I knew things would get fragile. I just didn't want to admit it, but those days are here.
Sleep is rare, and breathing is hard, with an uncommaned 'follow-up' to every cough that tastes just rancid.
And the coughs center from a tumour that is poking through the ribcage. That may not be a good sign.
Sometimes I have one of the dogs out or a walk, look back to the house...every direction seems uphill...and wonder how I can ever get back.
I wish there were someone here, some beast of a dude around whose shoulder I could put my arm, and accept some help. (Yes, Barb's a beast...one of her nicknames is Critter, but in a good way, and if she's reading this, I'm probably dead.)
And these days are so precious, so full of colour and life and meaning and value.
I don't want to go home to Jesus, not just yet. I want to stay for as long a I can, and live, now that I've truly learned how.
This bright and fragile run of days
cannot last; I ken that now,
but this is not news that dismays,
for in the gloaming I’ve learned how
to cherish what I love the best,
pay meet obeisance to the friends
who’ve walked beside me through this test,
and hold my heart, that at the end
I can still gaze Heavenward,
salute a God I cannot see,
but beyond death’s river-ford
I know He stands and waits for me,
one hand set to dry last tear,
and in the other, ice-cold beer.
Music from the Electric Light Orchestra, with Livin' Thing, performed live at Wembley Stadium on June 24, 2017 (which happens to be Barbara's birthday, and the anniversary of our second marriage. (Click here if the video doesn't come up.)
In watching the video, please do pay attention to the shots of the audience, how the song's appeal really covers all ages. It's enchanting.