Thursday, August 22, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 662 - The Enjoying Of The Air {FMF}

When you were a kid, did a friend ever dare you to see how long you could hold your breath?

And to remember that painful shuddering exhalation at the end, and how sweet the next breath was?

That's sort of where I am now, a large tumour (yeah, lymphoma) on each side of the neck, making every new breath something of a relief.

Even more, a pleasure. I never thought I would enjoy breathing before.

And I don't want to stop.

As spiked with pain as every moment's movement is, I enjoy the little things so much more now.

Like breathing. The pace of breathing is the cadence of life. (And pace is the Five Minute Friday writing prompt this week.)

I don't want to lose them.

I wonder if His human side
did not want to be killed,
to bear the spear that pierced His side
that Divine could be fulfilled.
I wonder if He closed His eyes,
and drank so deep of air
that He did, with breath's reprise
beseech Father with this prayer:
"Abba, let Me stay awhile,
let Me feel the wind and rain,
to forego the day of mortal trial,
and the coming wave of pain.
Dear Abba, am I wrong to ask
another ending to this task?"

Music from Aliotta, Haynes & Jeremiah, with Lake Shore Drive.



Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.











25 comments:

  1. Praying for more breaths for you, for strength for each day the Lord gives you. Your attitude and joy in life challenges me. Thank you for continuing to write and share your days with all of us.

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    1. Rachel, thank you so much for your kind words, for your prayer, and for being here.

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  2. Andrew, thank you for reminding me today to be grateful for every breath the Lord gives us. Breath is a gift. And I am praying He gives you many more gifts with each breath! Praying for you this morning!

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    1. Joanne, each breath is ineed a gift...and today, for me, I'm grateful even for the ones that hurt.

      Thank you so much for your prayers!

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  3. I've been gone for five weeks and I'm really glad you are still here and still breathing. xo

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    1. Susan, I'm glad, too. And I'm glad you're back, after a wonderful trip! XOXOXO

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  4. I love your poem, and I love your attitude of seeing every breath as a blessing. Praying for you!

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    1. Lesley, I'm so glad you liked this, and so grateful for your prayers.

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  5. Breath truly is a blessing. Praying for you always!

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    1. Indeed it is, Tara. Thak you for keeping me in prayer!

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  6. Oxygen is an amazing thing to we humans. Thanking God that He is still providing it to you! 🙏 Blessings of breath to you, Andrew.

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    1. Diana, I'm pretty grateful for oxygen, too. Good to breathe (and helpful in welding).

      Blessings back, and you guys are in our prayers.

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  7. Did you know hundreds of years ago people used to think breath was the soul? That's why we say "God bless you" when someone sneezes. They thought when you sneezed your soul came out and an evil spirit might get into you instead if they didn't say "God bless you."
    May God bless you with many more breaths - and easier ones.

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    1. Jan, wow, I didn't know this! Thank you for sharing it, broadening my knowledge...and brightening my day by the blessing of your presence.

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  8. Andrew, I don't know how you go on. I wonder about your dreams, the books you were going to write, your plans for an impactful tomorrow. I often wish for your healing, to see what God would do in and through you. Your spirit is always present in all you write. Can you imagine what it would be if you were set free from your limiting circumstances? You would fly. Who knows, it could still be on the horizon. Stranger things have happened. With God anything is possible. Still praying for the amazing.

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    1. My dear Norma...I figure God's already one something amazing, in that I haven't lost faith, and that while I haven't lost hope for healing, I'm happy in the now. That's His work; I would not have had the strength of character in myself.

      If this is truly His will, this road, I'm OK with it.

      And if He raises a curtain on the miracle and that far horizon...I'm OK with that too!

      Thank you for your prayers; they mean so much.

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  9. Andrew, I haven't commented in awhile, but your post today slows my pace (couldn't resist!) and requires my full attention. God continues to speak loudly through the faithful sharing of your journey. You could turn inward; bitter and selfish. And yet every week you join this community with honesty, selflessness, and caring. I don't know what God has in store for you in heaven, but I'm trusting it is so powerfully inconceivable that everything you're dealing with now will be worth it. Blessings, peace, and comfort to you tonight, friend.

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    1. Susan, thank you so much for these lovely, uplifting and affirming words...I'm so grateful.

      It's very hard, yes (especially today), but I've been blessed with a peace that I have never known before, and it's an active peace, not the false benison of giving up.

      I don't know where the road leads, but I know I'm not alone.

      Thank you so much for being here!

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  10. Beautiful poem, Andrew! May we all stop to take a breath and enjoy the moment. We can take so much for granted until it's taken away and then we realize what a blessing each moment is. Thank you, Andrew, for always reminding us to enjoy what we can and not take things for granted. Blessings and love to you and Barb and all the doggies!

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    1. I'm so glad you like it, Gayl. And you're right; we do take so much for granted, and I've been blessed to experience the understanding that when so much seems lost, we retain so much...and we are given more, if we will but accept it.

      Blessings and love back, from all of us!

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  11. Maybe it is the mercy of God to allow us to notice and love every little thing we took for granted in our life. Your words are shaping me more and more. Blessings and prayers.

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    1. Mary, you're exactly right...it IS a mercy and blessing to have one's eyes opened to all we still have, even in the midst of losing so much.

      I would not have missed this for the world.

      Thank you for your prayers, and blessings back!

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  12. (((((Andrew)))))

    Thank you for giving me perspective. Again.

    Annie in Texas

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    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      Thank YOU, for being here!

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  13. It's always painful for me to come by and hear that you are experiencing yet another horrible symptom, Andrew! Breaks my heart! Prayers are being lifted, but so very grateful for your perseverance and perspective in this painful time. Hugs

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