Tuesday, April 18, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 299 - SERIOUSLY? My PROSTATE. Too???

It's one of those you've GOT to be kidding moments.

With everything else, my prostate's acting up. As if dying weren't enough, now I have to go a-dribblin' to the grave. (Hang on, guys, this is both kind of clinical, and dead serious.)

Sheesh.

The symptoms are there. Needing to pee yet being unable to finish, slow cutoff of 'the stream', and excess dribbling (that word again!). About the only one I'm missing is an impaired romantic life, but I'm so far past being able to worry about that, it's almost funny. Almost.

The main issue...pardon the pun...is that I have to use the facilities at odd times, and in an odd way. I'm used to standing, and getting it done.

But standing for any period hurts too much to be possible, so...wait for it, ladies, here's your revenge...I have to sit.

And wait. And wait.

But sometimes that isn't enough, so the next step is...let's all shout it together...EXTERNAL PROSTATE MASSAGE!

It's not fun when you're healthy, but I run out of energy all too quick, and..."Uh, Barb?"

No pre-nuptial counselor ever mentioned this.

Barb's a trouper, and that's good., because worse is to come.

Yep. Internal prostate massage.

Bring a rubber glove. An enema helps.

Funny thing. Humiliation isn't half as humiliating when you can laugh about it.

A fitting musical accompaniment might be CCR's Who'll Stop The Rain? Along with a turned-on tap, it may help.


We're linked with Messy Marriage's From Messes To Messages - please drop by for some really great marriage resources.

And...messes? Sheesh.


A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.


I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!

And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.















3 comments:

  1. Aww, I'm so sorry that you have to face yet another challenge--humiliating challenge to boot, Andrew! But my hubby and I have had similar embarrassing moments that we've helped each other with and, at least from my perspective, it wasn't a trouble at all. In fact, I was glad to help my hubby in some of these embarrassing moments. Still, I am so sorry that you must face the indignities of illness. You and Barbara are always in my thoughts and prayers!

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  2. Oh, and Creedence Clearwater is one of my hubby's favorite bands from his youth as well! ;-) Thanks for sharing!

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  3. Andrew, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this too, on top of everything else. You are so fortunate to have such a support in Barb. What you shared about humiliation is good. When we can laugh at ourselves, we can choose not to see ourselves as humiliated. Good thought, my friend.

    I continue to pray for you, Barb and the dogs!

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