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Thursday, March 19, 2015

Real Death, Real Life {Five Minute Friday / The Weekend Brew}

Time for Five-Minute Friday , hosted by Kate Motaung. The challenge is to write for five minutes on a given "theme word", posted by Kate on Thursday night...and then stop when the timer dings.

Today's word is real.

I've been real sick, so just sitting up is hard. It's also been a week of other, shall we say, shocks.

This is gonna be fun. Not. (And we're also linking to The Weekend Brew.)


GO.

This has been the week of being in a fetal position, in agony, because my pancreas went down hard, and I'm fighting shock. Survival, as of a few days ago, was unlikely. But I am too mean to die.

There are those who pray that I will die. They say it in a nice way...pray for my release, pray for my going to Jesus.

But in point of fact, since I don't want to go, they are praying for me to die, so that they can move on, and so they don't have the stress of seeing a man weaken and fade.

Whatever I can still bring to the game is less important than the emotions they feel.

That's real. Life is not a Hallmark movie, with everyone gathered around the one who's falling back.

Life is a serious and true-action version of a pirate story. Who falls behind is left behind.

And real is learning your failings, too late to change them. Ah, well.

But you know what...there's still Someone in my corner.

He's big.

He's real.

And He's merciless to those who piss him off enough.

Can't think of a Scriptural passage that really brings this out...I know there is one but I'm not well enough to look right now.

So I hope you will accept this bit from the Qu'ran (which I have read)...says the same thing.

"They plotted against you, but God plotted, too.
And God is the best of plotters."

STOP

This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information. It's run by Beth Steffaniak, who has a heart for marriage and a soul for God!

31 comments:

  1. Sorry you have been ill, and that it feels that everyone around you is praying for you to die. I would HOPE that they simply don't want you to be suffering, but we all know you can achieve that here without dying too. When you handed your life over to Christ the part of your soul, the human part, died right there and was over taken by the great Spirit and your life is eternal. Praying that you recover both physically and spiritually.

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    1. Marisa, thank you so much. It's a hard fight, but I'm still here.

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  2. Absolutely - there is someone so beautiful, so awesome, so powerful in your corner. And he's good, and near, and rooting for you to live. I know what it is like to be around someone who is dying, to be desperate for them to live. Daily heartbreak and anxiety. It's an agonizing, helpless place for everyone to be - terrifying to face the realities and know, and accept, that nobody has the power to intervene but God. It's terrifying to face our limits, humbled by a wretched and humanly-incurable illness. We don't all have the courage or strength to face this real. Sounds like you are finding it from somewhere, somehow. Power to you. I value you words, and what you bring of yourself as you can share them each week.

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    1. Ruth, I'm humbled by your reply. Thank you.

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  3. I am praying for you, Andrew... and yes - real is the fact that you are not alone... that Someone real is by your side and paid the price so that you might live! I am praying in agreement, trusting that He who gives you breath and shed His Blood is with you and for you and working in you!

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    1. Thanks, Karrilee...and no, I'm never alone.

      Sometimes I tell Him jokes. I think He laughs.

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  4. Andrew, yes, God is in your corner. He's real, and He's the one who gives you strength to live every day well. Maybe not physically well, but well in the way you choose to live it out. Continuing to pray for you.

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    1. Jeanne, exactly...health is not in the mind, it's not even in the attitude...it's the way you choose to play the hand you're dealt.

      And it's a choice.

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  5. "Whatever I can still bring to the game is less important than the emotions they feel."
    Now there's a real statement. Something for us all to consider. In our effort to avoid our own pain, we can do some serious justifying.

    You're still keeping it real, Andrew. I'm just praying for you and God to keep working this out as y'all have been doing; I certainly don't know what's best for you so I won't tell God what I think he should do....

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    1. Pain hurts; it's scary, and I can understand that some would do almost anything to avoid it.

      I'll be here far longer than anyone will ever predict. I always used to joke that after WW3, there would be only cockroaches, and me.

      Now to make the words mean something.

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  6. Praying for you Andrew!! And God is indeed with you. I am reminded of these words "I will never leave you or forsake you."

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    1. I love those words, Tara. Thank you.

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  7. May you find strength and comfort from knowing so many people are praying for you. As for the Bible verse, this one comes to mind. Do not take revenge, my dear friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” says the Lord. Romans 12:19.

    Sending love, hugs and sloppy wet kisses to you in addition to prayers.

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    1. THAT'S the one I could not think of! Thanks, Michele!

      And give Rommie a hug from all of us.

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  8. I am lifting up prayer for you, Andrew. He is with you always.

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    1. Thanks, Amy.

      Me and God, fighting it out back-to-back, now, surrounded by dead enemies and empty shell casings...that's my image for the day.

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  9. So sorry to hear you are feeling so ill and in so much pain...I knew I had been missing you on the blogs; and our friend from iwillbloom mentioned that very fact the other day when she sent me an e-mail.

    I pray that you will be comforted by His arms and know that He IS in your corner and is there for you. Know you are in the thoughts and prayers of MANY people all over the world!

    We appreciate your sharing your heart and the journey you are on.

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    1. Thank you so much, Barbara. I am trying to maintain at least some presence as I'm able, but I tend to pass out if I sit up too long.

      Nice things about corners...you can't go back. You can only attack.

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  10. Oh Andrew.....won't say anymore about your illness.....other than 'glad you're still here' (which, I realise, sounds awfully - perhaps inappropriately! - trite!).....I find the Qu'ran does express certain things in such a perfectly fitting way...wishing you a night full of strength, from wherever you can muster that. Helen

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    1. Helen, you do not know how much I need to hear those words. Thank you.

      It was a night during which strength was needed, but the sun did rise, and I was standing.

      As I will be, tomorrow.

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  11. Found you on Creekside Ministries, Andrew. I will misquote this scripture-but--
    "A man's days are numbered. You will live until the time HE has set." I believe it is in Job. I have cried out for God to take me--I could not do this any longer and I have faced life threatening health crisis--but the truth remains---I will be here until HE CALLS ME! Praying for you to know His presence in the midst of it all.

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    1. Yes, I think it is in Job...not up to looking for it.

      So true. And we simply have to crack on with life until then. Trying to let go prematurely simply isn't the way the game is played.

      He is here. And thank you for being here, and lending support.

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  12. Thank you so much for coming by and following Being Woven.
    Your words to me have blessed me so, Andrew. You, on the other hand, have the True Caregiver and He is with you always. He holds you near to Him and knows all.
    I lift you up.
    Caring through Christ, ~ linda

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    1. He sure is, Linda...He sure is!

      Thanks for being here.

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  13. I love the fight in you and I love that you know God is still fighting for you! I am praying!

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    1. Thank you for the prayers...I do feel them.

      I try to keep Tennyson's words, from the end of "Ulysses", in mind -

      "To strive, to seek, to find...
      ...and not to yield."

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  14. Praying for your continued life. Hang in there!

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    1. Still here, Paul. Intending to stay!

      Thanks...

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  15. Praying for Him to keep whispering, 'peace, be still' to your heart. And strength to be given to your body and mind.

    Keep on writing, friend. It is your lifeline, it is our blessing to be here with you.

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    1. Linda, thank you for the lovely prayer.

      I will keep writing. I want to help people have better and more fulfilled lives and marriages, if I can. It's the best legacy I can leave, one of happy, ordinary lives lived in joy and peace.

      It's what I fought for.

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    2. Linda, thank you for the lovely prayer.

      I will keep writing. I want to help people have better and more fulfilled lives and marriages, if I can. It's the best legacy I can leave, one of happy, ordinary lives lived in joy and peace.

      It's what I fought for.

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