Up on the housetop reindeer pause,
oh, dear God, it's Santa Claus
in an overloaded sleigh with runners bowed,
he's exceeded our roof's maximum load.
Ho, ho, ho, there the rafters go!
Ho, ho, ho, look out below!
Down through each story, quick, quick, quick,
and into the basement goes Good Saint Nick!
And it gets worse.
Jolly Old Jack Nicklaus,
we know you came to play,
and we're sure you will not go
make even one bo-gay!
Masters time is coming soon,
so you badass man,
send the Young Turks to the moon
when you kick them in the can.
More ice cream for Sylvia, hearing these.