Dead Kids Don't Matter

It's been a month, or less, since the massacre at New Town. Back to business as usual.

The dead are being used as a political football, a talking point to advance the agenda of gun control advocates, and by conservatives to decry the lack of security in schools.

But about the victims and those who grieve for them...no one cares.

Why can I say that? Because we live in a society that systematically victimizes children. We start with a media that feeds them - deliberately - whatever it'll take to coarsen their souls, and demands that right under the banner of Freedom of Speech.

The average age foe a child to be exposed to pornography is eight. EIGHT. This is freedom of speech? This is what our best and brightest died to protect?

We make explicit sex and violence available on network TV, and prime-time commercials are rife with innuendo that would not have appeared in an R-rated movie in the 60s. We make it available, because we watch the shows, and buy the products. Corrupting kids is good business, and we get to see the shows that titillate us. We get to see the skin and the guns.

We allow schools to be underfunded, and preserve the rights of bullies and gang members to intimidate kids who may actually want to learn. We allow this, by voting for candidates who have no real understanding or interest in education. How many teachers are in Congress? And how many lawyers? I think I made my point.

We have "serial child rapists" in our communities. They're supposed to register with the police...and few do. And we tolerate the existence of "serial child rapists".

The speeches will go on for awhile, and pompous politicians will stand in front of photo-montages of terrified children being led from that place of death, trying to introduce legislation that will define their careers.

But...caring about our children?

Yeah, right.

How Not To Flirt

I don't know how to flirt effectively, but I have learned some ways in which it's NOT done.

• "Hey, you lookin' at me? Huh? You wanna take this outside or what?"
• "You have beautiful eyes. They remind me of a eyes of a Basset Hound."
• "I'll bet you're goods at judo...you've got a really low center of gravity."

I've also learned that men don't bat their eyes. This brings comments like, "Wow, that's the worst facial tic I've ever seen!"

It also can bring on unintended attention...from other men. Ooops.

I'd been told that women often appreciate fine art. So, I tried this..."Do you think that J.M.W. Turner's later paintings presaged the rise of the Impressionists, or that he was too drunk to see what he was doing?"

I guess the question would have been okay if the lady I asked had any idea who J.M.W. Turner was.

Music was supposed to be another icebreaker. But "I can hardly wait until the Mother Ship brings back Elvis" only drew a nervous giggle.

She thought I was JOKING!

Christian TV

When I actually watch anything on television, it's usually on one of the Trinity Broadcasting Network channels. Not because I'm a particularly fiery-eyed saved soul - I'm not entirely sure what 'saved' entails - but more by default.

Conventional network television drives me up the wall. The shows are either soaked with gratuitous sex and violence, or descend to a smart-alecky idiocy as they plumb previously unattainable depths of comedy. (For the most part, okay? I know there has been quality programming, I just can't think of any.)

The commercials, consumerism in action, are almost a relief.

PBS used to be a refuge, but lately they've been broadcasting really depressing stuff, narrated in a minor key. Yes, the Outer Banks of the Carolina Coast are beautiful, but when they're described in a funereal tone, they sort of lose their appeal as a potential vacation destination. PBS does have some good music, though.

Which leaves Christian TV (we don't have cable, so ESPN is merely a rumor in this house). Their version of MTV, "JCTV" is pretty good...mostly music, and not all religiously-themed. They play some nice songs and videos by artists that are broadly identified as Christian.

The preaching channels are decidedly mixed. Some of the guys and gals provide good, sound theology and interesting insights into the faith.

These are unfortunately the minority. A large group of preachers are vitally concerned with trying to decipher exactly when the Second Coming will happen...something that even Jesus isn't supposed to know. Seems a bit of a futile course of study, kind of like flat-earth map making.

Another focus is on prosperity...which boils down to, "God loves a cheerful giver, so send us money, and you'll get your 'investment' returned many fold".

It's a useful interpretation of the parable of the sower, but there's one problem...Jesus was talking about God's message, not cash.

Oh, well. At least they give us reruns of Bishop Fulton Sheen, every Saturday morning.

Sweetness

I recently came upon this music video, "Goes Without Saying", by Anchor and Braille.

I'd never heard of the group, and when I watched and listened...I was stunned. It's one of the nicest musical and visual evocations of love and fun that I've ever experienced. For me it has an almost haunting sweetness...I hope it does the same for you.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5z612-dKMGs

Young At Heart

Youth is wasted on the young.

Maybe. But youth is also something we can nurture, and keep with us, and within us. We can't stop the calendar, but we can, meaningfully, minimize its effect.

The payoff is high...if you can keep youth in your life you'll have more energy, more optimism, better health, a better marriage...the list is long.

Here's how.

• Don't talk 'old - if you have aches and pains, don't say, "I guess I'm just getting old". We are what we think, and we think what we say. If your back hurts and you want to talk about it, just say, "My back hurts". No one's really interested in the analysis anyway. Nor should you be.
• Avoid 'organ recitals' - in general, talking about your health means you don't have anything else going on...if you're thinking young, you'll have more interesting things to talk about.
• Stay physically fit - you don't have to be a fanatic, but you do have to make an effort. Even small things help. If you drop something, pick it up...immediately. Make sure you bend all the way to the floor, or work your way to that point. Park further away from the store. Take the stairs, not the elevator.
• Stay mentally fit - there's new technology coming along, seemingly every week...make a point of learning it. Don't know what a hashtag is? If you're reading this...on the Internet...you can look up a definition for hashtag. The Internet is a research tool beyond our wildest dreams, and there's no excuse for ignorance...except laziness
• Live healthy - drink in moderation, avoid smoking, and try to be aware of what you're eating. Again, you don't have to be a fanatic. Use this test...if a friend would ask you, "Should I have two Big macs for lunch?", what advice would you give? Treat yourself like your own best friend.
• Talk timeless - this may be counter intuitive, but don't try to spice up your conversation with current jargon or slang. First, it's not needed, in most cases, and second, if you're over thirty, trying to talk like an 18-year-old makes you look like you're trying too hard to fit in. Use language that anyone can understand.
• Dress right - fashions change - so change your wardrobe. It's not expensive if you shop at WalMart or target, and your old clothes can go to charity. Knowing what's in style is part of being mentally fit...and it's fun. Yes, even for men!
• Listen! - listen to current music. You'll hate some of it. You'll be indifferent to most of it. And I guarantee...you'll find some gems.

Staying young isn't about an open shirt, gold chains, and a Ferrari. It isn't about a low-cut cocktail dress and plenty of makeup, with stiletto heels. It's about your smile, the positive tone in your voice, the light in your eyes.

It's about potential, and it's about looking forward, in hope.

How To Flirt

Darned if I know.

Flirting is supposed to set the stage for romance, a series of signals of interest and availability that move a relationship forward without any overt statement of intent or purpose.

Wow. Saying it that way, I'm surprised we're not all career celibates.

Maybe flirting, at its best, is supposed to be something of a romantic joke, something that keeps us slightly off-balance and keeps the element of surprise in a relationship...

"The element of surprise". That comes from an Army field manual, the chapter on ambushes.

Flirting is the art of the possible.

Better?

It simply means that if the circumstances are right, something might grow...and if they aren't right, that that road not taken exists.

If you're single, knowing how to flirt can add texture and fun to your life, and the lives of people you meet.

If you're married, flirting with your spouse is the best way to keep romance alive in your marriage. (And flirting with anyone else is an act of disloyalty, and seriously wrong.)

But don't ask me how, because I haven't a clue!

Mirror

After the passing of two of my dogs last week, someone close to me remarked that I''d become somewhat hard-hearted; that I didn't show much emotion, and simply got on with the job of burial, and switching the 'kennel buddies' of those who had died so they would not be alone.

And got on with life.

Needless to say, a judgement of hard-heartedness was not pleasing to hear. I don't think I'm hard-hearted, either toward animals or people.

And yet...this was someone who knows me well, and has known me for many years. It wasn't a remark that could be lightly dismissed.

After giving it some thought, I arrived at a conclusion that I hope is accurate...and is not merely self-serving.

In this case, composure was mistaken for indifference. Reacting with outward grief served no purpose; it wouldn't change the events, and emotions can tend to feed on themselves, and become somewhat self-perpetuating. This had practical importance; my wife took the events badly; she needed support, as did the remaining dogs (they were very upset at the second, more unexpected, death).

Beyond this, death is simply a part of life, for dogs and humans. It's my belief that these small, gentle souls will precede us to Heaven, there to wait in welcome for us. The parting's only temporary.

And, finally, it seems to me that their memory is better honored with a smile, and gratitude for their presence - though that smile carries a certain wistfulness.

In the end, I guess I just don't know. The rationalizations may be empty, built to hide a hollow heart.

I hope not.