Thursday, August 18, 2022

Dancing On The Edge Of Forever



This was originally intended to be quite a different post (pertaining to the lovely evening picture above, which Barb took from our front door), but coming back from near death earlier today... well, that may be worth a few words.

It was a hard experience. I realized, very suddenly, that I was about to go down very hard, and, vision fading, managed to lunge across my bed.

There followed a period of passing in and out of awareness, and I can liken it to drowning (I was once trapped beneath seaweed when diving).

I became too weak to fight, and handed the situation over to God...and gradually my breath came back, and I could, later, see again.

Barb came home from lunch shortly thereafter, and was horrified to find me ice-cold, with pale, and with very poor veinous return at the fingernails.

Now, several hours later, I'm as shaky as a shopping cart with a bad wheel.

And what does it mean? What's the lesson from this terrifying morning?

God is.

No matter how proud, nay, arrogant we are in our own strength (I have cornered the market, here), there's a limit.

And there God stands, shaking His head, perhaps rolling His eyes, sleeves pulled up, ready to work.

Perhaps to put you back, perhaps to take you home.

Or something in between.

He holds all the cards.

I paid out in arrogance
far more than I could fain afford,
and, as if in recompense
I was forced unto the Lord,
unwillingly into His arms,
where He smiling bade me hide,
safe from earthly harms,
but not from that which lurked inside.
'Twas pride that led me to resist
in my heart, with pious face,
and it's hard, with tight-closed fist
to receive the gentle grace
that the Lord so wants to give
through every moment that we live.

Music from Soundgarden, with Live To Rise.

The Five Minute Friday prompt this week is VIEW. Let's take a look.

Come and visit us, right here,
yes, we do mean you!
My friend, we hold your friendship dear,
so let's enjoy the view.
A mountain range lies to the east
across the desert plain,
and its best matches its least
when peaks are clothed in rain.
Un-named mesas in the west
will shine red in the morning light,
and receive the sun in rest
at the fall of night.
But beauty goes on, have no doubt;
just wait 'till all the stars come out!

Four minutes. Good enough.

Sylvia learned long ago that trading pride for ice cream is a good exchange,
and that ice cream presents a lovely view.



 






34 comments:

  1. Wow, Andrew, after such a scary time, you sure came up with a great post! You always inspire me. Yes, God holds all the cards and He does give us grace. I'm praying for you and Barb. Sending love and hugs to you both.

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    1. Gayl, thank you so much for this affirmation, for your prayers, and for being here!

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  2. No-one else explains the horrors of cancer like you do! Thank you so much for your honesty and your lyrics! Xx

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    1. Fiona, thank you so much for this. I read your words on the far side of terrible chills, caused by bleeding, and you gave me such comfort!

      (Under other circumstances, yes, I might be in hospital, but aside from having no insurance, potential exposure to one of the new disease strains would likely be fatal, and I've been advised to see things through on my own.)

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  3. So glad you're posts keep coming! You are such a gift to so many with your words and with your life. I've been reading/watching you for years now with the struggles you face and still "GOD IS..." as you say. Your faith has made you strong even when week. Jesus Loves Me...and YOU so much! He will hold us ALWAYS. There is peace in that. I hope that your wife has access to your blog so that she can let us know when the day does come. It will come for all of us. My husband has the password to my wordpress account so I hope he'll let my readers know if I pass on soon or far into the future...you never know your life's days...only HE does. Glad you're here. Jennifer

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    1. Jenn, thank you, from the bottom of my heart. I'm honoured and humbled by your gracious words.

      I keep skating to the edge, and God keeps pulling me back. I once thought it was my determination and will to live, but it really is, and always has been, on Him

      Barb does have access to the blog, but I suspect that news of my passing will precede that, as many Five Minute Friday people follow her on Facebook, at which she is adept and I am not. She's there as Barbara Andrew Schmeisser

      Oh, and you're not allowed to go. I look forward to your blog FAR too much, and I forbid it.

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  4. Andrew - even as a wobbly shopping chart, you're still finding the energy and the inspiraton to encourage each of us, your readers! Thank you. Sincerely. Here's to a restful weekend!

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    1. Jennifer, from what's shaping as a rough day...thank you so much!

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  5. Yes, God is, and He is in control. So glad you are still with us sharing your words!

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    1. Jerralea, thank you! I am glad to still be here, too.

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  6. That sounds very scary.
    Glad you're still here though, and were able to share that spectacular view.

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    1. Grams, it was terrifying.

      The views today, after a summer storm, held both beauty and balm. I'll try to post them next week.

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  7. That sounds terrifying - for you and for Barb. Praise God for his strength when you are weak and for seeing you both through. Your words continue to inspire and challenge us to deeper faith. Keeping you in my prayers!

    What a gorgeous view from your front door!

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    1. Kym, yeah, it was scary; not death itself, but the process.

      I'm honoured by your affirmation. Thank you for this.

      And so glad that you liked the view from our door!

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  8. Andrew, I love "He holds all the cards"...Wow, yes He does! And He holds the winning hand. So sorry all you have to go through but you always, always give Him praise and that is what I love about reading your stuff. Prayers for you and Barb and the dogs!!!

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    1. Mary, thank you, from everyone here, dogs and cat included.

      And, yeah, Blogger's weird and maybe a bit psycho about comments.

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  9. Anonymous! No, Mary Hood. Haven't figured this out yet.

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  10. Thank you, Andrew. You inspire me with your constant stream of verse, despite the obstacles you face. The reason? 'God is.' Indeed. Blessings to you, Barb and the lucky Sylvia. Ice-cream wins over everything for me too. Dawn #27

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    1. Dawn, thank you so much! Blessings back, and loads of ice cream!

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  11. Beautiful Andrew. God Bless you.

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    1. Mitzy, thank you. May God bless you and yours!

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  12. Andrew, you are always an encouragement to my heart. I love how you saw this episode as God at work. Cause you know... God! :)

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    1. Annette, I wouldn't have my life any other way. Knowing God came through cancer, and I would do it all again.

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  13. Wow Andrew, what a scary morning you had, and how frightened Barbara must have been coming home to find you so ill! Praise God that you can see His hand in it all, and that the experience resulted in such a very inspiring post.
    Just stopped by from FMF #29

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    1. Heather, it was indeed scary, but where fear is, God is there also.

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  14. Indeed God does hold all the cards-n I'm so glad he does... This is such a painfully lovely post....

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    1. Yes, God having all the cards is sure a relief. He knows just how to play them.

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    1. My dear Norma...thank you, and blessings back!

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  16. I'm sorry this week has been harder and scarier than normal, Andrew. You have a great view of life and God and yourself in the midst of it all. Thanks so much for sharing so honestly and beautifully. Kath

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    1. Kath, thank you so much for this lovely affirmation.

      It's hard and scary, and when I reach out in despair... I touch God's face.

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  17. Dancing on the Edge of Forever.

    That's profound. Simply profound. May today be a restful one for you ...

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    1. Linda, today is actually the best kind of restful... acclimating a deaf Pitbull puppy to the house. He's 7 months old, about 80 lbs, and looks like the Little Rascals Petey.

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  18. Wow, what an experience. I am sure it scared your wife too. I read this week's post first, so a little out of order, and at first I thought this was the same experience. I can't imagine what you are going through, but praying God's will through it all.

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