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Friday, November 28, 2014

The Greatest Gift

Thanksgiving is over, and Black Friday has begun.

Actually, it began yesterday...Thanksgiving Day. Go figure.

I'm not going to vilify Black Friday. A lot of people really enjoy it, and for many, the hopes of a Norman Rockwell Thanksgiving dissolve in a wave of snide criticism and bitterness. The mall's an escape. Granted, it would be better to solve the problems and live in harmony, but until then...yeah, the mall can be better.

And what should you buy, for that one-and-only person who chose to marry you, who chose to spend their life with...you?

I have the secret!

Lean in. Closer. We don't want to tell the world, do we?

Oh. Right. We do.

Well, here it is.

Get your mate what he or she asks for.

Requesting a gift is something beyond buying for ourselves. First and foremost, it's an outreach for approval...."this is what I like, and is that OK with you?"

Second, requested gifts are very often an expression of individual hope, a statement that says, "this is what I want to become". Approval plays a big role here, as well..."this is what I want to become, and will you help me?"

Third, a request is an extension of trust, leaving it in your hands to find that which was requested.

All too often, we buy our spouses mirrors, gifts that reflect what we want in life, or what we would like them to be.

I spoke with a man who was utterly shocked that his wife greeted his gift with pained indifference. What did he give her? A clothes-pressing machine.

And the formal, button-down husband who got a half-dozen tie-dyed shirts also got the message..."I want you to change", which he translated to "I don't really like you the way you are".

Maybe he did need to lighten up (he did, actually). But this wasn't the way.

Give the greatest gift you can.


If you have the opportunity, please stop by at my other blog, "Starting The Day With Grace", for a grace quote - from an unexpected source - and a short commentary. It's at www.dailygracequote.wordpress.com.

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