These are the new blossoms on the mulberry tree Barb planted last summer. It made it through winter!
I have learned this, that courage is chosing not to run away any more.
And to run to something greater than one's own heart.
I wish that I were brave enough
that I might cry out to God
to say I'm not so very tough,
that being hard is just a fraud.
I wish that my veneer would snap
(it truly might be for the best),
that I'd weeping crawl into His lap
and lean my head against His chest.
I wish that I could pour my heart,
free it from its cage of fears
and feel the awesome beauty start,
my cleansing in His flowing tears.
I pray I may be reconciled
to being man enough to be His child.
And now I'm free.
The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is BREAK. Love to take one, but I'll write this first.
I didn't think that I would break,
and I didn't, this is true.
I just decided not to fake
my heart no more, for God nor you.
The nights are getting really rough,
and now I long for every dawn.
That blush of eastern light's enough
to keep my soul keep keeping on,
but I can't do this by myself;
I thought I could, yeah, what a dunce!
I put my pride back on the shelf,
and then I realized at once
that something had happened to me;
once my own slave, I was now free.
Three minutes fifty seconds, rounded up. I can live with it, and live well.
Music from Slim Dusty, with Waltzing Matilda.
"I'm proud of you, Dad. You finally grew up." - Sylvia
I appreciate your honesty and authenticity, Andrew, "I pray I may be reconciled to being man enough to be His child." Humbling ourselves to be His child takes courage and trust. Rejoicing with you in this, "And then I realized at once that something had happened to me; once my own slave, I was now free."
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you so much for this. Humility can be a harder taskmaster than pride, but in its severity is liberation.
Delete"Being man enough to be his child." Good words today. ♥️
ReplyDeleteKaren, thank you so much!
DeleteAndrew, your honesty moves me each week. "I wish that my veneer would snap." We all have a veneer that needs some breaking down. It may look differently but oh, that we would let Him break it down. Then truly we would "be reconciled to being man [or woman] enough to be His child." Good words, Andrew, for us all.
ReplyDeleteJoanne, thank you for this; truly, only He can break the veneer behind which we hide our hurt and foolish hearts.
DeletePride, as we eventually learn, needs to stay on the shelf. Life is so much easier that way. Beautiful words again, Andrew. Vulnerable and true, "my cleansing in His flowing tears"
ReplyDeleteLife is indeed so much easier when pride is put, at last, aside.
DeleteI wish that my veneer would snap
ReplyDelete(it truly might be for the best),
that I'd weeping crawl into His lap
and lean my head against His chest.
Why is it so hard to just let go and cry? I wish I knew. I guess I do.
It’s an awful word that starts with p and ends with e and unfortunately resides in me!
You said this so well! That awful word starting with p and ending in e, indeed!
DeleteBeing mature enough to understand that we are God's little children at heart is something we all have to learn. Moved by your honesty again this week and wish I could offer more than thoughts and prayers. Blessings for you both.
ReplyDeleteKym, thanks so much...and please know that thoughts and prayers are manna.
DeleteThank you Andrew for the words I could not find, and thank you for lifting me up each time I read your poems and stories, they bring me to my knees. I know that intercession binds the enemy. And Jesus wants us free! God Bless and keep you.
ReplyDeleteMary, I'm just so honoured by your words, and by your friendship.
DeleteAgree with everyone. Always moved and encouraged by your honesty. Deirdre FMF #14
ReplyDeleteDeirdre, thank you! I was moved by your post this week, on the cycle of mourning and celebration, but still could not get the app to run on my phone to comment.
DeleteAll the things you wish for in your first sonnet are doable if you really want to. And maybe you have? -- "I put my pride back on the shelf,
ReplyDeleteand then I realized at once
that something had happened to me;
once my own slave, I was now free."
P.S. The blossoms are beautiful.
Grams, you're so right...the surrender is available to the willing!
DeleteAnd we're so glad you liked the blossoms!
Andrew, both of these sonnets have such power. The humility required to do the things you write of can feel scary, but oh, how freeing it is when we stop trying to be our own strength and lean into the One who is our strength. I'm praying for you and Barb, my friend.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, you're so right, that letting go and leaning in can be scary!
DeleteThank you so much for the prayers!
These are 2 most beautiful poems, Andrew! Really beautiful and cleverly crafted from the heart. I rejoice with you in the freedom of truth. I hope you stay in the father's lap awhile and don't take back the steering wheel. May the blessings of this greatest of festivals give you abundant hope and joy. Happy Easter. Dawn #27
ReplyDelete