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Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Monday, February 11, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 579 - Morning Of Decision

This morning I struggled between consciousness and death, trying to find my way back to this life, the life I'm not ready to leave.

I wa caught between the here and now, and the doorway to Heaven. I couldn't tell which was which.

There's work to do here. I fought my way out of Heaven,more times than I can now count.

On coming back, I did the best I could, to be of service to Barb and the dogs.

Personal goals are no longer the Grail.

Duty is all.

Heaven can wait.

Cancer is my deadly foe,
offering no quarter.
He wants all I am and know
to add unto the slaughter.
He thinks he'll one day win
because the flesh has limits,
and he's been on as did begin,
counting down the minutes.
My body is not made of steel,
but my heart is more,
and he won't see me kneel
before him on that fatal shore.
Hearken, death, for when we're through,
me and God are burying YOU.

Music from the Alan Parsons Project, with Closer To Heaven.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. Andrew, I know Barb, the dogs and us, are thankful for your fight each day. Yet, I also know Jesus will keep taking care of all of us when you choose to rest. And I know for certain, we all SO much want you to be out of pain. So while you keep deciding, we will keep praying... and believing. Sleep well, dear man.

    1. Jane, thank you so much for this. The love and grace in your words are so comforting!

      I so appreciate your prayers, and we are praying for you.

    2. Jane, I do believe you spoke for me and many others. Praying for our dear New Mexico friends as it is midnight here in SC. Love to Andrew & Barb and prayers for all of them including the doggies. <3 Kathryn

    3. Kathryn, we all thank you so much for your prayers! Love back, from all of us.

  2. Rest until you are ready, Andrew.
    And then move on.
    Just as Corrie tenBoom's father gave her the train ticket just before she boarded, our Heavenly Father will give those you leave the strength and grace for their own journey, and He will give it just when they need it.

    Hugs from Annie in Texas

    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      Thank you so much for this.

      Interesting bit of serendipity...this morning I pointed out a new and painful tumour under my right pectoral muscle, and remarked that it looks like a firt-class ticket to Heaven.

      Hugs appreciated!

  3. You are doing more than fight the cancer. You're writing amazing blog posts and poetry and showing love to your wife and dogs. Many people in the world can never do those things even when perfectly healthy.

    1. Jan, thank you much for this affirmation...I know deeply that without the illness the love would be more measured, and the writing far shallower.

      God has granted me something for which I would never have sought to ask, and I am so grateful!

    2. Norma, my dear friend, thank you so much.

  4. Andrew, the sheer determination in your words to not to be defeated by death reveal such strength of character. Your attitude that you will not be defeated by it reminds me that, though our bodies will one day fail, our spirits will live on victoriously with the Lord. You will be the victor, the overcomer in the end, my friend, because you yielded yourself to our Heavenly Father.

    I am praying for you all.

    1. Jeanne, yes...victory is truly assured by our assurance in Christ, by His conquest of the tomb.

      Thank you so much for these lovely words, and most especially for your prayers.

  5. Dear Andrew, May you and Barbara and the four-footed wonders all rest well and deeply this evening.

    Praying for peace in your seemingly endless storm, friend ...

    1. Linda, we thank you so much. It's rough, very hard now, but God's with us, every step.

  6. I know one day I'll come to check up on you... and you won't be here. If you leave this ol' world and I haven't been around, just know Jerry and I will *see you later* when our times come. Jerry's been in and out of the hospital lately and I have barely any time to spend online right now. We still keep you guys in our prayers. You've fought much longer than anyone I've ever known in the same position. One day, you'll be resting easy in the arms of Jesus. Sending hugs to you, and Barb, and the doggies.

    1. Diana, thank you for this...and we are praying for you and Jerry.

      Hang tough. It's worth it in the end.