I was going to write something elegaic, but circumstance forces another thing. You may not much like it, dear reader, but I earnestly hope you understand.
Unbelievable bad now, tumour the size of a billiard ball in the navel, hooking onto something bigger underneath, and I have to think through the act of swallowing. Try it. You won't like it.
It's not over yet.
Feels kinda like I'm losing it,
like the walls are caving in,
but know this, mate, I'll never quit
even though I'll never win.
There is a special sort of grace
in watching oneself die,
and I don't ask, "God shield my face!"
I'm not that kind of guy.
Instead, the heavy-metal roar
and the same shouted refrain:
"F*** you, death, I'm back for more,
so come on, bring the bastard pain
you think will see me gone for good,
but for my soul, it's only food."
Music from Graffiti Ghosts, with This Is What I Live For.
Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.
Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.
Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
adjective Also el·e·gi·a·cal.
ReplyDeleteused in, suitable for, or resembling an elegy.
expressing sorrow or lamentation:
elegiac strains.
Classical Prosody. noting a distich or couplet the first line of which is a dactylic hexameter and the second a pentameter, or a verse differing from the hexameter by suppression of the arsis or metrically unaccented part of the third and the sixth foot
Had to go to dictionary.com to learn the new word (to me) word you used in the intro today. Got it now! I hope you have a day that is less filled with billiard ball tumor and more filled with hope in Him.
Blessings amidst the pain,
Jennifer
I adore your comment.
DeleteYes, I am with Jennifer. I went to dictionary.com to learn a new word today. I did not know I could have scrolled down and read the comments. Andrew, your determination inspires me. I am praying for you and Barb. -Jolene
DeleteJennifer, Susan and Jolene...wow...thank you so much! (And please forgive the late reply; we're still dealing with the flu along with everything else.)
DeleteAndrew, I am so sorry for your pain. May God somehow bless you in the midst of it with relief. Praying for you this morning.
ReplyDeleteJoanne, thank you so very much for your kindess and your prayers, and please excuse my late reply.
Delete"I"'ll never quit even though I'll never win." Prompts me to send you my poem. Praying for you Andrew. Hang on, my friend. Let the branch break, don't you break! https://mehflowers.wordpress.com/2019/12/02/to-lose-is-the-greater-gain/
ReplyDeleteMary, thank you for this. The poem is so strong, and so beautiful! (And please pardon my delay in replying.)
DeleteI'm going to give you grace for the F bomb - I understand you and B have had the flu on top of everything else. I am ever so sorry. Jennifer Cook's comment was fantabulous.
ReplyDeleteSusan, I appreciate this. It's been so harshly bad, and I am so grateful that you are here (and apologise for the late reply).
DeleteYes, I missed the group too!
ReplyDeleteFiona, it's such a wonderful community, and I am so honoured to have met you there! (And please pardon my late reply.)
DeleteI love your perseverance and determination. Praying for you. I'm glad FMF is back too!
ReplyDeleteLesley, thak you so much!!!! (And please pardon my tardy reply.)
Deletevisiting via FMF #25, the battle cry of a warrior!
ReplyDeleteAnnette, thank you so much!
DeleteYou gave me goosebumps. Praying for you. FMF #22
ReplyDeleteGoosebumps? Golly! Thank you for letting me know, and please pardon my delay in replying.
DeleteI’ve missed you and all the FMF crew! Continually praying!
ReplyDeleteMissed you too, dear sweet Tara, and I am so glad you're here, and so grateful for your prayers.
DeleteSometimes you don't know what to say so I'll just say keeping you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteDuane, that is exactly the right thing to say. (And please excuse my delayed reply.)
DeleteIt's strange that some words are considered "bad" while others with the same literal meaning are socially acceptable.
ReplyDeleteOf course I'll be praying for you, as always.
Jan, you're so right. Thank you so much for being here, and for your prayers...and please pardon my late reply.
DeleteI find it hard to know what to say anymore. Wish I had a good joke to tell. But, oh well. Fighting the big C is not for wimps. You do it admirably. Hoping your week is better than last week. Blessings to all. Still praying.
ReplyDeleteMy dear Norma, thank you or this...and truly, even a really bad joke is welcome!
DeleteHere's one...how did Jesus keep track of His followers?
He used an evangelist.
Geddit? Evangel - LIST????
Yeah, awful.
I chuckled! Good job!!!
Delete(((((Andrew)))))
ReplyDelete(((((Barbara)))))
Annie in Texas
((((((Annie!))))))
DeleteThank you so much for being here. We love you.
F you death is right... Hope you two have improved, from the Flu... As for this... God is mighty, and that has to be worth everything. You, friend, are a warrior!
ReplyDeleteMisty, thank you for this. Barb's flu is improving (though my fever's spiking again, as I write this).
DeleteGod is, indeed, mighty. I kinda like Him, too.
I, for one, am glad that you keep on fighting and staring death in the face, Andrew! You are one amazing guy! Thank you for continuing to share your painful journey. Though it may seem bleak, unrelenting and crass, it is what it is! You offer us a glimpse into it each week and we will not back away from looking at it either. For there is too much we learn from your grace under fire to do anything else!
ReplyDeleteBeth, I am SO HONOURED by your words.
DeleteI won't quit. I can't.
Andrew, your determination to not give up, and especially to not give into the despair of death inspires me. I've said before (and probably will again) that I wish I could make the pain go away. I know you know where your ultimate hope lies. And you know the enemy is temporal. As you fight the good fight, may your eyes be fixed on the author and perfector of your faith. May your heart beat ever stronger for Him. And may you know the comfort of His presence as you walk through this horrible hard.
ReplyDeleteI'm praying for you and Barb, friend.
Jeanne, thank you for this. It is indeed a horrible hard (especially today), but my eyes are on Jesus, not for the 'homecoming' but for the strength.
DeleteI'll fight this bastard pain unto the end. For God, for Country, and for the sheer hell of it.
I value your raw and gritty prayers and poems that we are privileged to eavesdrop upon...your commitment to God and the exquisite gift of your voice draws me deeper into the Light of His Love. I always savor your writing. Thanks for being you and bringing your God-glorifying self to these gatherings of living words and living Epistles ��
ReplyDelete