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Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

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Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 281 - God's Glory In Caregiving

We're linked with Messy Marriage's From Messes To Messages - please visit beth's site for some amazingly good marriage resources!

Caregiving can be a very hard and lonely road, and sometimes it can seem like God can be very, very far away.

Dealing with the physical mess, memory and cognition issues, and the sheer despair of watching someone you love slip further and further away toward a door through which you can't yet pass...all of those can beg the question, "Why, God? Why is this happening, and where are You?"

It's not a bad question to be asking...after all, Jesus asked God why He had been forsaken, when He was on the Cross. You're in good company.

But as there was glory in Jesus' facing that which He was compelled to face, there is glory for you, dear caregiver.

First, like Christ, you're doing what you have to do. As the husband or wife of a mate who's terminally ill, you're fulfilling the promise you made before God...the "in sickness and in health" bit.

Second, you've very likely learned to accept help. Like Jesus on the Via Dolorosa, His Cross carried by Simon the Cyrene, you have - I hope - found that there are people who will support you, carrying your cross - and sometimes you - when your strength fails.

And as Jesus took the drink offered on a spear-borne sponge from a Roman soldier, I hope you have been fed by those you least expect.

Third, even though the person you care for may be impatient and quarrelsome at times, there will be moments when you will see and hear genuine thanks.

And fourth, "when you do these things for the least of My children, you have done them for Me."

A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.

Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.


And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


  1. I love how you've tied some of these "spot on" points to what Christ did and experienced, Andrew. In a way, the caregiver must humble him or herself as much as the person being cared for. We all need a little help when the weight of the task is so heavy and unrelenting. Congrats on getting the rights to your book back too! I hope it does well as you relaunch it on Amazon, my friend!

    1. Beth, thank you so much! The further down this road I go, the more I see that Christ has left His Footprints into which we can step.

      And yes, that humility...it's hard, but necessary.

      I'm looking forward to the book relaunch; it'll be fun!

  2. I know I've said it before, but this post, like many others, reminds me what a wise man you are.

    1. Oh, Jan, thank you so much! You just made my day.

  3. So much truth in this, Andrew; and I can relate to all of it! Yes, there are those that will help in many ways; yet, they aren't here day in and day out; they don't always totally understand. But, they are here to give me the "out"; to get away for a time. And, no matter how hard I try, and don't receive the "thanks"...there ARE times that I DO receive it; and it makes it that much more worth it...I do what I do because it is what I do! How COULD I leave a spouse that is sick?! I couldn't...plain and simple!!

    Appreciate you, Andrew, and your words and thoughts...hugs and prayers!!

    1. Barbara, thank you for this. The testimony of how good the thanks feel, when they come...and seen from a caregiver's perspective...is so valuable!

      Thank you so much for the hugs and prayers. They're needed. It's been a rough week.

  4. Andrew, Even though I don't usually comment - and maybe I should, more often - I learn so much from your posts... So sorry to hear your week's been rough, but I'm so happy for your book (re)launch! How fun!! I'll pick up a Kindle copy when you're ready :-) can't wait!!
    Thanks for coming over to Coffee and Conversation and sharing with us each week - I appreciate your faithfulness...

    1. Pat, thank you so much! I have your email, so I'll be glad to send you a copy of BPH when I have the files set up again, in a Kindle-friendly format. I'm honoured that you'd like to ready it!