I call it the Devil's Question.
"If you had it to do over..?
For one thing, it's futile; we don't have anything to do over, and while learning from mistakes is smart, going back and building alternate universes in your mind is something for science fiction...bad science fiction.
For another thing, it's ungrateful, and often unkind. I've made many bad decisions in my life, and can be considered, without prejudice, a worldly failure. Never quite made it to my dreams and aspirations, except for saving a lot of stray dogs (at huge cost to relationship, including and especially marriage...we typically have to step outside to talk...yes, Barb is a saint, because of the barking when we start to speak, and friends are consigned to lawn furniture by the workshop for a visit).
And they were a choice, one that took the place of so many other things...travel, dining out, hobbies, serious writing.
But those dogs had literally no other options, and they've made up in love what they have cost in care...would I reset my life, if I could, and consign them to the oblivion they faced?
In a more prideful vein, the poetry thing...had I the money (again, choices!) and the health (well, luck)h, I would have been working on aeroplanes and racing cars...but from what I have been told, I've done a bit of good through my words. Far more than if I'd followed the Machines Of My Dreams.
But there is something beyond being grateful for the blessings of the 'road taken'...our failures, and the dreams that fade and crumble, can open our hearts to compassion, to deeper love (for how we yearn to be comforted, as children, when our toys are broken!), and through these to a Visitor.
If we let Him in, God drops by, in disguise.
I'm sure each dog has been glad of a home!!
ReplyDelete"What if" is a question I don't allow myself to ask - too negative for me, but our past is wiped clean in the Saviour and in Him I have new life - every day!
Fiona, exactly that...our life is renewed in Him every day, every moment!
DeleteThat question is a loaded one and a road my husband and I often venture down in conversation. If I could do it all over again, I would definitely do it and exactly the same way. Every failure brought a powerful lesson needed and well learned. Every joy brought love and memories to hold onto and cherish. It's the way we live a life well - learning and growing and changing. Hopefully we become more like Him. Andrew, I am praying for you and Barb for surely it is God who is giving you both strength!
ReplyDeleteJoanne, I feel the same way...I'd do it the same, to get to this point, and the blessings - and lessons - that have been given.
DeleteWe thank you so much for your prayers!
We don't get do-overs, but we do get today! Praying we make good choices with our time, and we slow down to let God show us His presence. Happy Friday! Jennifer
ReplyDeleteJennifer, yes! We do get today!
DeleteI agree with the statements above. I've learned from each situation in my life. And I agree about the dog comment from Fiona!! Praying for you!! :) Deirdre FMF # 9
ReplyDeleteDeirdre, thank you...from me, and from the dogs!
DeleteThanks for sharing a bit of your life with us, I appreciate this insight, "They looked back into my eyes, to offer not reproach nor praise, for either would be scarlet lies; life's not defined by what is gained, but by the hidden God we've entertained."
ReplyDelete~Lisa, FMF #5
Lisa, thank you, for being here! God bless!
DeleteI have been blessed both by sitting in one of those lawn chairs by the workshop with you and B and by your prose (today's in my comments on blog is by far a favorite).
ReplyDeleteSusan, the memory is a blessing for us, and so are YOU! XOXOXOXO
DeleteWhichever road we travel, we know that failure is a part of it. In thinking about what might have been, the deception happens when we believe that we would have been someone different, maybe a person without the same flaws we currently have. We are who we are, despite what we choose to do.
ReplyDeleteAmie
Amie, you've said it perfectly, that we believe we might have been someone else.
DeleteYou've given me a LOT to think about here!
"I've done a bit of good through my words..." Oh my yes - Know this, my friend. What a gift! Karen (FMF #7)
ReplyDeleteKaren, thank you so very much for this lovely, loving affirmation. It means the world.
DeleteI read your posts most weeks, and sometimes I wonder how you are. I don't know you, a world away, but it's great to read your words. I do not get to writing regularly enough as I think I should. You inspire me, thanks for your words.
ReplyDeleteJanene, thank you so much for stopping by, and saying this. Comments like yours make this all worthwhile.
DeleteAndrew, I always love your perspective. As I read, I thought about some of my mistakes or choices that led to heartbreak and disappointment. I see God's fingerprint in those painful times, in the uncomfortable results. And I see how He revealed more of Himself to me in those seasons. I wouldn't trade the past for any possible good outcomes because it's those past mistakes and results that have made me into the person I am now. And I like who God has formed me to be. Great thoughts, friend. I'm praying for you and Barb.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, I love the way you put this, seeing God's fingerprint on the painful times.
DeleteAnd yes, we do get to know Him better in the hard seasons. I wouldn't trade this, or the person I've become...or, if I may, the person YOU'VE become. I'm so grateful for your friendship, and your prayers!
Andrew, I always love your perspective. As I read, I thought about some of my mistakes or choices that led to heartbreak and disappointment. I see God's fingerprint in those painful times, in the uncomfortable results. And I see how He revealed more of Himself to me in those seasons. I wouldn't trade the past for any possible good outcomes because it's those past mistakes and results that have made me into the person I am now. And I like who God has formed me to be. Great thoughts, friend. I'm praying for you and Barb.
ReplyDeleteAndrew, I always love your perspective. As I read, I thought about some of my mistakes or choices that led to heartbreak and disappointment. I see God's fingerprint in those painful times, in the uncomfortable results. And I see how He revealed more of Himself to me in those seasons. I wouldn't trade the past for any possible good outcomes because it's those past mistakes and results that have made me into the person I am now. And I like who God has formed me to be. Great thoughts, friend. I'm praying for you and Barb.
ReplyDeleteI was just wondering the other day about going back -doing it all over - and I thought only if I can take what I know now with me! Yeah - there are some things I would do differently. So many feelings I would have felt differently. The little foxes wouldn't have tormented my vines so. Yet, I've been blessed - and I wouldn't want to change that part of the story for anything.
ReplyDelete