We're with Inspire Me Monday, today. Please visit them! We are also linked with Wedded Wednesday.
Well, what should we talk about now?
As a terminal illness takes its toll, and the situation becomes obvious to the most obdurate Cleopatra (queen of de Nile...get it?) options for conversation become limited.
You're likely in the workforce...and your spouse has been, or will soon be, invalided out. Your life may be a swirl of personalities and responsibilities, while your husband or wife may be concerned largely with the effects of medication, and trying to get through the day.
Their main companion, barring attentive friends or neighbors, may be the television.
Common conversational ground may be pretty hard to find.
The best thing you can do, as a caregiving spouse, is to listen. Take your cues from what's being said.
There are many people who, when ill, find a dread fascination in their illness, in what's happeningto their bodies. This isn't narcissism; it's more likely fear, especially if this individual had not been inclined to worry over every sniffle in the past.
And there are those who would prefer to say nothing, either out of denial ("if I don't talk about it it might go away") or a deep-seated dislike of 'organ recitals'.
The best thing you can do for the tell-all individual is to simply listen, and ask leading questions, even if you feel like you want to scream, bang you head against a wall, and jump out the nearest window.
I mean, it's BORING!
And if you're married to someone like...well, like me, and you have to pull teeth to find out how he or she is feeling, resist the temptation unless it's absolutely necessary.
As it was this morning; my wife came into the kitchen to find a pool of blood that I had not had the energy to clean up,and when she asked what happened, she was rightly not satisfied with , "Oh, nothing."
Moving to other topics (about time1), you may find that your mate's taken a stronger-than-expected interest in religion. Trinity Broadcasting is available on cable everywhere, and by antenna in many places, and you can get 24-hours-a-day religion. This can be good or bad.
You may find that it suddenly becomes a defining interest, and you'll long for the change to change the channel to Monday Night Football, The Voice...anything!
But even if you feel this way, please, again, have patience and listen, because the questions of eternity loom large in the heart of a person who's going to meet it soon.
You don't have to have answers. But do listen to the questions.
And, finally, feel free to talk about what your day was like, what's important to you.
It makes us feel like we're still a part of the world, that you take the time to include us.