring.
Christ rises anew, every day, in this community.
Andrew, I hate that you are suffering and in so much pain. I am praying for you, asking God for the grace to endure, but mostly I would desire that He would heal your body. Thank you for sharing such a vulnerable part of your story.ReplyDelete
Thank you so much, Barbie...I hope He heals me, too...but no matter what, He's with me, and he won't abandon me.Delete
I really appreciate the prayers - and as I write this, I do need them. I'm hurting.
Your determination to live another day is so inspiring, Andrew. Praying that God gives you many more days to see the sunrise and hold your wife. Thanks for continuing to engage with all of us when you are in such great pain, my friend!ReplyDelete