The Virtue Of Self-Pity

Yeah, that's an odd title. (And no, that's not Honey feeling sorry for herself. That's Honey stealing my bed.)

To most, self-pity is a culturally defined weakness, something to be held in contempt.

But is it?

If you can't genuinely feel sorry for yourself when you're facing hard trials, can you feel for anyone else?

Obviously, an excess of self-care is wrong, but, in this life, so is an excess of ANY virtue.

Does killing self-pity also devalue empathy and sympathy? Will you become like the centurion Rufus that Tacitus famously described, 'all the more relentless because he had endured it himself '? (BTW, Rufus did get his comeuppance, a blanket party given by his men, in which they put a blanket over his head - so he couldn't see who was there - and beat the tar out of him.)

I think the question is valid, mainly because...this is me. I cope with an increasingly painful and tiring situation by saying that it's mind over matter.

I don't mind, and it don't matter.

And, for me, it works. I've callused my own heart, and get through each day, doing what I still can, in good and upbeat style.

But someone pays the price...Barb, because if I don't really care about myself, how can she care about me without feeling foolish...and how can she trust my sympathy for her?

I need to change, but don't know how. And maybe more tellingly, I'm afraid I might not like what I become.

They will tell you it's a sin

if you go and pity you,

but it's somewhere to begin 

to learn to pity others, too.

Being hard has much allure 

to men who went through life like me,

but it cannot be a cure,

and indeed blocks sympathy 

for those who've been less fortunate,

and are perhaps more sensitive,

so don't let your heart denigrate 

who they are or how they live,

for the pride in your stiff back

only highlights what you lack.

As further food for thought, here's a clip from The Fellowship Of The Ring

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is COVER. Can I cover that subject? We'll see.

Cover is as cover does,

it keeps you safe from harm.

Though you hear the bullets buzz,

you need feel no alarm,

for they cannot get to you,

on their single-minded path.

Knowing that this is quite true,

you can stop to laugh,

but not too long, so have a care

that the little folk are banking

on your being unaware 

that they might be flanking,

and in your mind this thought might lurk,

'Shoulda found another line of work!'

Three minutes flat. Experience matters.

Sylvia thinks anyone who isn't her

 SHOULD feel sorry for themselves.