My New Year's Resolution was to be honest, and sometimes honest is ugly.
There is now nowhere to turn
where I might hide safe and escape
the fevers that do daily burn
the days that I have left, and shape
me into something I detest,
a whining hypochondriac fool
who takes up worst to shame the best,
and ransoms hope for ridicule.
Lord, please set me on my feet
once more that I may yet remain
something that is still complete,
and someone who can bear the pain
as I once did, and bear it still
in honour of Your holy will.
When I say that I am beat,
when I whine "This isn't fair!"
that's the thing that sets my feet
on the journey to despair.
When I dwell on what I've lost,
all the cool stuff I can't do,
it's thinking that bears a cost
that will poison and run through
the life that yet to me remains,
toss the blessings to the floor,
make naught of the small gains,
and quite firmly shut the door
in God's disappointed face
when He comes to offer grace.
Syl's worried. I'm not the Dad she knew.
Andrew you are right, where you will be Sylvia already knows the You, You are yet to Met.❤️
ReplyDeleteGuess who?
Hmmmm Yep the wife
It must be overwhelming to hold hope through your long-term suffering. My husband also suffers multiple afflictions. It seems like one thing after another! I'm praying for you, Andrew. And I don't believe God is disappointed when we hurt too much to feel gratitude. He is compassionate. He understands your pain.
ReplyDeleteThis is honest, and it hurts to know that you are struggling. I pray that as you journey through the dark days and nights a ray of hope will flare.
ReplyDeleteMay God undergird you on this difficult journey! G
ReplyDeleteThis journey is a hard and painful one, and I'm so sorry. Praying for you.
ReplyDeleteIt's been a long time since I participated in the Five Minute Friday link-up, and Andrew, I am so sorry you are still suffering. Cancer is a horrible beast. I pray that you get relief.
ReplyDelete