Don't know what's more amazing, that I've survived this long or that I screwed up the order like that.
A couple of days ago there was a sermon on Trinity Broadcasting by Robert Jeffers, on what we can expect in Heaven.
Barb was curious that I didn't want to watch. I mean, the likelihood is that I'll be going soon...why would I not want to know that balm to which my aching heart and body could look forward?
I told her that I'd find out soon enough, but that's not the whole reason.
The big thing is sorrow...because I really do love my life here. And I'm sad to be leaving.
Yes, it hurts to breathe, and to move, and now bones are fracturing under normal use, which really can't be good.
Yes, food is all unappetizing, and sleep doesn't come, just eerie dozes with weird dreams, like playing golf with a chimpanzee, and being Tom Clancy's chauffeur.
And pain. Did I mention that? As I type this I want to scream. It hurts so damned much.
But in spite of all that, I don't want to go. I want to continue praying for Barbara, and to see her grow professionally and personally.
I want to take care of my dogs, who have taken such good care of me by providing laughs and warm furry hugs.
I want to watch my friends from cyberspace develop their writing skills, and climb that hard mountain of success.
I want to be here for them.
And for me. Sure there are tears, but a smile through the tears counts for something, yeah? I'd like to think, something big.
Heaven's probably a pretty swell place.
But it's not my place. Not yet.
Music from the Alan Parsons Project, with Closer To Heaven. It's a lovely song; please give it a listen.
Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.
I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.