We've been through the Critical Eye, Wrong Expectations, Negative Friends, and Unhealed Hurts over the last four Wednesdays.
Now...let's talk about Bad Time Management.
Marriage is all about time. It's about building and nurturing a relationship with that one special person while we're trying to make a living, maintain a household, and grow a family.
It was so much easier during courtship! We pushed everything else aside. Well, I did.
But while an employer may put up for a while with an inefficient and starry-eyed worker who's deeply in love, that forbearance usually starts to dry up after you get back from the honeymoon.
Likewise, creditors, unreasonably, still want to be paid.
So married life takes its place in the conga line. You do what you can together when you can...oh, wait, it's Super Bowl Weekend...we'll do some stuff together next weekend, right?
Oh, you're going to the antique fair?
Well, another time.
And I haven't even mentioned kids. Or in-laws.
Fortunately, time management in marriage is pretty straightforward.
Your spouse comes first. period. Full stop.
That means that unless you're bleeding out, if your husband needs to talk to you about a bad day, you can't defer him. Not even to watch Downton Abbey.
And if your wife really wants to clean the gutters before the autumn rains come, that's where you're obligated to be. Even if the World Series is on.
Our society idolizes children, and they are certainly important, but they will not be there for you forever. Your spouse will.
Cleave unto him (or her),
Your in-laws may say the blood comes first. Well, sure. "One flesh" includes veins, rights? And there's blood in veins, eh?
Your spouse comes first. That is the essential time management of marriage.
You've got to give that time with a generous heart, not begrudging the TV shows you missed. You have to trust your mate not to deliberately try to interfere with something you enjoy.
If he or she needs you...you're needed. And you promised.
Easy to say...but how do you live it?
There's no simple, bulleted list to follow here. There's no set of exercises.
This is something that has to be a gift. It's a gift that you promised in the months leading up to the wedding, and you formalized it before God, community, family, and your spouse.
The one thing you can do is hand on the time, with a smile. Liten with your whole heart, and help with a committed soul.
This post is linked to Wedded Wednesday, a compendium of really cool posts on marriage. If you click on the logo below, you'll be taken to www.messymarriage.com, which is the springboard to a wealth of information.