Thursday, February 28, 2019

Your Dying Spouse 587 - The Impossible {FMF}

And this has been a really hard week. Hate saying that maybe as much as y'all hate reading it.

I was outside two days ago, enjoying a mellow late-winter sun, when something went 'crack-thump' in my chest. It was more felt than heard (but it was heard), and brought both pain and a lot more trouble breathing. Feels like my right lung isn't working, but that's probably just my imagination. There's also another swelling on the chest wall, there. UG-ly.

A couple of more swellings in the neck make talking very hard; Barb's brought home communion from church so I can have it every day, and she has to say the Lord's Prayer. I can't get through it without losing my voice and coughing.

And life is still good, and joy far outweighs the misery.

I can't control what happens to me; I don't want to die, but this latest thing kind of disregards my opinion.

I can keep a positive attitude, looking to what I can do rather than mourning what's lost.

While tomorrow looks and feels writ in stone, it's not. I'm not talking about a miracle, here, though that would be nice.

It's more about drawing on the strength God offers to prevail, even in a small way, over that which besets me.

A small victory today can set the stage for a larger one tomorrow.

Or not.

But a small victory is still a win.

'Twas a thump within my chest
from somewhere deep inside,
to add to cancer's manifest
from which I cannot hide.
I choke with every inhalation
and every step's a trial.
Agony is life's formation
here in durance vile.
Despair, though, has not yet won,
although it does its best.
If I can greet the rising sun
I will have passed the test.
And the Son was rising, on His way to die,
on the road to Calvary; if He could, so can I.

Music by Patrick Doyle, with Memoriae Tuae from the wonderful film Sgt. Stubby - An American Hero. It's an animated and acurate telling of the story of the most decorated dog in American military history, and is a reminder of a war that should never be forgotten. I strongly recommend Sgt. Stubby for all ages. (I linked to Amazon, and as this blog is not monetized, I get no 'cut'; I just think you should buy or rent the movie. Wall-to-wall five-star reviews.)

Martis nec gladius, belli nec ignis impiger
vivim monumentum umquam memoriae tuae consumet

"Nor Mars' quick sword nor his fire shall burn
the living record of your memory."




Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.







30 comments:

  1. I am so sorry to hear this.

    This morning, I was praying for you, in the presence of my six-year-old son, who is also named Andrew. He added a request that God would "delete his cancer." Thought you'd like to know. This evening at our Trail Life meeting (which is sort of like Cub Scouts), he requested to pray for you again.

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    1. Jennifer, we are so grateful for this! Bless you, and bless your wonderful son.

      We have heard of Trail Life; a good organization.

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  2. I love how you continue to be so positive even in the midst of such pain. "A small victory is still a win."- so true. Praying for you today for a victory - big or small - and for God's strength.

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    1. Lesley, thank you for this, and for your prayers!

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  3. Thank you Andrew - your words are such an encouragement. 'A small victory is still a win': I needed to hear that (one of my sons has ongoing mental illness and is struggling right now). God bless you x

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    1. Thank YOU, for being here...and I will pray for your son, and for you.

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  4. Andrew, praying this morning for you & Barb. Praying for victory today, big or small, to be provided in the strength which only comes from God. Your poetry these days is much appreciated. God bless you for being such an inspiration to many!

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    1. Joanne, we thank you so very much for your prayers. And indeed God is the only one who can provide the stength.

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  5. I am blessed to hear that you and Barb take communion often. I think it is one of the most blatant slaps in Satan's nasty face. "THIS DO IN REMEMBRANCE OF ME."

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    1. Susan, I love the way you put this, that communion is a slap to Satan's face. Perfect!

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  6. https://youtu.be/5pBEnaBYwFI
    Andrew, you remind me of Desmond Doss... "Help me get one more, Lord... one more."
    Still praying. Still believing that all of this Life will make sense on the other side.

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    1. Jane, wow...I'm so honoured!

      I, too, believe it will all make sense, when viewed from God's side. And thank you so much for the prayers!

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  7. Your poem has the form of a teacup and I hear the words, "My cup runneth over." Yours surely does. Praying for miraculous things for you, knowing that you are at peace with the words "Whether I live or die..." So thankful to have "met" you. Hope to see you one day - here, there or in the air.

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    1. Rebekah, the teacup image is just lovely! Thank you for this, and most especially for your prayers.

      I, too, look forward to meeting you one day, in this life by His Grace, or in the net, in His Presence.

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  8. I've been away from the group and writing for a couple of weeks -- my daughter got married, so I had pre-wedding stuff, the wedding weekend, and then last weekend I was swamped getting caught up again here at home. Anyway, while I haven't been here, you've been in my prayers, and I'm so sorry about these latest developments. Praying for a miracle for a man who inspires us all!!

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    1. Patti, wow, what events! Such a marvellous swirl of life.

      It's so good to see you here (and at FMF), and thank you so much for your prayers!

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  9. (((((Andrew)))))

    Another minute.... another victory!

    Annie in Texas

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    1. ((((((Annie!))))))

      Yes, winning on God's team is kinda un!

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  10. Andrew, you are amazing. I agree with what everyone else has said here about your positive spirit.

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  11. Sending love and gratitude to both of you.

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  12. A small victory is still a victory! Continually praying and sending love. Thankful for both you and Barb. I'm in the 33 spot this week.

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    1. Tara, it sure is...any win is worthwhile. We thank you so much for your prayers. Love back!

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  13. Praying for you, brother! I'm sorry for the thump and the difficulty breathing... (and everything else, of course) I love that you are taking communion daily... and saying/listening to the Lord's prayer! What testimony -the power of choice and how you are choosing Him and Joy and Hope. I know it's not always an easy choice --but it is a purposeful one that brings much fruit... and also brings Him much glory and honor!

    Love you and how you live --even/especially in the midst of dying... Praying for healing, for rest, for hope, and ridiculous joy to spill up and over!

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    1. Karrilee, thank you so much. The daily Communion is a big thing, and it sure does help.

      Love back, and thank you so much for the prayers!

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  14. Oh no! I hate hearing reports like that, Andrew! Will fire up more prayers. I'll also take your advice and check out that movie. I'm always on the lookout for a quality show with a good message. Hugs to you!

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    1. Beth, do look for Sgt. Stubby; you should be able to get it at a local Redbox. You'll be glad you did.

      And thank you so much for the hugs!

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  15. Andrew, I never cease to be amazed at the awesome aphorisms and superb sonnets that stem from your huge trials. Those gifts alone are a win-win, a victory of creativity over caving in, a reason to rejoice when you lose your actual voice. Because your writing voice is singing like a bell, pure and clear. It is marvellous to behold. Prayers continuing. May there be more daily victories to come!

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    1. Joy, wow...you do me such honour in these words, and they are a beloved spur to which I shall endeavour to live up to in future!

      Many, many thanks for your prayers. They are so appreciated!

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