Marriage and Loyalty

We live in an age of whistleblowers. The work of some is valid. The work of most is, frankly, "look at ME" dressed in clothes of attempted respectability.

Loyalty seems to have gone right out the window. It's obsolete, like the Edsel. Now each individual is a cause unto him-or-herself.

So how does this relate to marriage?

Quite directly. How many times have you heard someone complaining about their marriage, or running down their spouse to gain sympathy or (worse) for humorous effect?

(I'm not talking about speaking in confidence with a counselor, or with a trusted friend. There are things we have to share, there are parts of a marriage we have to lay out to see if we're reading it right.)

No, this refers to the "morning coffee complaint department", or the "gym counseling sessions". This is a general airing of discontent in front of an audience that will not hear the other side - and doesn't want to.

A polite term for this is character assassination. Slamming the character of a person who has no way to answer the charges.

It has no place in a marriage.

In marriage, we make vows. "For better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health".

Not, "until I feel like complaining to my buds".

Oh...and it ends, "So help me, God."

This is called being locked in. You're locked in by your own choice. You owe allegiance. It's no longer a choice. Allegiance is a duty before God.

You owe it to your spouse to speak well of him or her in public and in private. You owe it to your mate to stand against any accusations or criticism - even if the accusations are true, or the criticisms justified.

You owe your spouse your full and undivided loyalty, and your full and unstinting support.

Even if their failings are an itch you desperately want to scratch by airing them.

You promised.