Sunday, June 18, 2017

Your Dying Spouse 325 - Don't Look Back

This is going to be another short one. I'm sorry. Days are getting quite a bit worse.

Today (June 18) I watched the final round of the US Open golf tournament; decades ago I was an avid golfer.

Watching the thing seemed like a good idea att the time, but it did me some damage.

Way back when, my life was not at all pleasant, but what kept me going was the hope for a better future. There were possibilities, and the road ahead, though dark, was still wide.

Not so now. The future from here looks like today, only it' going to hurt worse, and the energy to develop new ideas, or revitalize old plans still isn't there.

In other words, looking back into my past dimmed my present, and it's going to take some time to recover the equilibrium.

So this is advice to caregivers and patients...don't look back.

It may seem like a strol down memory lane will bring remembered happiness...it will, but it can come at a terrible cost to now.

When there's no tomorrow, there's no yesterday.

There's only now.

Still hoping to get the new and improved version of Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart up and running in the near future. Just haven't had the energy to do it yet...but if you would like to read it, please say so in your comment and I'd be glad to send you a PDF (which should fit your Kindle).

I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.



Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.

WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!

And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.


If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.

Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.


















16 comments:

  1. "There's only now." That is a truth we all need to accept, regardless of how many or how few days we may think we have left. Thanks for sharing this, Andrew. And I didn't know you were once an avid golfer. We're still learning new things about you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lisa, thank you so much! And yes, I was enthusiastic enough about golf that I considered turning professional. Would have been a different life, for sure

      Delete
  2. Hi Andrew ... although I'm a big advocate of looking back to help us move forward well, you're right, it's hard to regain our equilibrium, get rebalanced, and have energy for today when we're always gazing with fondness at the past.

    Thanks for your wisdom, as ever.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Linda, you're right that understanding the past can help shape a better future. For me, without much of a future to shape, it's dangerous.

      Thanks so much for being here!

      Delete
  3. Strength for today, hope for tomorrow. That 's what we all need. Praying it for you, my friend. For some reason the lyrics from Handel's Messiah are running through my head as I write this, "Be ye comforted..."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Norma, thank you so much for this - the lyrics and music from Messiah are perfect!

      Delete
  4. Hi Andrew, God has not forgotten you or made a mistake. He is faithful in all our circumstances, even when it doesn't look like from our human perspective! Praying for you!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Donna, thank you so much for the prayers...and you're right. God hasn't made a mistake. Even if I can't see the purpose, it's there, and I am not resentful.

      Delete
  5. Hello Andrew, as I try to read your posts through the filter of marriage, I am frequently struck by how your wisdom permeates life to other relationships. Sometimes the things we glance back at, and then share, cause irrevocable (although unintentional) damage to those we love. Focusing on the present, without denying the past, is a worthy goal. Prayers for a comfortable day, complete with joys in the moment.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alice, thank you so much for sharing your perspective here...and you're so right, that what we look back at and share can cause harm deeper and more profound than we could have imagined.

      Thank you so much for the prayers!

      Delete
  6. Though I'm like Linda, seeing the value of looking back to better understand and deal with the present, I also see how that truth doesn't really transfer well to your situation, Andrew. So your words--"When there's no tomorrow, there's no yesterday. There's only now"--makes a lot of sense. I'm praying for you daily, my friend, and hoping you continue to conserve your energy for meaningful moments with Barbara.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Beth, thank you so much for this affirmation! I do agree that in most cases understanding the past can build a more coherent future...but in my situation, it's just not so.

      We so appreciate your prayers!

      Delete
  7. Andrew, I'm praying for you, friend. May God give you His strength for each moment, and may He help you in keeping your mind set on Him. May He show you His love for you in special ways today.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. jeanne, thank you so much...and rest assured, God is here, and He has patience with my sometimes petulant nature!

      Delete
  8. Andrew - if today is all we can handle, then today is all we should try to handle. Not the future, not the past. I suppose I still am a bit idealistic, in that I continue to try to be optimistic about what tomorrow holds. I do not know what it's like to walk in your shoes - so again, I thank you for your simple reminders like this one - just deal with today! Prayers!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Carol, thank you...I try to stay optimistic, too, holding plans and dreams beyond my diagnosis. It's hard sometimes.

      I so appreciate your prayers!

      Delete