I'm so damned tired, and my heart is so full of love.
Cancer is winning; I can't deny that. But on the other hand, I have won, because I have been able to defeat resentment and anger.
I haven't defeated fear; I'm terrified. But that's to be expected, and that's OK. Father, why hast Thou forsaken Me? I'm in good company.
But in that dreadful question, its own answer is formed. I may feel forsaken...
...but I will not forsake Love.
And if death is the last enemy, love is the ultimate victory.
For all of you. my kind and faithful readers, I wish only the best. I know that these are hard times, and that anger flows from so many sources...but I hope that you can keep your feet, and that you can know the love of Christ, the love of Paul, the love of Maximilian Kolbe.
I love you all.
I wish for you a gentle world,
that you see peace on Earth,
with the flags of hatred furled
and storm-clouds by sun dispersed.
I wish for you a hopeful dawn
borne out in truth for every day,
and that you hear the robin's song
as you travel on your way
down the miles and through the years,
over hill and dale,
and you have no cause for tears
save those that entail
from the Love the Empty Tomb
could not contain, for lack of room.
Music from Steve Winwood, with Back In The High Life Again.
Andrew, you are winning in that you continue to cling to Jesus, you continue to love so many, you continue to pour out such encouragement. Praying for you tonight.
ReplyDeleteJoanne, your words move me so deeply on this hard, hard night. Thank you for them, for the love behind them. and for your prayers.
DeleteAt first, I was going to skip your blog. You never use the word prompt that is given. This week’s prompt is observant. One of the things I just said I was observant of, was people who are hurting.
ReplyDeleteMy friend, a close snd dear friend, a missionary’s wife just finished clinical trials for her leukemia. It was her last hope. She has come back to our state to die surrounded by her family. She and her husband posted a sign on FaceBook that said “I Choose Joy.” Wow! What an inspiration around to everybody around her.
I fought breast cancer for the second time. 2030 was a really hard year for me. My hope for you is that you wake up in the morning, shower, eat, go for a walk and take care of yourself. My prayer for you is that you will observe the beauty of winter- the pure white snow, and then the beautiful flowers of spring. I hope you can thank God every day, for another day of life that He has given you. I pray that you write, or paint, or listen to music or do that thing you love to do. Enjoy each day of your life. Invite friends over for lunch.Visit a lonely elderly person in a nursing home. Call an old friend, ask them how THEY are doing and really listen. Watch a live stream church message every Sunday. Pray. Read your Bibke. Start at Genesis and read the Bible f cover to cover.
If you have never repented of your son and trusted in Jesus virgin birth, death, burial and resurrection confess your sinfulness right now, ask Him to forgive you, believe in Hom and ask Him to be your Lord and Savior. Then you will have eternal life snd be filled with peace, health, and joy forever, in heaven. You will see the most beautiful scenery you have ever seen.
Sorry, my answer took longer than it took you to write your blog. I hope in some snail way, something I said will help you today.
❤️Terri D #10’on FMF
Hi Terri,
DeleteI, too, battled breast cancer in 2020 - diagnosed right on January 2nd; though I knew on December 31st when no one would answer me. It was a hard year for you, Andrew, me, and so many others. Cancer sucks, but we do have to enjoy something in each day; hold on to love, and gratitude, and faith. Thank you for your comment.
Terri, thank you for this, for your kind words and for the time and care you gave to replying. I'm truly grateful. And please pardon my delay in replying.
DeleteFirst and foremost, you're in my prayers with the second bout of cancer. I'm truly sorry.
Getting out now is kind of hard (as is speaking), so my life is a bit solitary (except for my wife and dogs), but it's in no way depressing from that angle. I do feel blessed, and do feel God's presence. I spend a lot of time in the Bible, and a lot with C.S. Lewis. I have repented; it was a roundabout route but I did fin Jesus waiting for me.
I write the posts ahead of time because I'm really day-to-day in ability; I will sometimes go back and 'tweak' them for congruence with the prompt; I should do that more often.
I do try to live up to the FMF 'spirit' by writing comments to others' posts in closer conformity to the prompt, and to what they have written.
Heather, thank you for commenting here...and please now you're in our prayers.
DeleteAndrew....wish I could give you a hug to let you know my care for you. But a hug would probably be uncomfortable. keep up the love.... it's a part of God working through you still. :)
ReplyDeleteAnnette, yeah, a hug would hurt...but I am sure grateful for the thought, and the love behind it.
Delete"Love is the ultimate victory..." Sometimes all we can do is try to show and be love to those around us, even when it seems our efforts to connect fall short. Standing in unison with you, Andrew, I will not forsake Love. It's the hope I cling to, the face staring gently into my eyes on my darkest days. What beautiful words of encouragement you offer us today, friend. Thank you. May God's richest blessings of comfort and presence be yours today.
ReplyDeleteSusan, thank you so much...and yes, sometimes all we can do is try to show the love.
DeleteAnd that may be all we really need do.
Death is such a part of each ones life, and how I wish I could make it peaceful and not so painful. But what do in the scope of things? My prayers swell up from the depths of me for you as I read your words. Ah, the fruit of our words!
ReplyDeleteIn my heart, where it is well fully packed, I make space for you.
Mary, you words here bring tears to my eyes. Thank you for this.
DeleteThank you for always blessing us. You are Love, and you are loved. Love is eternal. So are you.
ReplyDeleteKaren
Karen, I don't know what to say, except thank you, from the bottom of my heart.
DeleteThere are so many things about you that amaze me. Like the breadth of information on all topics you seem to possess (the videos you choose to go with your posts, the tidbits of information you share with us, such as Maximilian Kolbe today, etc.), the way you have fought your battle with cancer--and remained standing even after so very many years of tremendous pain and suffering, and most of all, how despite what you are going through you still muster up the strength to reach out and encourage us. That truly is love. Love you, "grandson." Praying that the Lord would replace your fear with His peace that surpasses understanding, and that He would surround you with His love, comfort, and presence until the time comes for you to go home to be with Jesus.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Grams
Grams, you do me such high honour with the kindness and love in your words.
DeleteI'm just so glad to be here, for it gave me the chance to meet you.
Love back!
Wow Andrew that was beautiful. Fear may fool you as it certainly has no hold on you. Your shining testimony kicks it to outer space. I pray for peace for you and your wife. God bless Loretta x
ReplyDeleteLoretta, I'm so grateful for your words, for your prayers, for your presence here. Thank you!
DeleteYes! Love is the ultimate victory!
ReplyDeleteAnita, love is indeed the ultimate victory. It took a long time and a lot of pain to realize that, but it's been worth the trip.
DeleteYour determination to keep fighting always inspires me. And it's so encouraging to remember that Jesus has won the victory and love triumphs over death!
ReplyDeleteLesley, I'm just so chuffed that you find inspiration in my words!
DeleteAnd indeed...the victory is His, and He's shared it with us.
Fight on!! Cheering you on!!!
ReplyDeleteI'll keep fighting...thank you so much for this, and for being here!
DeleteAndrew it has been a long time since I have participated in FMF. I can't tell you the joy I felt in seeing your post. Thinking of you and rejoicing in the wisdom God keeps sharing through your lens.
ReplyDeleteKelly, it's so good to see you! Thank you so much for your kind words; it's just so good to still be here.
DeleteGod speed Andrew as you run this race you have been called to run. He awaits you at Heaven's gate, arms open. Those who have gone before you cheer you on for they know you have already won....because He is VICTORIOUS! Thank you for sharing this journey with so many, may I be so Faithful.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much for this picture, of Christ waiting for me, arms spread wide!
DeleteI really needed this today.
Yes, you have won - you ARE winning - because you continue to choose love, faith, and hope. May you be encouraged and comforted. You are loved and held up in the prayers of so many.
ReplyDeleteKym, I am so grateful for your affirmation, that I am winning...being encouraged in this way, it means the world to me.
DeleteAndrew, we are members of a club no one wants to join. I thank you for your love, joy, peace, fight, courage, strength, persistence, and your faith. BTW, I found you through J's Hot, Holy, & Humorous blog. I'm her assistant and have always been impressed by your comments. Keep fighting, my friend.
ReplyDeleteHeather, thank you so much...and please know you are in my prayers.
DeleteI'm delighted that you found me through J's blog. She's really a hero to me.
Thanks for these words, Andrew: I am glad you are still holding on and winning this battle.
ReplyDeleteJeannie, thank you...holding on is hard, but in a way, it's also fun...does that make sense?
Delete(((((Andrew)))))
ReplyDeleteAnnie in Texas
((((((ANNIE!))))))
DeleteThank you, with all my heart.
Hi Andrew, No matter how challenging the day, we can give, reflect, praise,and embrace the bits of grace that come our way. And, yes, love is very much a part of that. It's actually kind of amazing how trials, suffering, unpleasant and untidy circumstances soften us and renew our spirits. . . when we give it our all, when we let them, and when God helps us. Yet, the fighting is necessary as well, or we'd give up and abandon the effort. My prayers for you (and Barbara) have taken a turn in a new direction. I'm asking Him to provide what you need and giving Him praise for it. Take care, my friend. The Lord be with you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Norma, thank you for this stiffening of the sinews, that the fight is needed.
DeleteI am so grateful that we have met.
Even in your fears, Andrew, you are one of the bravest men I know! Keep up the good fight, while also reaching out to inspire us to follow your lead. Prayers are constantly being lifted on your behalf to the Lord's throne! I hope you know and feel God's comfort because of it!
ReplyDeleteBeth, thank you so much for this lovely and loving encouragement. I will do my best, as I am able, to keep up the Good Fight.
DeleteIt's worth the pain,
Tbreit, yeah, tired is my major descriptor now...but I'm still here, and glad you are, too.
ReplyDelete