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Wednesday, March 4, 2015

Someone Like Me {Wedded Wednesday}

Did you really think you were marrying a soulmate..."someone like me"?

Does not quite work out that way. If you're a lady, you married a man. If you're a man, you married a lady.

I hope.

There are differences, right there, that make us as alien from one another as something you might see in a Star Trek outtake.

Here's an example -

"Wow, I'm feeling really sick!"

Male response - "Whoa, dude, sorry to hear that...can I get you something? A beer, maybe?"

Female response - "Oh, I;m really not feeling well either, and everyone in the office has been sick in the past two weeks, they say it's really been hard, and it takes a while to shake off. I know I've been coughing, like, forever."

If a man made the initial statement, the male response would have been welcome...but perhaps the beer might have needed a rain check. The female response, on the other hand, would have sounded like, "Well, you're not so special, everyone's got this thing, and so do I!"

If a woman had said, "I feel awful", the male response would have been an unwelcome "Oh, you're broken, let's fix you!", whereas the female response would have enveloped her in a warm hug of comradeship.

And that is the difference, right there.

Men sympathize, and look for fixes.

Women offer solidarity.

What this means, to you who may be married to a man, or to a woman...I sure hope that ends the list...is that what we offer may not be what our spouse needs.

Because they are different.

How can you learn the differences? I'd say, "Listen to your mate!" but it will seem like he or she is speaking Swahili.

No, this is the place for research. Make a day of it - go to your local bookstore and peruse titles like John Gray's  Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus.

I'm singling our Gray's book because he was the first person to really categorize the emotional differences in gender in a way lay persons could understand.

Let me be honest. In a way I could understand.

And do this together, because there is nothing like the feeling that your mate really wants to get to understand you better.



If you have a moment, please stop by at my other blog, Starting The Day With Grace.

We're linked to 3-D Lessons For Life.

This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information. It's run by Beth Steffaniak, who has a heart for marriage and a soul for God!


2 comments:

  1. Hi Andrew! My first time visiting you and I really enjoyed your post - it made me laugh. This is something my husband and I (me a woman, married to him a man :) ) often talk about - how differently we communicate. How I am SO much more emotional and his compassion quota runs out much quicker. It's the beauty of how God made us and why we (one woman and one man) complement each other so well. Glad I stopped by today!

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    1. I'm so glad you're here! (And glad that as a woman, you are indeed married to a man!)

      I try to liken the differences to light and shadow...we could not appreciate the Grand Canyon if there were no shadow, and at night (I've stood on the edge on a moonless night) it's just a scary abyss.

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