But I'm not up to writing that. I'm sorry.
Instead, it's perhaps appropriate for the caregiver to consider this...that your dying spouse is actually running for his or her life, using mental techniques and sometimes physical ones to keep the reality of dying at bay.
It's easy to dismiss this as denial, but I think there's something deeper involved...the desire to leap over that wall of one's own death and to continue living in the world.
For the unbeliever, I suppose it's a desperate grab at immortality...but believers do this, too.
I think it' more about not wanting to say goodbye. I know that's true for me.
As the caregiver, what should you do? If you go along with this kind of thing, are you enabling a fantasy? Are you making it easier to shy away from the end-of-life decisions and stock-taking that really need to be made?
Yes and yes. And it's something you should do. (Within limits...if the 'planning for a future that ain't gonna happen' involves large expenditures of money or the making of plans that can never be implemented, yeah, don't go along with that!)
But the point is that death's going to come, regardless...and personally (and selfishly) I have no desire to go through my books and tools and portion them out to appropriate recipients.
I should do it, I know...but it's going to get me really, really depressed (kind of depressed writing about it!), and I think that might be worse for Barbara than leaving her holding the baby, so to speak.
So I'll continue, as strength permits, to build parts for an aeroplane I'll never finish, let alone fly...and I'll plan to see the next Avengers movie when it comes out...and the one after that.
So now, let's change the mood...here's Boy George and Culture Club to the rescue!
Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.