Why we're here...

Love and marriage are the greatest adventures in life, and they point they way to our relationship with the Almighty.

We're honored to be a member of the Christian Marriage Bloggers Association...click on their logo to visit them.

undefined

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Your Dying Spouse 500 - Lord, Make Me An Instrument {FMF}

Well, we made it. Five hundred posts on dying.

It's going downhill faster now; more pain, and I can barely walk, and sometimes can barely move without weeping.

I didn't think I'd get this far - and nor did my doctor - but there's a reason, and here it is, to the best of my reckoning.

Pancreatic cancer has taken much, but it's brought a gift, that hardest Grace.

Lord, make me an instrument of your peace.

God, the pain is offered to You, to use as You will.

Where there is hatred, let me bring love.


Love is what binds us together, and refines the unbearable as a lens for Your Heart.

Where there is offense, let me bring pardon.


I can't hold grudges any more. Let it go.

Where there is discord, let me bring union.


Our differences are so small in the face of enormous fears, and far greater Graces.

Where there is error, let me bring truth.


The truth is that we have to live for one another and for God, as He died for us. That's the deal.

Where there is doubt, let me bring faith.


We really can walk through the darkest nights with only a single candle of faith. Just walk with me; I'll hold your hand, and I won't let go.

Where there is despair, let me bring hope.


Despair can never win, if we take the hands outstretched to us, and extend ours to others, in hope. Our linked hands are a bridge across the abyss.

Where there is darkness, let me bring your light.


Always wanted to be a lighthouse. Barb loves 'em.

Where there is sadness, let me bring joy.


Sadness IS, in the deepest pit, the darkest valley, but there is joy in living for our friends, and for our greatest Friend.

O Master, let me not seek as much
to be consoled as to console,


I am failing, and things fall apart, but I will reach out and dry your tears, as mine have been dried.

to be understood as to understand,


From the edge of life, I can look back and see that good intentions did not pave the road to hell, but smoothed the road to Heaven.

to be loved as to love,


And my heart is breaking with the love that bursts out, for love is all we carry to the Throne of Grace.

for it is in giving that one receives,


It was never about what I could accomplish, but about holding the lamp for others, in love.

it is in self-forgetting that one finds,


My legacy is myself, poured out as libation, and holding nothing back.

it is in pardoning that one is pardoned,


I ask the forgiveness of those I have hated, and the pardon of those who wronged me, for in my anger I brought out their worst.

it is in dying that one is raised to eternal life.


I am ready.

Amen.

I'll bet you expected to hear a musical setting for St. Francis' Prayer...and I originally planned to have one here...but, you know, it's really time to rock out.

So here's Honest Men, by ELO Part 2, led by Bev Bevan, and including members of the original Electric Light Orchestra after that signature band went dormant. Bevan got permission from Jeff Lynne to carry on, and I think you'll agree...they preserved the sound and spirit!



Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.








53 comments:

  1. I love the prayer of St. Francis. Your willingness to pray this prayer and connect it to your life and ours is a beautiful legacy. Praying for your journey as always.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

      Delete
    2. Mary, thank you so much for this, and for your prayers, and please pardon my slow response.

      Delete
  2. Such a beautiful prayer offered for all of us to share with you. May the Lord give you His Grace and Mercy here. I have a dear friend who is burdened with a difficult cancer. Thank you for sharing these thoughts as I pray for him and you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bettie, thank you so much. We'll be praying for your friend, as we appreciate your prayers.

      And please pardon the delayed reply. A hard week.

      Delete
  3. Rocking out is never a bad decision. Hearing someone shred a guitar brings great joy.

    I believe that God hears this prayer and has indeed made you into a lighthouse. You allow Him to shine brightly through all the brokenness and pain. My brother, you are a good and faithful servant.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Marie, you're so right! It's ALWAYS time to rock out.

      And I appreciate your kind words so very, very much. Please forgive my tardy response!

      Delete
  4. Yes, the song hummed in my mind as I read your words tonight, Andrew. Your words brings such depth to St Francis' original prayer. Andrew, I thank God upon every remembrance of you, for your encouragements, your sense of humor, for your truth-filled, heart-felt words. God has definitely used you powerfully in many lives.

    I continue to pray for both you and Barb, my friend.

    PS—I'm glad you rocked out. Great song!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jeanne, I'm so grateful for your comment, and most especially for your prayers. And so glad you liked the song! (And please excuse my late reply!)

      Delete
  5. I like how you put this together. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much, Annette, and please pardon my late reply.

      Delete
  6. I think your prayer has been answered, Andrew, and I can only thank you for the friendship and encouragement you have given me, knowing that we have both experienced that 'hard Grace'. We may never have met but it is a privilege to count you as a friend and example in my life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Liz, I'm grateful for your friendship, as well. This comments means so much to me! And please pardon my delay in replying; it was a very hard week.

      Delete
  7. Ah, you never thought you'd hit 500, man. But HE did. And He still is using you to speak into our lives.

    Thank you, my blogging buddy ...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda, no, I never thought I'd get here. But God sure has a plan, and I'm honoured.

      And thank YOU! (And please pardon my delay in replying.)

      Delete
  8. Andrew, I am so grateful you hit 500 and may there be 501!!! Friend, God uses you to speak into so many of our lives. I am so grateful God saw fit to cross our lives through blogging! Continuing to pray for you & Barb daily!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joanne, thank you so much for this...and there will be a 501, tonight. We're so grateful for your prayers, and hope you will pardon the tardy reply.

      Delete
  9. Congratulations Andrew on 500! I have always loved this prayer and I love what you said about each line! Leave it to you to "rock us out!" Prayers continue.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, thank you! I'm delighted that you liked my take on St. Francis' Prayer, and so appreciative of yours. And please excuse my delay in replying.

      Delete
  10. Through the darkness, your words always shine the light. #500 was a great interpretation of a great prayer. I can't wait for #501.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joe, I am so grateful for what you said. There will be a 501, up later this evening. It was a rough week, but I made it.

      And please excuse my late reply.

      Delete
  11. I was reading someone else's fb post where they had this. I clicked here and read. I hold you both in prayer. I know deeply as I am a very recent widow - 6/7/18. My precious husband was a Vietnam Vet and got Lymphoma. The doctors gave him 7-10 days. We shared the most precious 5 months possible. God graced us with the beauty and peace of the Lord for those months. We had recently moved and had very little support here when Ken was diagnosed. But God gifted us with Christian neighbors, phone calls and the most wonderful hospice team. We worked together when Ken had the energy and finished sorting and putting away things in this still-full-of-boxes home. We talked about my future alone, but not alone. I have God, the Holy One of Israel as my Husband. We prayed and cried and loved and lived for the Lord. Oh my, I am so sorry you are going through this, yet the Lord is with both of you. We knew God's peace wrapped around us and I still do. Weeping happens and I miss Kenneth so very much. But God is blessing me, moving me through and onward. You have blessed me today and ELO/sorta "Honest Men" part 2 was great!
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

    ps...may I link to my blog where the last 4 posts are about Kenneth. 3 of them I wrote while he was still with me of earth. The last one, most recent one, was after he joined the Lord.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda, my heart goes out to you; I'm so very sorry for your recent loss, and know beyond any doubt that kenneth took your love with him when he went home.

      We're in the phase of planning or barbara's future life - as I write this she is sharing a pizza with an older couple in town who have taken her under their wing, and I'm so grateful for that.

      I'd be honoured if you'd send me the link, and I ask your pardon for the delayed response. It was a very hard week.

      Delete
  12. Andrew, thank you for your inspiration through this prayer by making it your own. What a blessing to read! God is sure shining His light very brightly through your life. Love and hugs to you and Barb! xo

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gayl, thank you for these lovely, grace-filled words. Love and hugs back, from both of us! {{XOXO}}

      Delete
  13. Love is all we can carry across the veil. Praying for you & Barb!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carol, thank you so much! e truly appreciate your prayers, and ask your pardon for the delayed response.

      Delete
  14. Well done on 500 posts! I really appreciate all the wisdom and insights you have shared. And this prayer is beautiful- thank you for continuing to shine the Light even through your darkness!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lesley, thank you so much...I truly appreciate your words and presence here. And I ask your pardon for my late response.

      Delete
  15. Congratulations on 500 posts! That is quite an accomplishment! You have given much to all of us. Thank you. May the Lord continue to give you grace for this hard road.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Rachel, thank you so much for your grace-filled words of support, and your prayers. And please pardon my delay in responding!

      Delete
  16. Sending much compassion and love to you both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Paula, we're so grateful...and please pardon my delay in responding

      Delete
  17. Andrew, you have blessed many of us more than you know and provided such an important perspective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Bethany, thank you so much for this, and please excuse my slow response.

      You're in our prayers.

      Delete
  18. I read what you posted today to Blythe on The Mundane Faithfulness blog. It was so thoughtfully written. What a gift you gave to her. Bless you as you continue on your journey to eternal life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you so much for this, DG (hope I am right that you are D.G. Caponi?). I'm so grateful for the kind words, and the thought behind them.

      And please pardon my delay in responding.

      Delete
  19. I haven’t published much since the time I went to Florida to care for my dad as he was dying.

    I have been praying for you, especially that God would use you as his instrument. I think he has. My life has been touched by your words many a time.
    I’ve been praying for Barbara too. I only had two weeks to care for my dad before he died. I treasure those memories of caring for him and loving on him until his last breath. I can’t imagine what longer would feel like, so I pray for her.

    Congratulations on 500 posts. You did it! Thank you for sharing your gift of writing and the gift of your story for God’s honor.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh, Cheryl...such a hard road you've had. I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad your Dad had you there.

      Your prayers, especially for Barb, are very much appreciated. It's awfully hard on her.

      Thank you so much for being here, and please pardon my late reply.

      Delete
  20. What beautiful requests! Blessings and peace to you as your words have brought to others. Hugs!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leigh, thank you so much for this! Hugs back! (And please forgive my tardy reply!)

      Delete
  21. Although facing death is difficult, what awaits is beyond any words can explain...

    Andrew did you get to read the "Excerpt" from my book "I go to prepare a place for you" of my own death experience.

    You can find the link on my "Meet Jennifer" page.
    Jennifer

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, I did read the excerpt from your book...several times. Your clarity of writing is just phenomenal, and the grace that infuses your words...wow.

      It's such a comfort you've given us! (And please pardon my late reply.)

      Delete
  22. Go in peace, Andrew... flying on the wings of the morning star.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jane, thank you so much for this lovely, lovely wish. And please excuse my delay in replying.

      Delete
  23. Powerful post. Sobering of course - but encouraging. For all of us - no matter how many posts we may or may not get. Praying for you....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jennifer, I'm so glad you could find encouragement in this...to be able to offer encouragement is the highest honour.

      Thank you so much for your prayers, and please pardon my delay in replying.

      Delete
  24. This is beautiful, Andrew. I loved reading your thoughts after each line of this hymn. Many blessings as you struggle through!

    ReplyDelete
  25. I was really searching for such a nice post and got here...Thanks for sharing such a nice information, its beneficial for me...Keep sharing more IncBestreviews

    ReplyDelete