"For what it may be worth, to be filed under ‘keeping hope alive’, I am finding that as my situation grows more hopeless, hope itself burns all the brighter to warm and illuminate my days.
* Yeah, that sounds really stupid. A mentally lethal overdose on The Power Of Positive Thinking.
* But there may be something deeper and true at work; it’s hard to breathe, and I’m grateful for every breath. It’s hard to move, and every step is a small miracle. It’s hard to write, and the rationed effort means every word has to have meaning.
* What if all these together, the gratitude and the wonder and the exacting need discovered accidentally and at painful cost, are the soil and the water and the sunlight of hope’s nurturing?
* What if it means that hope is not what we have, but what we become?"
- left as a comment on the Books and Such blog post, "There's Still Hope For New Writers!"
I guess it means that hope has to be intentional, which is the Five Minute Friday prompt this week.
Please know that I treasure your comments. I read (or have read to me) all of them, and this week I was able to answer most. I will keep trying, but please have patience.
And here is the best scene from Lord Of The Rings: The Return Of The King. I take great comfort in it; I hope you will, too.
The journey doesn't end here.
And music, from the same source...Into The West. Barbara will probably have this played at my funeral. Don't know if she'll be able to sing it (she has a lovely voice, and sang Amazing Grace at our wedding).
Still, I don't want to die. Please help me to be brave?
You have given me so much hope and courage. I am praying for you as you continue to fight bravely on this hard journey. I look forward to meeting you one day on the other side. Much love to you and Barbara.
ReplyDeleteRachel, thank you so much for this, and mot especially for your prayers. I look forward to meeting you over there, too.
DeleteOh... that song is mesmerizing and reduced me to tears. Feel us all carrying you, Andrew? Much love to you and your dear wife.
ReplyDeleteI do feel that, Sandy. I've been carried for a long time, and I am so grateful.
DeleteLove back, from both of us.
I think I liked "In Dreams" best of all the Lord of the Rings anthems. And, until we do get to see each other, dreams are one meeting place we can share.
ReplyDeleteRomans 5:5 came to mind as I read your comments.
"...and hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out within our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us."
You have eternal hope, and in this, I rejoice, Andrew! How you have grown in the last three years. Truly, God has used your commitment to let His light shine radiantly across the country and even the world.
Thank you for staying faithful, as Job did, though your pain be great and your suffering unfathomable.
Your friend,
Tammy
"In Dreams" is really lovely, Tammy. It was a hard choice.
DeleteThank you so much for the Romans 5:5, and for your kind words...growing has been hard but worth it.
So has everything else, that we found a friend like you.
Glory is your future friend! You have inspired so many! And I agree 100% with Tammy, God has grown you so much over the years it's been a joy and pleasure to watch. One day there will be a grand FMF gathering!
ReplyDeleteChristy, thank you so much...and I truly look forward to that gathering!
Deleteme too dude! Looking forward to hugging your pain free neck!
DeleteAndrew. Dear friend. I already told you this comment ministered to deep places in . my heart. Knowing that none of our pain is wasted. Knowing that even in the hardest of times, even in the most horrible seasons, the pain is not wasted.
ReplyDeleteAndrew, you are an inspiration to me and many others.
For some reason, this is the verse that came to mind as I prayed for you...Isaiah 41:10—
"So do not fear, for I am with you;
do not be dismayed, for I am your God.
I will strengthen you and help you;
I will uphold you with my righteous right hand."
You are not alone, my friend. We pray for you and Barb often through the days and night. Sending you very gentle hugs.
Jeanne, thank you, truly. We so appreciate the prayers, and the gentle hugs are treasure.
DeleteIsaiah is perfect. I know I am not alone. Thank you for this.
I think "What if it means that hope is not what we have, but what we become?" is my favorite line of yours ever. Sending love and prayers to you and Barb.
ReplyDeletePaula, thank you so much for this affirmation, and especially fo the love and prayers.
DeleteAs our friend Susan states, hope changes things! You, my friend, are hope embodied as you continue to treasure every moment you get. And Lord of the Rings...you can't go wrong! I'm in the 4 spot this week.
ReplyDeleteTara, Susan is so right! I truly appreciate your words, and yes...can't go wrong with LOTR!
DeleteAnd I loved your post this week.
Inspiration, blessing, hope, commitment, faithful, courage, brave, and love. These are all words used today to describe you and your walk with God even though it is a walk through difficult trial. Thank you for being so brave to share the hard stuff. Praying for you today that God will ease any pain so that you might be ministered to as you so ably minister to others. ♥
ReplyDeleteNanette, thank you so much for your kind words, your presence here, and most especially, for your prayers.
DeleteAndrew,
ReplyDeleteYou are one intentional person! God is intentional in His love for you and He intends to bless you beyond what you could ever ask or think. Each week you amaze me with your intentional words of hope for others while you suffer. I don't ask that God bless you, I thank God for blessing you and that your eyes would see it.
Mary, I love this comment, and I am so very honoured!
DeleteContinue on in faith Andrew.
ReplyDeleteI will, Annette. Thank you.
DeleteOH MY...not one dry eye in this thread of comments, I'm certain. YOU. ANDREW. My faith tells me "It won't be so bad" but my heart says "WHY?" Why certain people taken so young. Why, God, why? O Lord Jesus be with my friends - these special friends I have never touched, shared bread, toasted with.... Only You Lord know ...
ReplyDeleteSusan, only He knows...and while it will be bad, the bad is needed to make His Glory shine all the brighter. Jesus' victory was over death, and He is our guide through this.
DeleteI'm OK. No resentment.
Susan's right about no dry eyes, Andrew: those clips, and your words, make me cry. That idea of us becoming hope: how beautiful!
ReplyDeleteJeannie, I so appreciate your words, and your love and friendship. Thank you so much!
DeleteThankful for your intentionality, Andrew! That through this all, you are such an encouragement.
ReplyDeleteThank YOU, Annie. Your writings have been a tremendous encouragement to me.
DeleteThank you for pushing past your pain to keep us informed on how you are doing emotionally in this battle of your life, Andrew. Your intentionality is remarkable and inspiring, my friend! You are in my thoughts and prayers as always!
ReplyDeleteBeth, I so appreciate the prayers. This is getting so hard.
DeleteI think it is so precious the words that form your thoughts and feelings at the doorstep of eternity. I love your honesty in not wanting to die, but asking for bravery to take the next steps. I look forward to meeting you there and sharing the beauty of our eternal home in the presence of Jesus' radiance. Andrew I can tell your eyes are on Jesus and you're already shining from being constantly in His presence. Peace, my friend, brave peace for you and Barbara.
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you so much for these gracious, lovely and loving words. I am so grateful, and look forward to meeting you there, in His Presence.
DeleteOf course I'm praying extra hard for both of you.
ReplyDeleteJanet, I want to thank you for your consistency. You always show up on Andrew's blog and leave a word of cheer and say you're praying. I've been encouraged by your faithfulness. Bless you, Norma.
DeleteThank you. Most other people who reply have more to say, but I like to encourage him.
DeleteJan, we so appreciate the prayers, and the priceless encouragement. We can't do this alone.
Delete"What if it means that hope is not what we have, but what we become?"
ReplyDeleteEventually life reduces to the most basic of things. To breathe, to move, to write for god's glory is to hope in Him.
Lamentations 3:24 "The LORD is my portion," says my soul, "Therefore I have hope in Him."
Thank you for your hope-filled words, Andrew! Keeping you and your dear wife in prayer. God bless.
Vicki, thank you so much, and the verse from Lamentations is perfect. We truly appreciate your prayers.
DeleteOh my... such hard fought, grace-filled wisdom in this one statement: "hope is not what we have, but what we become"
ReplyDeleteWe have witnessed the truth of this thanks to the internet at Five Minute Fridays in you, brother! May it be said of all of us... may we, too, become Hope!
Praying for you and for Barbara!
Much love!
Karrilee, thank you so much for this, and we are most especially grateful for your prayers.
DeleteAndrew, I love that scene too. It speaks life. Thank you for putting forth the effort to keep in contact. Bless you.
ReplyDeleteDear Norma, it's a privilege to be here. I am so blessed, and would not ask for another thing.
DeleteWe're just reading the Lord of the Rings with the kids for the first time. So powerful. And so is your post. You shared an interesting point "maybe hope is what we become". If Jesus is our Hope, our goal is to become like him. So, yes, I think that is what happens when we embrace him. Praying for you, Andrew. May God surround you with his grace and peace!
ReplyDeleteMari-Anna, how wonderful, going through LOTR with the children and seeing it through their fresh eyes. We are indeed enjoined to be like Him...pretty tough sometimes. But He helps. A lot.
DeleteWe than you so much for the prayers!
I've never read or watched "The Lord of the RIngs." The scene reminds me that Jesus has told us death is not the end... just the beginning of something greater. When the time comes, He'll meet us, carry us over the threshhold into a magnificent eternity with Him. With Jesus there is hope... yes, when we know Him we become that hope... it shines through us, as a testimony. We've seen that hope continue to burst forth from you in spite of all you're dealing with. God has used you to to reach so many. What a testimony of hope!
ReplyDeleteJerry and I continue to pray for all of you... that God's love and peace and strength surround you and keep you in His presence. Love and blessings from us.
P.S. You ARE brave, Andrew! Look at this blog! I see bravery in each typed word. You are a true Christian soldier. We will pray that you feel the bravery you already possess. ♥
DeleteOh, Dina, than you so much! I do strongly suggest you see both movie trilogies, The Lord Of The Rings and The Hobbit. I had resisted seeing them for a long time; but they are SO good!
DeleteSo true, that with jesus there is hope...the only hope, and all our dreams fulfilled.
We thank you and Jerry so much for your prayers.
Andrew, I'll admit I came here almost hesitantly this morning... wondering what the past week had brought in your journey. And here you are, once again courageously present, speaking Truth, and ministering to my soul. Thank you, Brother, for sharing your story here.
ReplyDeleteYou asked "What if...hope is not what we have, but what we become?" And I found myself nodding in response: It is! I've seen that happen over and over again in the past decade as my husband and I worked with Hope Unlimited for Children, serving former street children and trafficked children in Brazil. They received hope - because we offered it to them - but 90% (!) of our graduates have now broken multi-generational cycles of poverty and ARE THE HOPE in their communities. That's the end goal: that every one of us BE THE HOPE for others while on this Earthly journey. You have certainly extended it to me many times in your writings, and I will be eternally grateful. May God grant you as much physical comfort as possible this weekend - and as much godly wisdom as you can handle. Prayers continue...
Susan, what an inspiring narrative! Thank you so much for sharing this, and your noble and blessed work. I have seen street kids; I could not help them much, but I thank God for people like you and your husband.
DeleteAnd thank you so much for the prayers.
" What if it means that hope is not what we have, but what we become?"
ReplyDeleteAndrew, your life, your story is hope for me. I am trying to think of how to even thank you. I pray for you and for Barb.
Oh, Kelly...you've made our day. Your word are thanks enough, and in abundance.
DeleteWe truly appreciate your prayers.
Interesting question to ponder: What if hope is not what we have, but what we become? I guess this is a learning process and unfortunately, only life can teach us that.
ReplyDeleteYou are such an example of this hope who keeps going and writing and encouraging in this dark hour. Thank you!
Thinking of you!
Katha, it is indeed a learning process. Not always an easy one, but infinitely worthwhile.
DeleteThank you so much for being here!
Your deep faith gives hope to others. You could not write what you do and how you do, if the living Christ were not deep within you. Hugs, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteLeigh, thank you...especially for the hugs. They're needed.
DeleteAndrew, your intentionally praising God, trusting, and serving Him through your writing in the deepest pain and suffering brings hope to me. Gentle hugs and lots of prayer.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, thank you so much. The hugs and prayers are truly appreciated, and needed.
DeleteAndrew, I cannot imagine how our Lord will embrace you for the brave fight you are enduring. You constantly remind me, and all of us, to be brave, to keep fighting, and to keep holding on to our God. Praying for you and Barb this morning.
ReplyDeleteJoanne, we are so grateful for your shining words. Thank you so much! And especially, for your prayers.
DeleteMany thanks to you and Barbara for walking this path within "sight" of so many of us. We are greatly blessed.
ReplyDeleteMichele, thanks so much...we are blessed to have friends like you.
DeleteThank you for the reminder that we can not allow ourselves to be tossed around in the waves of life, and expect to be intentionally filled with hope. We have to grab hope. We have to claim it. We have to ask God for supernatural hope. I am praying for you and Barb. -Jolene
ReplyDeleteJolene, YES! Hope has to be claimed, and nurtured...and given over to Go.
DeleteWe thank you so much for your prayers.
what beautiful dedication you have to keep writing!
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing-
-Traci www.tracimichele.com
Traci, I am so honoured...thank you so much for being here.
DeleteBeautiful, my friend! Praying for you and Barb and the fur babies!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! The B and the fur babies truly appreciate your prayers. They're exhausted. It's been bad.
DeleteI love that your mind is turning toward LOTR. I'm reading it aloud to my daughter, and we're at the part where Boromir just sacrificed himself defending the hobbits, and the Fellowship is broken. Some days it's really hard to read to her, because ohhh her tender heart aches--the tears literally ran down her cheeks when Gandalf died, and I know much harder days lie ahead. To think of walking with her (and Frodo and Sam) into Mordor!!!!!!! #( )*@(T)$*$ . Ugh. It seems cruel to keep reading, almost, because I KNOW how her heart is going to genuinely hurt. (Darn books and how they needle themselves deep into one's heart!)
ReplyDeleteBut. The triumph of Eowyn awaits. The rising of heroes. The crowning of Aragorn. The healing of the Shire. And--off in the beautiful, holy distance--the Grey Havens. It's for all this that I am going take her through Mordor first, because I know those tears at the end will fall as diamonds.
Makes a person think Deep Thoughts, about life, death, suffering. But unlike LOTR--gloriously unlike, I'm thinking--we aren't forced to walk alone in the suffering. Hope--yes, I think you're onto something. It's not a thing to be had, or an elusive achievement to be won. -I also like to remember Hope in Pilgrim's Progress (another favorite book--though--confession-the most precious version to me is Helen Taylor's retelling for children), who reached out a firm hand to pull Christian out of the Slough of Despond. Ever since I was a child myself and read this story, Hope has been a Person for me.
Maybe, in the end, it's a combination of both? Who I am becoming--and Who I have now.
Praying for you both, so very often. May Hope, in all its scarred, fierce, relentless beauty, flourish. xoxo
My daughter says I mixed up the characters--Help came to the Slough, and Hopeful was the person who walked alongside Christian through the latter half of his journey. Ah, memory, how I miss you...
DeleteRebekah, I love this, your take on LOTR. Truly, the Grey Havens can only lie beyond Mordor.
DeleteAnd tears indeed fall as diamonds, collected by the One whose love is faithful.
Wednesday is one of my kids' favorite days of the week. Years ago we made it sacred, our inviolable family night, when school work is cut short and the kids get in their pjs early to snuggle on the couch with pizza and cartoons. In the middle of our crazy, crazy schedule, Wednesday faithfully brings us a breath of peace. Funny how it's worked out, but each Wednesday powerfully reorients our perspectives and revives our spirits. --Also, I'd just like to add that in the doldrums of January, there's just something holy about turning on the oven.
ReplyDeleteWe are praying for you, dear Andrew & Barbara, on this Wednesday. May it be holy for you too; may the presence of God flood your home and hearts and bring refreshment to your spirits. And if you like, I will even write an excuse for you to skip your math homework, just this once. :)
Rebekah, your description of your Wednesdays fill me with longing...I had a dreadful childhood, and may I say that I wish you had been my Mom?
DeleteWe so appreciate your prayer...and the excuse to skip maths homework is gratefully received! Though I have a doctorate in structural engineering, and have taught math-heavy courses like Elasticity and Plates and Shells, maths were always a trial for me.
I am praying harder than I've ever prayed in my life for you and your wife. I hope you're still here and I hope you know what a positive force you have been for me and for others. You are one of the strongest and kindest people I have ever had the honor of calling my friend. Thank you for being so brave. Thank you for everything. You are in my thoughts.
ReplyDelete-Jen Sheppard
Jen, I'm here...I so appreciate your loving words, and please know that you have been that for me, a beacon of strength and courage and decency in a world gone mad.
DeleteI am not a hugger, but rest assured, dear Jen, that when we meet in God's Presence, you will receive a hug that you will never, ever forget...for you have been my North Star.
Marie, thank you so much! I am encouraged, and blessed.
ReplyDelete