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Thursday, September 6, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 513 - The Road And The Reward {FMF}

What a horrible morning - chest pain (not angina, but similar in character) and gut pain, and it was just so hard to breathe...and impossible to move.

Cancer sucks.

But move I had to, because any position I assumed was intolerable after a few minutes.

Besides, I had to get to the dunny. Several times.

And I am not dismayed; when I was able to force myself to keep on my feet, I picked up the tools to create a temporal future I will likely not see.

It isn't about achievement. It isn't about accomplishment.

It's about process.

The road is the reward, and the journey is the destination.

And yes, sometimes the journey can break your heart. It did mine, on Labour Day.

Can pain be the reward? Can sorrow be the destination?

There's Someone we can ask, who took the pain for our sins and the sorrow for our salvation.

I think He'd say, "Yes."

I think He'd say, "I did it for Love."

The road we're on leads to a Place, and you can walk with a Person who will mend the most shattered heart, if you'll let Him.

RIP Yoda, the sweetest Pit who ever lived and the mirror of my heart.

I'll see you soon.


Music from Johnny Mathis, with Hands Of Time from the film Brian's Song. Might want to have tissue handy; I needed it.



Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.






56 comments:

  1. Awww, Andrew. You ask the hard questions!

    "Can pain be the reward? Can sorrow be the destination?"

    I don't want to think of those being the end results. But, you are a beautiful witness of what comes about when we don't cringe away from the pain, but use it to allow God to conform us more into the image of His Son. When we allow God to meet us in our sorrow, and even use us to minister to others when they face/find their destination is sorrow.

    I'm praying comfort for yours and Barb's hearts as you grieve your Yoda.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeanne, we thank you so much for these kind words. Sorrow isn't a bad place to be, for we are there in Good Company.

      And thank you so much for the prayers.

      Delete
  2. I KNOW he did it for love...love matters. :) It's good to have that love.

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    1. Annette, love sure does matter...and it's definitely good to have. Kinda vital, yeah?

      I mean, we'd be lost without it.

      Delete
  3. Sorry to hear about Yoda! Praying for you!

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    1. Lesley, thank you so much for the sympathy and prayers!

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  4. (((((Andrew)))))
    (((((Barbara)))))
    (((((Yoda)))))

    Love that song! Played it at my cousin Brian's service after he died of cancer as a young man.

    Love from Annie in Texas

    ReplyDelete
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    1. (((((((((((((((Annie!)))))))))))))))

      I love the song, too; it'll be played at my funeral (along with a lot of Creedence).

      Love back, from both of us!

      Delete
  5. Wow Andrew! Loved the phrase "it's about the process." So fitting for what looms as big problems today. You really helped my perspective! Praying for you and your lovely wife today. Keep writing. It's touching hearts.

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    1. Karen, I'm so glad you found something here, something helpful. makes it all worthwhile.

      So grateful for the prayers...and I'll keep going.

      Delete
  6. sorry you have lost a canine love. thank you for sharing that which is beautiful along the road of sorrow.

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    1. Jennifer, thank you for this; I sometimes think that the bright joy and the shadow of sorrow are the chiaroscuro that lets us truly see Go.

      Delete
  7. Grief is born out of love. I'm sorry for your loss but thankful for the love that came before.

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    1. Michelle, you're absolutely right; without grief there can BE no love, not until all sorrows are washed away.

      I would not have missed the love of Yoda for the world. It's worth the pain.

      Delete
  8. Oh, Andrew. I'm so sorry for the loss of Yoda. I'm pretty sure our pets will be in heaven (and they'll all get along with each other, too).

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    1. Anita, thank you...and I believe that, too, for how could it be Heaven without dogs.

      And for sure, they'll all get along. But the heelers will be keeping everyone in line.

      Delete
  9. Dogs should never, ever die. I feel that pain, my brother. My heart and prayers are with you.

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    1. Marie, I so agree with you! Thank you so much for the love and prayers. They're important, an they help.

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  10. OUR hearts are still raw over our Sam. And, to Anita's comment above me? I KNOW our pets will be in heaven.

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    1. Susan, we hold you in prayer daily, over your loss...and fur sure, they will be there!

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  11. So sorry Andrew! My heart aches with you.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I am sorry about Yoda. Thank you for allowing us to help you carry even a tiny bit of this experience with you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paula, thank you so much for being here with us.

      Delete
  13. I'm sorry for your loss and pain. Here's a cyber hug (they don't hurt.)
    (((((Andrew)))))

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    Replies
    1. Jan, the cyber-hug is treasured...and boy, is it needed.

      Delete
  14. So sorry Andrew. You are right, He would say yes. But even He said, if it be Thy will, let this cup pass from me. The answer was no, and He accepted it. No one has it as hard as He did...perhaps keeping that in front of us is the goal. Love you, my friend, your words an Spirit get me through a lot of my own trials. They are a real labor of love.

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    1. Mary, I'm honoured beyond measure that my words have helped you...that truly makes every step, however painful, mpre than worthwhile, for we are here to be reflections of Christ for one another. To succeed, even in a small way...wow.

      You made my day!

      Delete
  15. "It's about process.

    The road is the reward, and the journey is the destination."
    This clear-sighted vision comes only when the junk is pushed away. Your words ring true and clear, Andrew.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Vicki, you're so right...and I had to get rid of a LOT of junk. (Which I preferred to make high-class by calling it junque.)

      Thank you so much for being here!

      Delete
  16. So sorry for your loss in the middle of everything else. May God surround you with his comforting peace and healing grace!

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    1. Mari-Anna, thank you so much...and rest assured, God is indeed here, holding us up.

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  17. Thanks Andrew, the accomplishment I can't seem to achieve. The achievement I can't seem to accomplishment. But the process I can endure, the process I can grow in and love. The process now I am ready to hit the pavement, all for the process. Blessings Andrew.

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    1. Nancy, thank YOU for this lovely, graceful affirmation! Blessings back!

      Delete
  18. "And yes,sometimes the journey can break your heart."

    I am sorry about Yoda. I agree with Anita and Susan. I believe you will see Yoda again. I am praying for you and and Barb.

    Jolene

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    Replies
    1. Jolene, thank you so much...your words of sympathy and comfort are treasured...and yes, we do believe that Yoda is waiting, just up the road, enjoying a delicious snooze meanwhile.

      Thank you so much for the prayers.

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  19. Andrew,I'm going to try to send you a link to a beautiful song (I can be a little technically challenged sometimes so hope it works :)

    https://youtu.be/eZH_YA_S3L8

    Praying for you & Barbara,
    Kathryn ❤️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kathryn, thank you! The link orked, and the song is just wonderful.

      And we so appreciate your prayers.

      Delete
  20. The Force is strong in you young Padawan... Yoda waits patiently for you. Sorry for your temporary loss.

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  21. I'm very sorry to hear about the loss of Yoda - and for all that you are suffering. Thank you for sharing these words with us even in the middle of your pain.

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    1. Jeannie, thank you so much for your kind, loving words...you're appreciated.

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  22. I'm so sorry for the loss of Yoda. May God comfort you in your grief. Your words, Andrew, are always full of wisdom.
    "It isn't about achievement. It isn't about accomplishment. It's about process." You are right, and I hadn't even though of it that way before. And this: "The road we're on leads to a Place, and you can walk with a Person who will mend the most shattered heart, if you'll let Him." And yes, He suffered because He loves. Thank you again Andrew for your words of wisdom. Blessings and love to you and Barb.

    ReplyDelete
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    1. Gayl, thank you so much! God is here, and He is comforting. It's just a matter of letting Him in.

      And yes, He suffered because He loves. Imagine, a God whom we can make cry an bleed, with our sins...scary-awesome. I want to know Him better.

      Blessings back!

      Delete
  23. Praying for you in this time of grieving and letting go, Andrew! I'm so sorry that you have to face yet another painful situation, but I am grateful for the encouragement you continue to offer all of us.

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    1. Beth, thank you so much for this. It's all been a painful privilege...and in the worlds of Sheldon Vanauken, a severe mercy.

      Delete
  24. Hi Andrew, I'm so sorry for your loss of a beloved canine friend. It hurts so much to lose a daily companion--one you saw and loved every day.
    Blessings to you and Barb ~ Wendy Mac

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    1. WendyMac, thank you so much; this was very, very tough. Yoda was the sweetest natured creature, four-legged or two, that I have ever encountered.

      Blessings back, from all here.

      Delete
  25. I am so sorry for your loss. I sadly know that, and during your own pain, it's doubly difficult. If not more. Prayers for you and your wife.

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    1. Claire, thank you...and especially for the prayers. They're needed.

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  26. My heart cries with you on the loss of Yoda. Lifting you up. Your wife, too.

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    1. Pat, thank you so much. He's badly missed by us, and the other dogs. The stand post around his grave, protecting him.

      The prayers are so appreciated.

      Delete
  27. So sorry to hear about your puppy. Pets are special parts of our families. I love what you said, "The road is the reward, and the journey is the destination." I need to remember that, especially right now. Prayers for you and your family.

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    1. Robin, thank you. They are very special parts of families indeed, and they leave such a hole.

      I'm so glad you found something of value here, and we are so very grateful for your prayers.

      Delete
  28. Andrew, I pray for you in your pain. I lost my dear pet this year too and have my own struggles. I too am clinging to faith, but I found your statements about pain and sorrow being the reward and destination life affirming. We walk roads full of trials, but Christ walked a road of misery we thankfully never have to fully shared. All our trials are momentary, but we will spend an eternity with Him. Know I am praying for you and hope you will continue to post on the #LMMLinkup each week.

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  29. Andrew, I'm sorry you are in such a painful place. Glad you can focus your eyes on Jesus and what's to come.

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