"Who are YOU and what did you do with my husband?!"
Does that sound familiar? You can be rubbing along comfortably for years...you think you know the person who's sharing your life and your bed.
Something comes roaring in from left field..usually something unpleasant, or at least unsettling...and the thought arises, unbidden but impossible to squelch -
"Who IS this person?"
If you've lucky, it's just a rogue wave, a blip on the surface of personality, caused by stress or circumstance. Give it time, it'll pass, and it'll never come again.
But sometimes it's a sea change...things are different now. Something happened, and you don't know what...but you have to deal with it.
The temporary aberrations just need patience...they can come from anything from transient body chemistry phenomena (hormones, or illness) to something as banal as a recently-watched film. (For the latter, ladies, consider this...if your husband tends to use bad language, does it seem to get worse after he watches a film with a lot of cursing?)
These things pass, and the best strategy is usually forbearance, with a large dollop of humour.
The big and seemingly long-term changes, though, need a different approach, because they can have serious roots, such as depression, or a serious physical profile. We'll talk about that next week.
Meanwhile, if your marriage has nothing just gone through a Hobbit movie marathon and is contemplating the growth of a beard and the wearing of a wizard's pointy hat...smile.
And be careful not to roll your eyes too far. Remember what Mom said.
They can get stuck that way.
Still writing these on a borrowed Smart Phone, so replies to comments will call be slow...but please do comment!
And we are linked to Wedded Wednesday at www.messymarriage.com.