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Sunday, February 12, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 271 - Do You Want To Know?

This post will of necessity be short; I had a bad fall yesterday, and a severe concussion. Recovery is slow, and thinking, much less typing, is quite difficult.

So, I would like to ask a question - if you were terminally ill, would you want to know how long you had (at least according to a doctor's best estimate)?

It's not a question I can really answer, because my doctor thinks I should have been dead four years ago. I'm on a lot of borrowed time, and I'm starting to really feel it.

But I still don't want to know. I want to face every day with the hope that I can live it, and every night with the hope that I will survive it.

In the words of Thor, played in cinema by Chris Hemsworth, "I have no plans to die today."

To which Heimdall (Idris Elba) answered, "None do."

So, what about you? Do you want to know the approximate date and mode of your passing, or not?

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!

And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.






24 comments:

  1. Good question. I think I'd want to know, and then would have to work like crazy not to make an idol out of the information. This is a strange comparison, but when I was expecting my four boys, I was very focused on the due date. Boy #3 was overdue by 8 days, and I woke up every morning thinking, "Well, what's taking so long." I would probably have that same response to a doctor's prognosis, which is really no way to live.

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    1. Michele, I love the way you put this - wanting to know yet wanting not to make an idol of the information.

      It's a hard balance. And you're right, waiting out a doctor's prognosis is really no way to live.

      Thanks so much for being here!

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  2. I am so sorry for where you're finding yourself today, friend. I hope that putting this important question on the table will encourage your own soul.

    And my answer is yes. I'd want to know. I'd want to redeem every moment, take every opportunity, indulge in every conversation, live out every dream.

    And then I realize that's how I should be living life right in the here and now.

    Pro-active, loving deeply, finishing well.

    You've given me cause for pause. Yet once again, friend.

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    1. Linda, thanks so much. Facing the question does encourage me, you're right.

      It can be so easy to take days for granted when they seem limitless! But I'm very grateful for where I am, because I can make choices that are truly important...and always were.

      I'm so glad you're here.

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  3. The above comments are wise.

    My father lived a lot longer than anyone anticipated and I often wondered why.

    Later, I realized his life endured so long not for his sake, but for that of other family members--who had that time to learn and make peace with my father.

    That's a good work, Andrew, and certainly the blogs posts you have labored so long and hard to write are valuable.

    I'm sorry you're injured again and in such pain, but I thank you for your work.

    Blessings and prayers, as always,

    M

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    1. Michelle, you've really hit on the key to surviving. It's having a duty beyond oneself. This blog, and my participation in others, is very important to me, mainly because it's an avenue by which I can bring encouragement.

      Thanks so much for sharing the story of your father. I truly appreciate it.

      And I really appreciate the prayers!

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  4. I don't think I would want to know. I would set my paperwork and household in order and then spend each day loving the Lord, my family, and friends. If I had work to do, I'd continue in that and I'd make as much art as I could. ... and I'd get several dogs. :)

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    1. Lori, that sounds like a plan! Get things set so you don't have to think about them...and bring on the Lord, the family, the friends, and (WOOF!) the dogs. Love it!

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  5. I think I would want to know. And then I would want to make sure my family knew how very much I loved them and how much they mean to me! Take care Andrew! Thinking of you!

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    1. Paula, you said this so beautifully. Thank you for this gem of a comment!

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  6. I'd rather not know, though maybe by knowing in the last few days it would help to be able to notify others.

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    1. Jan, you raise a good point - that notifying others is really the final duty we have. Thanks so much for this.

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  7. Definitely not, Andrew. I think you're right about it keeping you (and us) going when we do not know the day or hour. However, I also think if the time was drawing near, I might try to live more purposefully, even more Christ-honoring. It's sad that it would take that kind of life-threatening moment to get me to seek God with such intensity that every single moment and act was about Him. I pursue that now, but am often lazy in it. Thanks for this thought-provoking post, my friend. And I'm praying you keep on keeping on, as well as thanking God for giving you that extra time.

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    1. Beth, it's a wise thing, as the end nears, to be more Christ-centered. I find that it makes the days much brighter.

      I think, though, that we will find when we are in His Presence that God has counted far more of our days as being devoted to Him than we had ever dreamed. Like iron filings to a magnet, our souls are irresistibly drawn to His Grace and Glory.

      Thank you so much for the prayers! Hard days, but He is with me always.

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  8. My first reaction is no. I want to live with hope as you share with us. Thank you for writing even as you are suffering. Your words are always a light.

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    1. Oh, Mary, thank you so much for this lovely and grace-filled comment!

      You're a light to me, on a painful evening.

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  9. I am a procrastination machine and I am better off not knowing. I also very much like to be in control and by not letting me know my time, I cannot misuse the information!!
    The amount of manipulative power is significant (see Pollyanna and the crotchety old lady) when you think you know the time and you are a manipulator.
    We should value our days always, whether we have hours or hundreds of hours or days left.
    Today is my manna. Did I do well with today?

    Four years past the doctor? You should be a reimbursed medical study, Andrew?!!!

    PS I read a local author mystery this weekend and have to send it your way. Barbara can read it to you. The main character is retired and married to "Barb" as well. The writing? Well, you need some humor in your life. I will try to mail it tomorrow.
    Happy Valentine's Day to you both!!
    Love,
    Tammy

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    1. Tammy, thank you so much for this insightful comment. I love the way you said this - by not letting me know my time, I cannot misuse the information. That's so true!

      Yep, four years, and he has talked about writing a paper on me. Really! I don't know if it will happen - he's very busy, and does a lot of pro bono work - but I'll sure cooperate.

      And thank you for the book you sent; we'll be watching for it. We're so very grateful!

      Love back, from both of us.

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  10. I *think* I would want to know. But until I'm in those shoes, who can say for sure? I'm sorry for your fall over the weekend, Andrew. :( Praying for your comfort and recovery. I know if anyone can hang in there, it's you!

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    1. Lisa, I know what you mean. When I was healthy, I thought I would want to know, but from this perspective...no, thanks.

      And thank you so much for the prayers. The fall took a lot out of me, and has made both thinking and typing a laborious process.

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  11. No I would not! I have battled fear almost all my life and that just seems like too much info, but that's just me. I am praying for you, Andrew. How you approach your days is so fear-punching to me. Thank you for bravely sharing your story faithfully!

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    1. Meg, it's not just you! I'm scared too. This evening I had a run of dry heaves that I thought would kill me. The pain went overboard, and I was terrified. But it passed, enough for me to at least answer comments. Not good for much else at the moment.

      Thanks so much for being here, my friend.

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  12. Wow. What a question. Andrew, you always make us think. I think that I would want to know a very general, but not specific amount of time. For one thing, I believe part of what stretches our time is hope, as you said so well. My best friend beat her prognosis by more than a year by sheer force of will, hope and grace - much like yourself. I believe that we should all live as if we have no plans to die but are ready in case we do. We should...but we most often don't. Your questions reminds me of the need to be ready - now. Treasure now, love now, trust now, and hope now.
    Prayers, Andrew - as always, you are in my prayers.
    Stopping by from Inspire Me Monday

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    1. Carol, your words mirror the opening lines of "Hagakure", the 17th-century work that defined the Samurai concept of Bushido - a Samurai should always live in such a way that he is prepared to die.

      This kind of life is an act of service, for the very word, Samurai, comes from the verb 'to serve'.

      So I think you're right, Carol. We have an obligation to be ready, but to live as if we will see another dawn.

      Thank you so much for the prayers! Need them tonight. Kind of a bad episode a couple of hours ago, but I'm glad to still be here.

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