I was always an avid reader, and now, with shelves bowing under the weight of accumulated books...
...it's getting really hard to stay focused on anything I read. I'll pick up a book, read a few chapters, then put it down and start another. Too often I forget what I was reading. I just can't connect with a story any more.
I don't know if it's cancer, or the result of too many recent high fevers...or maybe I've changed.
Writing's harder, too. I bet you can tell.
Whatever. Life is still good, there's lots to do, and I don't mourn a vanished past.
I'm putting this out there for anyone who may see this in a loved one, or see it in themselves.
Change, and a feeling of loss that might be related to it, are not to be hated. They may be uncomfortable, may be frustrating, but in the end, God's in control. Maybe He's doing this for a reason.
Maybe He wants you to put aside others' stories, so He can tell you your own.
I drew such inspiration
from all the tales of derring-do,
and in part became creation
of the stories I lived through,
but now the words don't resonate,
falling empty at my feet,
and I am forced to contemplate
that what I thought made me complete
was a step upon a road
that leads...I don't know where!
The principles that were a goad
have vanished into crystal air,
leaving me to understand
that it's time to take God's hand.
The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is STORE.
Always loved the bookstore,
Barnes and Noble, Borders too
(and when the latter shut its door,
I was really, really blue).
There's something 'bout the smell of books
that nothing else can truly reach;
it might be the domain of cooks,
a recipe no-one can teach.
But all that is now nearly gone,
BN has more knick-knacky stuff.
Books now come from Amazon,
but somehow that's not quite enough
to re-create a lovely past
that was just too good to last.
Three minutes, and it kinda hurt to go there.
Music from Enya, with (well, why not) Book Of Days
Sylvia says there are only two words worth reading.
Ice.
Cream.
Wow, sweetie. The greatest stories out there to God are our own story that draws us near to His voice. One Day we'll see how each has journeyed and is known by Him. - Barbara
ReplyDeleteYou're so right, Dear Heart. Thank you for this.
DeleteI agree, Andrew, He does pull us aside to focus on His Story in us more than other's stories around us.
ReplyDeleteI also find that in seasons where I struggle to concentrate on written words, audiobooks come in handy. I just finished With Lee in Virginia by G.A. Henty and the New Testament NASB, and both were great listens.
It is hard to see changes in our abilities--but you are right to take God's hand. He is always leading us, teaching us.
ReplyDeleteAs to books, my favorite place is the public library. We are blessed to have a great library nearby.
There’s something precious about being taken into the secret place with Christ. It possibly looks a bit like a desert parched from this side of heaven. But to delight in what He wants you to know of Him and the stories only He can write, is holy ground!
ReplyDeleteBless you, Andrew and your beautiful wife too. Merry Christmas blessings.
I struggled a lot with writing and finding my voice until recently God said, "People don't need to hear your voice. They need to hear Mine. Changes everything!!!! Love you Andrew!
ReplyDeleteOh yes, Mary here
ReplyDeleteMerry Christmas, Andrew, Barb, and all the gang. Thank you for your faithfulness, creativity, and drive in blogging. Your impact is untold. May His peace continue to be yours especially in the times when pain threatens to define you. You are a warrior ... of the best kind.
ReplyDeleteMemories of books read, languages learned, talents honed, and a million useless facts gradually fade from view as we age, as we hurt, as we creep toward the door of eternal life. In eternity, as we go "further up and further in" ( as Lewis said), we will meet the Word made flesh, speak in heavenly tongues, and be perfected yet ever amazed by the glories of our Lord and His new creation! Thank You, Lord Jesus!
ReplyDeleteLoved "Maybe He wants you to put aside others' stories, so He can tell you your own." I think I'm ready to take His hand.
ReplyDeleteThanks for sharing this beautiful thought.
I've only been privileged to see your story very recently, but it's such a good one! You're a blessing to all of us in the FMF community, for certain. May you and Barb have a blessed Christmas. Love and prayers!
ReplyDeleteOnline book stores and book groups are great, and much more efficient but there is something missing, a sense of aw, and space, and magic. I hope you and Barb (and the dogs) have a special Christmas.
ReplyDeleteI haven't noticed any deterioration in your writing, Andrew, your words and poems are amazing as you tell the story that is your own - you and Barb, and the animals and you and your creator and Saviour. Thank you for sharing your story with us. Wishing you all a warm and love-filled Christmas time.
ReplyDeleteI suppose the fact that you can't follow a story has a flip side... Perhaps it means all stories are new? I would find that frustrating as a good story is immensely satisfying. But write your own as long as you can eh? FMF12
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