I saw a restaurant scene in a movie today, and had a fleeting sorrow that I can't do that anymore.
And this is very wrong...the thought, not the situation.
It's a slap against the face of God. He has brought blessings aplenty in spite of the cancer (hardest week yet), and to moan about what's lost to me is like a disappointed child pouting on Christmas morning, surrounded by piles of toys, because he didn't get a pony.
Christ didn't take on and pay my debt of sin for that. He wore my shameful squalid garments to save my soul.
Not so I could go to Outback again.
They say it must be galling
(and that I should admit it true)
that I get quite depressed recalling
the things I can no longer do,
and what I can no longer be,
no longer give, not longer get,
and live earthly eternity
in the dungeon of regret.
Yes, my days are sore constrained,
and some failures can't be remedied
but with much lost much is retained,
and my Saviour didn't bleed
that I'd put His pain upon the shelf
to feel so sorry for myself.
The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is COPY.
Please don't try this stuff at home,
please don't try to copy me.
Do as Romans when in Rome,
but please, friend hear my simple plea
to not face cancer without aid,
no docs, nor 'cancer group' support.
It's the worst game to be played
when in pride you come up short
and face the things that might have been,
the chance to give, and take help given.
Remember hubris is a sin,
and not a way you should be livin',
but when the whole thing's said and done,
on my own, I did have fun.
Three minutes, and truth in the dichotomy.
Music from U2, with Stuck In A Moment
Sylvia doesn't regret, but she sure can pile on the guilt if ice cream isn't shared.
May the Lord continue to give you and Barb grace as you walk through this season, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you...He is here.
DeleteYou are so inspiring. You have been writing about your cancer journey for a long time. God has not taken you home to heaven yet; you have a purpose here on earth. Yesterday I found a lump on my chest where my breast used to be. I see my oncologist on Tuesday. She asked me when my last mammogram was. I told her I had a double mastectomy after having breast cancer for the second time. We are survivors. We are still here. God wants to use us to inspire others. Keep writing. Keep trusting in Jesus. Terri FMF#5
ReplyDeleteTerri, I'm glad you're still here. You're my hero.
DeleteChallenging to accept help, and with grace. Thank you for sharing.
ReplyDeleteTish, accepting help can be one of the hardest things!
DeleteYou have an amazing attitude, Andrew. That first sonnet was quite convicting.
ReplyDeleteGrams, what I think it all the comes down to is accepting the hardest part of the Lord's Prayer...Thy will be done.
DeleteHard for Jesus at Gethsemane, harder by far for us.
You’ve given much to all of us by being available to write, share, read our writings, and encourage in return. I see you at Father’s outrageous banquet table feasting with Him and laughing! Rejoicing. Enjoying without suffering! Way better than Outback!!
ReplyDeleteMary, thank you so much for the affirmation, and the lovely image of Heaven!
DeleteAndrew thank you for reaching out to me. It was humbling for sure. I feel remorse is certainly applicable, in my case, not regret. Thanks for the "smack" across my head! If we don't receive the help God sends, where would any of us be? God sent His only begotten Son, that whosover......" And this page still does not recognize me. Mary...
ReplyDeleteMary, your voice is distinctive. And, yes, God's help can be the death of pride.the most difficult of all to accept, because in its acceptable is the death of pride.
DeleteHi Andrew, I've been under the weather as of late (all of 2023) but God knows. He is doing the hard work of teaching and reteaching. I'm glad you're still putting stuff out there. We all need it. Take care. Norma
ReplyDeleteMy dear Norma, you are ever in my prayers.
DeleteJoanne, God is indeed here. Would not make it without Him.
ReplyDeleteI don't know ... I think it's ok to be honest about where you are, friend. God understands. Jesus was 'a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief.' His Word tells us He enjoyed a good meal. I think He completely gets where you're coming from ...
ReplyDeletepros and cons to every situation isn't there Andrew? FMF10
ReplyDelete