Your Dying Spouse 587 - The Impossible {FMF}

And this has been a really hard week. Hate saying that maybe as much as y'all hate reading it.

I was outside two days ago, enjoying a mellow late-winter sun, when something went 'crack-thump' in my chest. It was more felt than heard (but it was heard), and brought both pain and a lot more trouble breathing. Feels like my right lung isn't working, but that's probably just my imagination. There's also another swelling on the chest wall, there. UG-ly.

A couple of more swellings in the neck make talking very hard; Barb's brought home communion from church so I can have it every day, and she has to say the Lord's Prayer. I can't get through it without losing my voice and coughing.

And life is still good, and joy far outweighs the misery.

I can't control what happens to me; I don't want to die, but this latest thing kind of disregards my opinion.

I can keep a positive attitude, looking to what I can do rather than mourning what's lost.

While tomorrow looks and feels writ in stone, it's not. I'm not talking about a miracle, here, though that would be nice.

It's more about drawing on the strength God offers to prevail, even in a small way, over that which besets me.

A small victory today can set the stage for a larger one tomorrow.

Or not.

But a small victory is still a win.

'Twas a thump within my chest

from somewhere deep inside,

to add to cancer's manifest

from which I cannot hide.

I choke with every inhalation

and every step's a trial.

Agony is life's formation

here in durance vile.

Despair, though, has not yet won,

although it does its best.

If I can greet the rising sun

I will have passed the test.

And the Son was rising, on His way to die,

on the road to Calvary; if He could, so can I.

Music by Patrick Doyle, with Memoriae Tuae from the wonderful film Sgt. Stubby - An American Hero. It's an animated and acurate telling of the story of the most decorated dog in American military history, and is a reminder of a war that should never be forgotten. I strongly recommend Sgt. Stubby for all ages. (I linked to Amazon, and as this blog is not monetized, I get no 'cut'; I just think you should buy or rent the movie. Wall-to-wall five-star reviews.)

Martis nec gladius, belli nec ignis impiger
vivim monumentum umquam memoriae tuae consumet

"Nor Mars' quick sword nor his fire shall burn
the living record of your memory."

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.