Your Dying Spouse 116 - Evangelizing The Dying

We're all supposed to marry fellow believers, and most of us do.

But faith is not constant, and severe circumstances, of which terminal illness is only one, can erode it badly.

Or it may never really have been there at all.

Or it may have been there in another form.

Whereby in the worst of times...when the person you love most in the world is dying...you may, as a caregiver, find yourself unequally yoked.

And what do you do?

If you think your husband or wife is unsaved, or has let salvation slip...you're supposed to win them back, right?

Well...wait.

First, assess the situation.

When someone's under stress...like, in extreme pain, or very depressed...he or she can say things that they would not under even 'the new normal' say.

I've shaken my fist at the sky and told God to take his 'plans' for me and treat them unconventionally.

Do I hate God? No. Was I in a lot of pain, and completely at sea in how to deal with it? Yes.

The surrendered salvation you see may just be an emotional blip. I doubt that God takes these seriously; neither should you.

Second, listen over time.

Yes, time may be critical, and salvation may be a vital question in the short term.

You, however, are not the salvor. God is. God alone knows how much time there is, and you've got to give Him room to work.

It's hard and frustrating - and scary - to stand back. But we can't really know another's heart, not even the person we've lived with, and loved, for decades. The relationship with the Almighty is intensely personal.

Give it time, and give that time over to God.

Third, do no harm.

You may see your mate's faith morphed into something that looks New-Age-y, or Eastern, or 'spiritual'...and NOT see the 'confession with the mouth' renewed in daily life.

But there still may be faith there, like a small, glowing ember.

If you blow too hard, you can snuff it out. Comfort, even the comfort that seems false to you, is extremely important to a dying man or woman.

Yes, it may look like...and be...false doctrine. And you may be itching to jump in and save your loved one from damnation.

Don't. Let Jesus do that. C.S. Lewis, in the final book of the Narnia series, The Last battle, relates the story of a young soldier of Telmar, a state that swore enmity to Aslan, the Lion under whose rule Narnia would find eternal grace.

This soldier, a worshipper of the dreadful and evil false god Tash, nevertheless swore honour and fealty...and these good things, Aslan claimed as his own.

Give Jesus room to work.

Fourth, evangelize by example.

To rescue a drowning man, you have to make sure you are not dragged under.

This is the time to immerse yourself in Scripture, and live by it.

This means that, first and foremost, youhave to guard what you say. You can't afford a word of despair, even if you're feeling it, and even if you see things happening that make you question God's goodness.

You have to address doubt and despair in your own heart, yes, but not with a dying spouse. You've got to turn to a pastor, to a trusted brother or sister in Christ, and to The Word.

In other words, you've got to suck it up, and move forward.

You can't give someone faith, but you can water the ground in which it can grow again.

Here's the musical inspiration for this post -

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links (they're 99 cents each). And if you'd like a free PDF, please email me at tempusfugit02 (at) gmail (dot) com, and I'll gladly send them