To be honest, I'm to the point where I can't, either. The old moto sayings like, "I'm tougher than any hurt!" ring really hollow now, and the fallback of the metaphorical shrug which says, "Well, what choice is there?" is essentially meaningless.
And yes, were it possible I'd turn to narcotics to dull this. But it's not a financial possibility, and neither is it a good choice from an overall health standpoint. (First, narcotics famously slow down digestion, which is the last hing I need, and second, PTSD and oxycodone, etc., really don't mix.)
The only answer I can see is a simple one: I make it through from one minute to the next through God's Grace.
It took awhile, but I realized that God made the world round so we couldn't see too far ahead. When I try to imagine the increase in pain and discomfort (and humiliation), it's daunting and discouraging beyond belief...but the point is that projecting forward like that is stupid.
That part of the road will come, and all I can see of it is a mirage, fixed by the lenses of imagination and fear.
Today is all I have. The horizon is a lot closer; I just need to get there.
And what of Glory? In Christian practice, our lives are supposed to glorify God...that is, to be a witness to His absolute Wisdom and Mercy.
How can pain do that? Sure, endurance may be impressive, but it's a reach to call suffering a 'glorification'. It comes a bit too close to the old shibboleth that 'suffering is good for the soul'.
But there is glorification to be exercised, and it's how we approach each day.
It's in the encouragement we give others, because we believe that God cares, and is weeping for us in our trials.
It's in the hopes and dreams we nurture through the really bad days, not so much in the expectation that they'll be met and fulfilled, but that they are literally God-given, and that they mean something in the larger scheme of the relationship between Him and me...and that they can be an inspiration to others.
It's my willingness to walk in the world for God, and for His Values.
He didn't promise me a rose garden; the fate of His Son and those who immediately followed Him puts paid to that idea quite quickly.
He promised us a Cross.
And, if we chose to carry it to our own private Calvaries, eternal life.
A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.