These words have been in my heart lately, when I've thought that my life is no longer a lesson but a mindless beasting, a gang initiation that never stops.
And it comes to the mind of every caregiver, and is often either unacknowledged or admitted in shame..."How could I want to move on? This is so disloyal..."
When time seems stuck, and life seems to be a replay of The Fifty Worst Moments, yeah, you want to move on.
Don't beat yourself up. Even Jesus, on the Cross, wondered what it was all about. "Father, why have You forsaken Me?"
But I'll counter all of the above with a quote from Richard Bach's lovely book "Illusions: The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah".
Here is a test to find out whether your mission on Earth is finished: if you're alive, it isn't.
And that is so true. I was ready to just throw in the towel and then I realized, from a Five Minute Friday prompt of Happy, that I am still happy, and that happiness is not found in either memory or anticipation; it's found in a complete acceptance of the Now. (You can read about it here.)
And for the caregiver...I knew a chap who watched the slow deterioration of the man who was not his father, but who had married his mother. Honour-bound to stand in interminable attendance to a man he truly loathed, he came to understand the real meaning of compassion.
It isn't about me. It's about what I can give to someone who needs what I alone can supply.
He found the lesson uncomfortable, but when the whole horrible exercise was done, he realized he was a better man.
The man God wanted him to be.
If your spouse is alive, past all reason and all patience...there is a reason.
And if you are alive, in spite of having lost so very much...you may still have a lesson to learn.
Or a lesson to teach.
Marley update...he's received a lot of support, but STILL NEEDS HELP TO BE SAVED.
WE ARE MAKING A DIFFERENCE!
He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.
He's up to nearly 200,000 signatures, but the local authorities are dragging their feet. They think that we'll give up and go away. We won't.
If you have a mment, I'd like to ask you to visit Change.org to consider a petition to free a 'death row dog' who has been separated from his family for ten months over a misunderstanding. Marley was saved from Afghanistan by a US serviceman; please help make sure this story doesn't end in needless tragedy! Marley's gotten a lot of support...but he still needs our help.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Oh, Andrew, thank you for that mission test!
ReplyDeleteMichele, thank you! (And please pardon my delay in replying.)
DeleteSuch a good lesson for all of us to hear. If we are still here, we still are purposed. Thanks for your encouragement to us, Andrew. Staying in the now is one of the most important things I know to do, and need to do so much better.
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you so much for this, and please pardon my late response.
DeleteBless you, Andrew, for your words of wisdom that God will undoubtedly use to bless others. Continued prayers for you and Barbara.
ReplyDeleteJune, thank you so much, and thanks especially for the prayers. Been a long week.
DeleteOK, Andrew...so, I needed to read these words; and I need to take them from the screen and your blog and add them somewhere that I'll see them EVERY SINGLE DAY when I wonder WHY? and HOW can I keep doing this? Your words, as always, come into my heart and my head - usually just when I needed to hear/read them!
ReplyDelete"If your spouse is alive, past all reason and all patience...there is a reason. And if you are alive, in spite of having lost so very much...you may still have a lesson to learn.
Or a lesson to teach."
I am still here; so I guess I have a lesson yet to learn, or to teach! And, YOU my friend, are sharing the lessons you have learned and are learning still!!
Thank you, Andrew...
Oh, Barbara, thank YOU! (And please overlook my tardy reply?)
DeleteI am so grateful that you are still here, and I know Barbara is, too. I love that ... if we are still here, God isn't finished with us. Amen. Even in my grandmother's worst days, I wish she was still here to make me smile and laugh. I miss her. This life is just way too short. Much love to you both. xoxo
ReplyDeleteOh, Shelli, thank you so much, and thank you for sharing your feelings about your grandmother. She's waiting for you, my friend, and when you meet there won't be an end to smiles and laughter.
DeleteXOXO back at you!
I am so grateful that you are still here, and I know Barbara is, too. I love that ... if we are still here, God isn't finished with us. Amen. Even in my grandmother's worst days, I wish she was still here to make me smile and laugh. I miss her. This life is just way too short. Much love to you both. xoxo
ReplyDeleteGreat perspective, Andrew. I loved Richard Bach's reality check. :) I think sometimes, we just need to take a step away from the struggle of caring for/watching a loved one through illness, and give ourselves a little break. Today I've realized I need a break. 24/7 caring for all my boys' needs has left me weary. Hubs just got home from a 3 week business trip and had to jump right back into work. I need a break to restore my perspective—both mind and heart.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your wisdom.
Jeanne, you're absolutely right. Sometimes we really need that break, to shift perspective. And you said this beautifully - 'of both mind and heart'.
DeleteThanks so much for being here!
Andrew, excellence...yes, achieved. My cousin honored the father she disdained as she gave him care during the last months of his life. He was totally gone in his Alzheimer's existence. She could have just left him in that care center to be ignored and wasted but.she.went.every.day. Washed his feet. Combed his hair. Trimmed his nails. Not because of her love for him but because she loved her Savior and remember His words...Blessed are they who....................(xo)
ReplyDeleteSusan, what a lovely story, and so glad that your cousin took the doorway that led to closeness with Christ. Simply beautiful. Thank you so much for sharing it!
Delete