Over to Barb. She'll be answering any comments you might care to make, under my name.
The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is FOLLOW. Following God's will, even when not liking it, is the heart of what, well, follows.
Andrew and I were having one of our deep conversations, don't ask me how it got started, this is normal and has been since day 1.
The portion that became important for the blog went something like this.
Honey I so sorry you're not feeling well. I wish I could change it or fix it or you could go "Home". But God really doesn't care about how I feel about it. I've already cried over it, prayed more times than I can count, mourned over it. I still pray for you, usually in terms of: "Hey God can ya do something about it? Make it stop, reduce the escalation of pain, take him Home, Something!" All I can do is try to help the best I can. I'm not being disrespectful when I'm saying God doesn't care about how I feel about all this. Everything has to play out for the Bigger picture, you know I love You. I just don't have to like all the suffering. (Andrew didn't know but like many times before, once again I had an image of Mary the Mother of Jesus having to watch His agonizing suffering).
I went to walk a dog or two and Andrew and I talked again. This time more him than me. The summation is this. Andrew basically doesn't like equating himself with Jesus and Jesus' suffering, mostly because Jesus' was for all mankind. I get that! Yet, I reminded Andrew that as true Children of God, who accepted His gift of forgiveness and grace, we reflect imperfectly Jesus to the world. So the suffering Andrew successfully endures...and as Andrew said writes about is a Jesus reflection.
So why blog it? The point is this, Paul tells us to give Thanks in All Things. But honestly in the midst of it, you have to stop your emotions! And I'm sorry, but some times pain overtakes the moment, even for Paul, or Peter, or Silas, or Stephen, or countless others. There is a moment in the midst of pain that pain ceases to exist strongly and one can stop the emotions. In this moment, you need to accept your feelings don't matter.
Music from Amy Grant, with Don't Try So Hard.
Suffering is a challenge for each of us. I pray you, Andrew and Barb, experience His comforting Presence as you walk this journey. Praying for you both and sending a virtual hug your way.
ReplyDeleteLisa, thank you. Prayers keep us encamped by angels and God's protection.
DeleteThe big lesson has been some emotions are focus removers from God's mercy and grace.
I so appreciate how you share this painful journey with us here. I'm always left with a lot to think about. Praying for you both.
ReplyDeleteLesley, Growth for all creation comes through pain of some sort. Trees, bushes, flower, and grass all weep on the places they are cut and the plant goes through trauma. We as the greatest creation should be know different. Thank you for your prayers.
DeleteYou both are amazing as you share so transparently. May I respectfully disagree with you on something? I don't think you realize how much your feelings do, in fact, matter. You don't shut off your emotions, you write through them and share them and show us how Christ meets us in the midst of the pain and suffering. Every tear shed matters as He puts His hand out and catches each one as they fall and stores them in a bottle. I so appreciate how you both let us into your world and challenge us to shine brightly right where we are - in our daily circumstances. Praying for you both today.
ReplyDeletePS - The song was beautiful! I have always loved Amy Grant's music and don't believe I have ever heard this song.
DeleteJoanne, it's one of Amy's albums after marriage to Vince Gill. It's a very adult album of life and retrospect.
DeleteJoanne, good prospective on why some of the emotions I defined are missing now. They are in His care so I may focus on the direction I should go
DeleteOuch, so true. Pain does overtake the moment and it is hard to see Christ in the mist of our tears. I remind my self that I am loved, totally accepted and approved by God with all my faults and lack of understanding. One day I will understand in full until then I will shed my tears and cry out to God.
ReplyDeleteI hope for the day when the emotions are only positive. The lessons learned are in place without the memory of how.
DeletePraying for you both. I can't imagine what you are going through but I believe God cares very deeply about your pain. It's a blessing to see how he carries you through each day and that you continue to trust him.
ReplyDeleteWhat a Journey to get where we are and still navigate. Lessons learned, growth in love and respect to degrees unknown worth the journey.
DeleteKym, what a Journey to get where we are and still navigate. Lessons learned, growth in love and respect to degrees unknown worth the journey.
DeleteI love how you both are honestly processing your grief together. It’s hard on both of you to live in pain. Blessing you both with an abundance of peace and laughter when it doesn’t hurt!
ReplyDeleteThank you. Please pray also for peace and laughter in the midst. It actually pulls one out of Satan's grasp.
DeletePraying for you and Barb.
ReplyDeleteGrams, thank you for the prayers. The keep us protected.
ReplyDelete"There is a moment in the midst of pain that pain ceases to exist strongly and one can stop the emotions. In this moment, you need to accept your feelings don't matter." WOW! So very true. And that is so often where humor takes over. A merry heart does good like a medicine. So many prayers for you and Barbara. And those doggies!
ReplyDeleteMary, just getting back to the comments. My apologies, my time, Barbara, is limited
DeleteGood point we need humor to fill in the space sometimes so we don't get overwhelmed in the seriousness of it all.
I tend to be too reflective and God has shown me that shutting down my emotions will shut down my mind and peace will prevail.
I am so blessed by Andrew and his testimony. I tend to agree with him about equating our suffering with Jesus', because His is so much greater than our "light momentary affliction", yet 2 Corinthians 4:6-12 also reminds us we have the treasure of the gospel in "jars of clay" these broken bodies, that His power and light may shine forth, rather than ours. And though we be all but crushed, we are always bearing in our bodies the death of Jesus, that others then may also see His life. The beauty of suffering then, while we may not choose to "equate" it with Jesus' works a far greater glory both in conforming us to His image and showing Him to the world through our suffering. Thank you, Andrew for shining that Light into the darkness for us to follow.
ReplyDeleteDonna, this week of all weeks in a year reminds us that we all must be crushed, that the human imperfections must shatter so Jesus and the Father may piece our broken humanity into a place for Glory to shine and beckon others to Come and See
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