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Sunday, March 8, 2015

Marriage Play Date

When was the last time you played with your husband or wife?

I'm emphatically not talking about "sex play"; that's a different issue.

But when did you last throw a Frisbee back and forth...or go bowling, just the two of you...or went to play miniature golf?

I'll bet it's been a while.

I'll bet it's been since the early days of your marriage...or your courtship.

Play is part of how we're wired. having fun...just plain 'fun', without an agenda...is something that we need.

Play is where we find innocence. Play is where we find the person we love, without the serious uniform of obligation, and without the heavy makeup of sexuality.

We're always looking for someone. We're looking for that magical person, that Peter pan, that can lead us back to our childhood..."I'll never grow up!"

But we lose the "someone", all to often...in something.

We seek our Someone in hobbies and avocations, sometimes in our careers...and too often in extramarital relationships.

But why not give your mate a chance? Why not cut loose...and perhaps your husband or wife really IS Peter Pan?

What if you don't HAVE to grow up?

Why not say, tonight..."Let's go bowling!"

Why not spend a summer afternoon rollerblading along the beach (and spend that evening in the ER...well, okay...)?

Maybe nothing will come of it. Maybe you're all grown up, and fun just bounces off you. Maybe it's too late.

But maybe...just maybe...you'll find a connection you'd thought you'd lost.

And you can fall in love all over again.

Linking to Inspire Me Monday.


  1. I love this concept, Andrew! You're right--we need to keep playing and dating our spouse in order to keep the sparks flowing and the love growing :).

    1. I love the way you said that...keep the sparks flowing and the love growing!

      That's one to write on the refrigerator door. Not on a post-it...with a permanent marker, on the door itself.

  2. Absolutely necessary in a marriage to keep fun a priority. Too often we become bogged down with all the heavy issues of life. Thank you for this reminder! Now as soon as I recover from foot surgery and the weather breaks I'll be asking my hubby to walk the boards like we did when we first moved down to the beach!

    1. If I may say so...I hope you'll be walking...or perhaps skipping?..hand-in-hand.

      If your husband balks at skipping, tell him that when my wife and I were married, we did, indeed, skip down the aisle. And I am a former paramilitary, which is a nice way of saying 'mercenary'.

      If I can skip, it's legit. Right?

  3. I am learning that my husband prefers strategy board games--while I prefer word games. So we do a little of both. Neither one of us is very athletic--aside from long walks.

    Yes, play is important! Enjoyed your comment on my blog.

    1. Thanks so much, Carol.

      And long walks can be the stuff of miracles. (I'm terrible at both strategy and word-games...but I can work a mean picture puzzle...)

  4. Love that you are writing about this, Andrew. It's so easy to get bogged down with the pressures of life and the To Do Lists; couples forget about (or put on the back-burner) nurturing their friendship. Rick and I have a standing Friday date night we initiated several years back when we saw that we were not spending much time communicating together. We use it to go to movies, dinner - the obvious things. Many times we play cards, go for a walk, or play miniature golf. Sometimes we just talk. To say that it's helped our marriage would be a big understatement.

    1. Kim, that is a terrific idea...to prioritize date night and keep it on the schedule is really a wonderful thing to do for one another...and for yourselves.

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