Back at Five Minute Friday, hosted by Kate Motaung (www.katemotaung.com).
Today's challenge is to write for five minutes on the word MEET.
My further challenge is to incorporate this into an ongoing series on dealing with a dying mate.
Well, here goes.
Usually we think of knowing ourselves, but when we start the dark road to death with our spouse, the trip for which there's a temporal 'after' for only one...there are things in our character that we'll meet as for the first time.
Some of them aren't pretty. But pridefully denying them is the devil's mirror.
Take resentment. Living with someone who's dying, someone you love, someone you'll miss terribly, will grind anyone down.
You may wish to take their burden on yourself, but you can't. You can help where possible, but mostly you watch, and your heart tears more with each day.
It's natural to resent the process, the illness, but the target is kind of amorphous.
So you resent the person.
Yes, it's illogical, unfair, an un-Christian. But this is how most people cope.
And it is a coping mechanism. It's a way, futile to be sure, to fight back against something that's hurting YOU.
And be gentle in that meeting, for you are no monster, hating the helpless. You're a victim of the illness, just as much as your mate.
Be gentle with yourself, because you're important.
Not just as a caregiver.