Today's word is HOPE.
Weirdly, I had a feeling this would be the word, because of an aphorism that's been running through my head.
Una salus victus nullam sperare salutem.
In other words...English ones...this means "the only hope of the vanquished is to abandon all hope of safety, for only in abandoning hope can one possibly find the courage to fight through and win.
It sounds better in Latin.
It sounds kind of nihilistic and rather ruthless...ruthless it is, but nihilistic it's not, because when faced with a desperate and bleak future, there is only one way forward.
That way is the complete abrogation of the temporal 'safe haven' that we all hold in our hearts, the 'happily ever after in comfort and rest' that is so beloved of greeting-card sellers and the makers of romantic comedies. (Note that it's NOT a denial of ultimate safety in Christ...I'm talking about living in the world, here.)
When they say you're dying, and it's just going to get more painful and more difficult, you've basically got two choices. Sink into an increasingly drugged lassitude, or force every step, every action through a wall of pain.
The first way, days turn into weeks when you don't accomplish much, bit you're comfortable. More or less.
The second way, every moment is bright and jagged with pain and fatigue, and everything you do is memorable for all the wrong reasons, that for me involve spitting up blood.
But along with the memory you'd rather not revisit, you've done something. At the end of the day, something's been created or improved or whatever, that wasn't done that morning.
For me, it's the dream of writing. I have a lot to say, I think, or at least a lot that I want to say, but the very act of typing hurts...not to mention trying to sit upright at the keyboard. And occasionally have to clean blood off the thing. I have spare keyboards, and usually let Barb clean the bloody ones.
I can;t do much. I pass out every so often, and have to try to figure out just where I was, and didn't I kill off that character in the last chapter?
But we're a few more words to the good every day.
Is it futile? Am I living a pattern that implicitly assumes a future I very likely won't see?
Sure, probably, but so what?
I'm here NOW, and that future is made manifest as part of my present.
And in this present, today, literally bloody and literally reeling...
We're linked with Messy Marriage's Wedded Wednesday...please click the link to see some really good thoughts on marriage!