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Tuesday, December 22, 2015

Your Dying Spouse 96 - Christmas Alone

It's going to be an interesting Christmas...alone.

My wife's supervisor and friend has fallen ill, and her husband is taking her out of town for December 24 and 25, which is a very good thing.

They need someone to watch their house, and Barbara is the person they trust most.

It's necessary. Barb's supervisor is also a friend.

So I'll be alone for most of Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. Cool. I'll invite one of the local motorcycle clubs...say, the Banditos...over and we can...

Oh, wait. I'm saving that for Easter. I'll keep the beer cold, guys.

Seriously, this is a good thing. It is very possibly my last Christmas in this life, and knowing that, the occasion would have been freighted with 'memory-making', and a sort of artificial celebration.

Of which I would have been the focus. Let's get the pictures, guys, because next year...we won't be able to.

Does that sound as dreadful to you as it does to me?

It's better this way. Barb is doing something nice for someone who's become a good friend, and that's all to the good.

There is no bathos to the occasion of Christmas Day. It can be observed - individually - as it's meant to be observed...without the stupid sentimentality.

Observe it as the birthday of Jesus.

I don't see any negatives here, except -perhaps - missing the "Last Christmas".

Well, we didn't miss it . It was last year. And we celebrated normally.

So that normal celebration will go into the album as my final celebration of the Saviour's Birth.

Yeah. I like that.

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  1. You won't be alone on Christmas. God will be with you.

  2. I love your attitude Andrew! I see the why. If in fact this is your last Christmas, Barbara will have happy memories from last year and if not, you'll have next year to make new memories. I realize this is a stretch but you're still breathing now, so it's good to think about, I think. Besides, you won't be alone, you'll have all your "kids" and I'm guessing, a good cigar to enjoy too. Praying for you both.

    1. Absolutely, Christy, and thank you...the kids will have a dog party, and will occupy all the furniture whilst I have a cigar.

      And it's very much the right thing. Barb's supervisor - who is also a dear friend - does need the chance to get away, and I'm really delighted to be able to help!

      Thank you so much for being here. Your presence means a lot to me.

  3. But...well, you really won't be alone; but, you will be alone?! You'll have your companions; you'll have God, for sure! But...I know you are trying to be brave, Andrew. I know Barb is doing a good deed...yet, it just seems so...I don't know; so sad?! I feel for you...I understand that if you were together, you'd be "remembering when"; yet...I don't know.

    What can I say?! It just seems so, lonely?! And yet, it is true that it IS just Christmas, which is a "day" that we celebrate the birth of our Savior; and that should be celebrated all the time, not just on a "day". So, praying for you, my friend; and for Barbara; and also her supervisor and her husband as well. Blessings, Andrew!

    1. It is a good deed, Barbara, and there's no need for sadness. I've always been pretty self-contained, and have had many, many Christmases (before we married) that had to be celebrated later. Circumstances trump the calendar, but never the spirit of the day.

      And I've got a good supply of cigars, books, and some DVDs...and a bit of welding to do, if I'm up to it (not likely, but I can hope).

      It will be a good day.

  4. We are fortified by your words.
    By your tenacity.
    By your effort to tell us what this stage of life is like, and to so prepare us.

    1. Brick, thank you so much. Your kind thoughts and words give me courage and strength to go on.

      I hope you are having a wonderful Christmas!

  5. I love your freedom - that together you decide to do what you want most, to do what will bless others, and not to be slaves to 'tradition' or 'expectation'. That has certainly been one of the best lessons our family has learned when we lost mum just before Christmas - it forced us out of the norm, and we learned to give space for each of us to do Christmas in the way we needed to and wanted to. Even now we never eat turkey (too dry)... this year will be casserole, of all things. Once it's really all about the spirit of the season, there's an awful lot of flex about what that actually looks like.

    Wishing you both a very merry Christmas, in any case. You're such an inspiration, with a wonderful dose of humour sown in too. Thank you for every post.

    1. Oh, Ruth, I'm so sorry that you had to go through the loss of your Mum just before Christmas. That's so unimaginably hard.

      I think it does fit the spirit of the Day to live it in a way that makes you happy. Casserole sounds like a good plan. I'm having a little bit of rice with teriyaki sauce and cheese. Good to settle nausea, and if I can't finish it...the dogs will!

      Thank you so much for the kind words, thoughts, and prayers, Ruth. I truly appreciate your friendship, and wish you and your the merriest of Christmases!