Your Dying Spouse 502 - Father, Into Your Hands I Commend My Spirit

"Get correct views of life, and learn to see the world in its true light. It will enable you to live pleasantly, to do good, and when summoned away, to leave without regret."

Robert E. Lee

And so it goes...getting harder with each day.

Pancreatic cancer and lymphoma have pushed me to the edge of my strength. Oh, I'm still hanging on, make no mistake. Still keeping my spirits up, so that if the miracle of healing does come, I'll be ready (and not saying, "Well, uh...I'm healed...NOW what do I do?").

I hope for that, but it isn't the only positive outcome. I may die in dreadful pain, and go through the scariest things I can never imagine in the long nights of agony before that, and it's what I do now, in spite of the pain and fear, that can make a difference.

So if you'll bear with me, I'll try to follow in some pretty deep footsteps, with my hand raised, like a child, to take the Hand of the One who will help me from each step to the next.

Luke 23:34: Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do.

God, I forgive, without reservation, those who have wronged me...and I ask you to forgive me, for the wrongs I've done. So many times, looking back, I know what You wanted me to do...and I didn't do it. I'm so sorry.

Luke 23:43: Truly, I say to you, today you will be with me in paradise.

God, with the strength I have left, let me shine your light, to reach those who may not have heard You, or, like me, may not have listened. Here am I; send me.

John 19:26–27: Woman, behold your son. Son, behold your mother

God, I won't be able to be with Barbara and the dogs for as long as I'd wanted to; I accept that, and ask that you bring someone into their lives to protect and love and nurture them.

Matthew 27:46 & Mark 15:34 My God, My God, why have you forsaken me?

God, sometimes I feel so alone, and in the depths of pain, so far from You. Please give me the strength to hold onto faith when it feels like I have nothing left to cling to, and please burn in my heart the knowing the fact that You were all I ever really had.

John 19:28: I thirst.

God, I'm so thirsty, from the pancreatic cancer, and from the calcium rising in my blood from the bone metastases. It's a terrible thirt, a sorrowful, hopeless thirst. Please let me see that You are the only quenching of this awful lack!

John 19:30: It is finished.

God, my race may be almost done, but whatever distance I have yet to run, let me finish strong, for Your sake.

Luke 23:46: Father, into thy hands I commend my spirit.

God, dear Father, you hold me in your hands, and it's there that by heart and soul find rest...to one day rise again in the presence of Your Glory and Love.

AMEN.

So now let's bring in the Moody Blues, with I Know You're Out There Somewhere...because He is.

Please pardon my slow response to comments. I do my best, and your comments are really precious to me. Barb is answering many of them now. I'm running on fumes, if you don't mind a macho metaphor.

I'm grateful for the energy to have written this. I'm so glad Barbara's stepped in for many of my posts. I'm really not doing well at all.

Thanks to Carol Ashby, Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart is back on Kindle, and will be available in paperback soon.

Friends are everything. I couldn't have done it.

Marley, the canine waif from Afghanistan, whom WE helped save, has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.

If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.