You'd think that dying, going to Heaven, and coming back would make facing illness and death easier.
You'd be right.
The symptoms are not alleviated by any means; pain's really hard, and a cough will start every so often that results in, at best, dry heaves. At worst, well, don't ask.
But the thing is, I know now that there is a beyond, and it's better than I could have imagined to imagine. The memory of my death and return on March 14 is still blindingly clear and bright. Dreams fade; this has not, and the details still stand out with a definition unembellished by imagination, and undimmed by time and space.
And so the worst of cancer is really, really bad, but this will not be the end of me. We'll meet again.
When it's time to go, I'll gladly leave, but until then, I'll gladly stay.
But, you know, going and staying have lost some of their meaning. I'm there now, as well as being here. Nothing of Heaven is lost to me, and will it will never be gone.
A question...would any of you like to actually read the narrative of the experience? I wrote it fresh, after telling Barb about it, and she checked that my recounting and writing matched. Parts of it may seem almost mundane (like kite-flying, and the presence of a swimming pool), and some things may surprise you as much as they did me. It's just a straight telling of an extraordinary experience; I didn't want to sully it through interpretation.
So, please let me know in your comments, if this is something you'd like to see.
I would love to read it!! Praying for you!!
ReplyDeleteI'll find a way to share it, either here or through FB. Thank you so much for your prayers!
DeletePraying for you, Andrew! I'm so sorry you're not doing well.
ReplyDeleteAnita, thank you. It's getting rough, and I may not make FMF tonight.
DeleteI would very much like to read it.
ReplyDeleteGrams, thanks for letting me know...I'll find the right medium to share it.
DeleteI'm eagerly anticipating your story! Bless you, dear Andrew.
ReplyDeleteKaren, thank you so much...blessings back!
DeleteI love the idea of kite flying in the perfect beyond! Blessings to you in this season on the edge of eternity.
ReplyDeleteLove From Main St., the kite flying was indeed cool. And so unexpected!
DeleteThanks for the morning melody. You are joining me for breakfast pizza, candlelight, decaf chai tea and honey, and the motivation to write and experience God's presence through the FMF community! Have a great and fun Friday! Perhaps some ice cream or pizza to nibble on?! Have what makes you smile! Cheers, Jenn p.s. Write on!
ReplyDeleteJenn, thank you so much for these lovely, warming words. Yes, ice cream and pizza.
DeleteAND the new sugar-free Mango Diet Pepsi!
I loved your poem Andrew - this is the Hope we look forward to. And yes, I'd love to read your experience. Praying for you and Barb always.
ReplyDeleteWemi, thanks so much...and that hope become a certainty is the best thing of all.
DeleteThank you so much for your prayers!
Absolutely would love to see/hear more about the experience!
ReplyDeleteAlso, this is so good: "this will not be the end of me." It's hard to remember here on the earth, but it is the absolute truth!
Ellie, thank you so much...knowing this will NOT be the end, it's so wonderful. Beyond comforting.
DeleteMakes my heart sing.
continuing to pray for you, Andrew. so sorry for the trial you are in, may God continue to meet you with gentleness and grace.
ReplyDeleteMariel, thank you...it's really bad, but God is here. I'm OK.
DeleteYes Andrew, I would love to see the narrative! Every word you write is an encouragement to me. I have shared your story with several people, and I read it often. No, this is NOT the end of me. He rose so i can go!!! And I will! Prayers and intercession for you as your race continues. Love Morning has broken!!!
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorite Cat Stevens songs. Your Sunday morning is coming. But until then...write, share, care...
ReplyDeleteyes sir!
ReplyDeleteJust beautiful. And, yes, please share. A woman in my church had an out of body experience during a surgery gone wrong. She entered the other side and hugged her mother. Her mother was free of cares and looked neither young or old. Then she was brought back. So glorious.
ReplyDeletePraying for you.
Yes, yes, yes!
ReplyDeleteIn the hours after my brother died, my Mother and I were allowed to stay in the palliative care room with him. We both noticed that there was hint of a smile on his face right after he passed, but as the hours went by, the smile became more pronounced. It was a comfort to us.
Annie in Texas
Glad you are still here... Your poem suited.
ReplyDeleteYes, please!
ReplyDeleteYes, I would love to read it! Thank you for sharing this experience with us; for fulfilling the mission you mentioned. Prayers for you and Barb, and peace during this Resurrection season!
ReplyDeletePraying for you and for Barb!
ReplyDeleteYES, I want to read it!
ReplyDeleteAndrew, your words, your poem . . . are beautiful and hope-filled. I love "seeing" the peace you have now! Sending you a hug and prayers, my friend!
ReplyDeleteYes, I'd love to read about your experience! The part about Heaven not being a place where God is but that Heaven is God and we'll be taken into God ... wow, just wow! Continuing to pray for you and Barb.
ReplyDelete