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Thursday, January 7, 2021

Fragility of Time

 I knew things would get fragile. I just didn't want to admit it, but those days are here.

Sleep is rare, and breathing is hard, with an uncommaned 'follow-up' to every cough that tastes just rancid.

And the coughs center from a tumour that is poking through the ribcage. That may not be a good sign.

Sometimes I have one of the dogs out or a walk, look back to the house...every direction seems uphill...and wonder how I can ever get back.

I wish there were someone here, some beast of a dude around whose shoulder I could put my arm, and accept some help. (Yes, Barb's a beast...one of her nicknames is Critter, but in a good way, and if she's reading this, I'm probably dead.)

And these days are so precious, so full of colour and life and meaning and value.

I don't want to go home to Jesus, not just yet. I want to stay for as long a I can, and live, now that I've truly learned how.

This bright and fragile run of days

cannot last; I ken that now,

but this is not news that dismays,

for in the gloaming I’ve learned how

to cherish what I love the best,

pay meet obeisance to the friends

who’ve walked beside me through this test,

and hold my heart, that at the end

I can still gaze Heavenward,

salute a God I cannot see,

but beyond death’s river-ford

I know He stands and waits for me,

one hand set to dry last tear,

and in the other, ice-cold beer.


Music from the Electric Light Orchestra, with Livin' Thing, performed live at Wembley Stadium on June 24, 2017 (which happens to be Barbara's birthday, and the anniversary of our second marriage. (Click here if the video doesn't come up.)

In watching the video, please do pay attention to the shots of the audience, how the song's appeal really covers all ages. It's enchanting.


Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.










51 comments:

  1. ah, but it's hard, once you've truly learned to live, to realize that now you might have to stop. God's graciousness in allowing us to truly learn this lesson. My prayers continue for you, that in your last days, you will remember how to truly live. :)

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    1. Annette, you said this perfectly; it is so very hard. Thank you so much for this, and for your prayers.

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  2. Once you have learnt to live - a thing many never do learn, be blessed. xx

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    1. Fiona, learning to live has been a hard road...but I'm glad to be on it. xx right back!

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  3. (((((Andrew))))

    Annie in Texas

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  4. Andrew, I am so glad you are still here. In you learning how to truly live, we all get to also learn from you - for that, I am most grateful.

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    1. Joanne, I'm honoured by your kind wors...and I'm glad I'm still here, too.

      It's a hard life now, but one even more worth the living.

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    1. Loretta, thank you. Today, a hug is really, really needed. I feel awful.

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  6. grateful that living doesn't end for those in Christ, only the location changes. thank Barb for the word suggestion, it was a good one to ponder.

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    1. Mariel, I love this...only the location changes!

      I'll pass on your thanks to Barb. She was really honoured that her suggestion was accepted.

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  7. Amen Andrew. Continued thoughts and prayers for you and Barb. Blessings my friend.
    Visiting from FMF#15

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    1. Paula, thank you so much! The prayers are needed. Last few days have been dreadful for me to live, and for Barb to see.

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  8. "I don't want to go home to Jesus, not just yet. I want to stay for as long a I can, and live, now that I've truly learned how." How can I get you one of these amazing German beers we discovered. Andrew, listen to me. Just in case Jesus calls you and gets you home - Hang out at the little white tiny house on the Crystal Sea - it's my mansion - we can meet and greet. It's the one with yellow roses planted on each side of front door. Window boxes abloom also. And, our little Sam is waiting on the front porch. xoxo

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    1. Susan, I'll be there. And your mention of Sam choken me up, truly.

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  9. May God continue to sustain you, Andrew.

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    1. Anita, He is keeping up His end of the deal in sustaining me. It is hard, but so far, so good.

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  10. You know that God will see you safely home at just the right time; until then, may your days be bright with His blessings and your nights be warm with His love.

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    1. Sue, yes...He will see me home at the right time.

      Thank you so much for this!

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  11. Thank you for all that you are teaching us by being so open in your sharing at this time! Prayers for God's comfort and strength to you both.

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    1. Sharon, thank you for this kind and gracious comment, and for your prayers.

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  12. GM, Andrew. It's always good to read your posts.It is also good that suffering is not in vain. You have used it to see more than you used to see, to become more alive in areas you can't see, to encourage others through your blog commenting, and who knows what else. You make lemonade out of lemons. It's a beautiful grace. We're always reaching higher. That's part of being alive and being interested in that life. Life itself is a simple grace. I'm glad you persevere. I'm still praying for you.

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    1. My dear Norma, the suffering is hard, but it's indeed not in vain. Even when the purpose seem kind of far away and dim, I know it's there.

      And I've always liked lemonade.

      I'm so grateful for your prayers!

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  13. Awww, Andrew. Your words here are so good. You have truly chosen to use time well. Perhaps not always, but in these years I've known you, I've seen the good changes. The gut-level honesty, the depth in your words as you navigate this more than difficult test. I've lost track of the number of times your words have encouraged, made me think, drawn forth a chortle, or shifted my perspective. I'm thankful for the gift of your friendship, and I continue to pray for you and Barb.

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    1. Jeanne, my dear, dear friend...I am so honoured by your words, your prayers, and your stalwart frienship.

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  14. In every moment of your days, you continue to bless us, dear friend. I am forever changed because we have connected through our writing. You are being surrounded in love.
    Karen :)

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    1. Karen, wow...your words bless me past anything I can say.

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  15. Andrew, so good to hear from you in the new year. I keep you in my prayers as you travel this rough road. You have been an inspiration to me as I see how you are facing this difficult time with a smile through your suffering. Keep hanging in there brother.

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    1. Duane, I so appreciate your being here...I'm sorry I have not yet gotten back to FMF for your post, but will try. You always lit my heart.

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  16. Your words bless me everytime Andrew. I'm grateful to have discovered your blog. Sending you hugs and prayers x

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    1. Wemi, likewise...you are a blessing in my life.

      Thank you so much for the hugs and prayers. They're needed.

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  17. praying for you guys right now ...

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  18. The title says it all! We all need reminded of how precious our minutes here are and how fleeting! Hallelujah that we have a better place waiting for us where we won’t have to watch the clock!

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    1. Cindy, I love what you said..."we have a better place waiting for us where we won't have to watch the clock!" Perfect!

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  19. My heart goes out to you in your struggle. Praying for peace today & always!!

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    1. Barb, thank you for this, and most especially for your prayers.

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  20. Andrew, it IS sad, when we finally do it right, learn the lesson, win the fight, He snatches us up and out of sight!! Doesn't seem right! You had me in tears right up till the last line. Then I broke into laughter! It is good to laugh. I truly believe the verse, the joy of the Lors is our strength"! Hey you're gonna be here a while with your sense of humor! Seriously, I pray for you regularly (like every day) and all your critters too.

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    1. Mary, thank you so much for this...and for sharing your laughter! I sure hope I'll be around awhile yet. last two nights idn't look so good, but it's not over yet.

      We and the critters treasure your prayer, and as a hint, the word 'critter' will play a big role in what I post tonight!

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  21. Today I pray that you and Barbara and your dogs have a moment to sit and watch the sunset. May you experience the complete and utter peace of silence, as God paints across the sky. You are beloved, brother.

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    1. Marie, thank you so much for this...we have watched several sunsets lately, and it's a blessing.

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  22. This is truly amazing Andrew, every word punctuated with the truth of our lives and the gravity of time's brevity - thank you for your sense of humour, your poem reflecting honesty as well as the comfort and reassurance from the Father -- thank you so much for your words -- from your neighbour at FMF - Liz @ Heaven4thehome

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    1. Liz, I'm honoured by your kind and gracious words...thank you so much!

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  23. Andrew--you are much loved and appreciated.

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  24. I truly believe that when that day comes--meeting Christ face-to-face--Andrew, you will be more than ready to shed any concerns or desires you have for this old, broken earth. That's what my quiet time was on today--focusing on Christ and living for Him until that day in heaven.

    But I'm also cheering you on in the fight for every breath so that you continue to grace us with your wit and wisdom here. You are needed and perhaps that's what will keep you going until that final day. Hugs and prayers, my friend!

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    1. Beth, I strongly suspect you're right, that on meeting Christ all the eartly bonds will simply fade away in a kind of gloious sparkly light.

      In the meantime, though, thank you so much for the hugs and prayers and encouragement. These have been some rough days, and they're needed.

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  25. I think about you all the time and continue to pray for you. Love, Shelli

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    1. Shelli, thank you...this means a great deal to me. Love back!

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