Thursday, November 9, 2023

Staying Close To God



 As the whole cancer thing gets way worse (major setback in the last couple of weeks), I find that I'm still happy, still forward-looking, and still find purpose in days in which simply rising from a chair, let alone walking, takes planning.

(For what it's worth, I have two favoured chairs, one a wooden dining-room chair, the other a piece of plastic lawn furniture. Both are relatively tall, and neither are cushioned, factors which make getting to my feet with leg metastases a lot easier.)

Anyway, I think that the reason I'm doing OK is that I make a deliberate effort to stay close to God.

First, whenever I'm tempted to self-pity or frustration, I think about Jesus' ordeal, from Gethsemane to Calvary. The remembered imagery from The Passion Of The Christ helps.

Second, I censor what's coming in, and any media with unhelpful messaging gets the boot. This does include some Christian programming; Health and Wealth gospel isn't welcome here.

The only commercial TV we watch is NASCAR and football. Otherwise it's all TBN.

Third, I keep The Chosen on while I'm doing woodwork, or, more often now, cleaning up 3D prints (I got a low-budget Ender 3 cheap). The way the story is told really resonates in my heart.

Fourth, and most important, I talk to God. Yes, He reads my heart, but I've got to use words, so I know exactly what I'm saying.

I always had a yearning for just this, casual conversation with an immanent God. Now I'm here, and if cancer is the price of entry, it's gladly paid.

I wanted so to stroll with Him
in the fragrant cool of evening,
when streetlights were all a-glim,
that I'd listen close, receiving
wisdom and enlightenment,
holding all He cared to say,
but this smacked of entitlement,
and things didn't work that way.
Now my dinner makes me wince,
and 'fore I stand I grit my teeth,
but I won't whine or murmur since
through cancer I did fall beneath
the blessed shadow of His wing,
and I would not change a thing.

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is MAINTAIN.

I once thought I could maintain
a quite vigourous life,
but then the cancer brought the rain,
and flooded days with strife,
a fight where I could not prevail,
but moved backwards, inch by yard,
and in the face of this I'd quail
because it was so very hard,
but Someone stepped in front of me
to take all of hell's rage,
Someone who I'd learned to see
upon thin dusty page,
but now stood boldly in my stead
that I might rest my weary head.

Four minutes, and about fifteen seconds.

Music from Jimmy Buffett, with Jolly Mon Sing

Sylvia stays close to God through ice cream.



16 comments:

  1. Beautiful, Andrew! I'm so thankful we can take shelter underneath His wings and receive His rest, protection, and provision (stand in our stead).

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa, I am so glad this resonated with you. It took me a long time to learn.

      Delete
  2. Oh, that our sufferings always lead us to see His ever-sheltering and protective wings! Entitlement is a deadly sin we rarely recognize. If I could take your place, maybe I wouldn't, but, neither would anyone want mine. God allows each what is necessary for each and is faithful to all. Thank you for sharing yourself with us and pointing us to Him. I pray for you, Barbara and yes, the doggies often. . Mary Hood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Mary, thank you for this...and I wouldn't want to swap places with anyone, because it would cost me the relationship I have come to know with God.

      We thank you so much for your prayers, and hope you know that you are in ours.

      Delete
  3. Thank you for sharing the steps you take to maintain your consciousness contact with God, that is always very helpful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Fiona, thank YOU. I really do hope this can help some people.

      Delete
  4. Andrew, you never cease to inspire me! Thank you for sharing your life with us with the hardships and the blessings. You are such an encouragement to persevere no matter how hard it gets. With God we can do anything, right? Blessings and love to you and Barb!

    ReplyDelete
  5. There is so much we can learn from one another as we all differ in how we maintain our faith. Andrew, you truly bring inspiration and encouragement.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Joanne, I don't know what to say, but a heartfelt Thank You.

      Delete
  6. loved the imagery in your second poem Andrew. Fits well. FMF11

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Annette, I am so glad this resonated with you, and I am sorry I didn't make it to your post. It's been a rough week.

      Delete
  7. I love your honesty and that you continue to exude joy and peace in the midst of your pain. It must be that putting your relationship with God front and center has brought the peace and purpose, and you are letting him work in and through you. And through your words. Praying for you and Barb both.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Kym, you're absolutely right. It's my relationship with God, my acceptance of His will, and a decision to choose joy that keeps me going, keeps me alive.

      Delete
  8. What kind of woodwork do you do? Maybe some time you can share a picture?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Grams, I make custom rifle stocks. I don't own the rights to images.

      Delete