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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

Does This Make Me Look Fat?

Ladies, this is a post you might want your husbands to read. Men can be pretty perceptive, but this is one area in which they tend to be clueless.

The question - "Honey, does this make me look fat?"

When a typical man hears this, a number of things run through his mind (no jokes about there being lots of room in there, please)

  • Don't you know how to use a mirror?
  • You've put on weight, so anything makes you look...well...
  • We're not in our twenties any more, so why does it really matter?
And so on, until he gets distr...oh, look, squirrel!

There is only one correct answer:


But why? Why does it matter if a particular garment makes your wife look fat?

And wouldn't she have seen that when she bought it, looking in the store's triple-mirrors?

Wouldn't she have felt it? (Though when men feel their belly drooping over their belt, they figure...wow, my pants must have shrunk, and so did my belt.)

The answer is, of course she looked at the outfit in the mirror.

Of course she cataloged, mentally, how it felt.

Of course she knows how much she weighs. If she's a size 1, she knows it. If she's a 16, believe me, she knows that, too.

None of this matters, guys.

Your opinion does.

Fat is a word that, in our society, is synonymous with unattractive.

What your wife is asking is - "Do you still find me attractive? Do I make your heart beat faster? Do you want to hold me, kiss me, love me?"

"Do you still want me?"

This is a plea. This is a question that's born in an insecurity, and grown in a hothouse of fear, one that our society, with its anorexic eighteen-year-old swimsuit models, profits in perpetuating.

"Do you still want me?"

Will you pass up your secretary, will you leave the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Issue on the newsstand shelf, will you stay away from 'those' websites...

Can I still hold you?

"Do you still want me?"

For any real man, there is only one answer.

"No. You look great!"

This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information.


  1. This is so good, Andrew ... and SO funny too! Who knew that you had such an amazing sense of humor!? I love it and will be sharing this on FB and Twitter. You're right, this is a post that every man should read! :) Well, and every woman should "enjoy" because she will resonate with your insight into our feminine fears.

    1. Beth, thank you! I really appreciate the kind words, and the shares.

  2. Black is slimming! :) Good post, Andrew. The triple mirror comment made me chuckle!

    1. Yes, but they say orange is the new black...

  3. "What your wife is asking is - "Do you still find me attractive? Do I make your heart beat faster? Do you want to hold me, kiss me, love me? Do you still want me?"

    Yikes. You're reading our minds, Andrew. :) Love this. Very insightful of you.

    1. It goes on in men's minds, too, Lisa.

      But most men can't find a way to express the longing.