If you're a caregiver, there is one thing you can do that may be more important than anything else.
Hold the hand of your terminally ill husband or wife.
Hugs may be too painful now, but a gentle touch to the hand is almost never a problem...and it's both welcome, and needed.
Dying is terribly isolating, terribly lonely. The world goes on, and the patient is leaving it. Slowly. The connexions to the wider world are torn away one by one.
Leaving the workforce.
Having to quit driving.
Having to quit going out, because it's just too painful and tiring.
Friends stop coming by, because they don't know what to say.
Conversation becomes hard, because it hurts to talk, and it's too tiring to think.
Pretty soon all that's left is sitting with the pain nd the heartache.
And, dear caregiver, that is where you come in. Take the hand that is empty, and just sit at the foot of that cross.
Touch is the final, and most important communication.
There can only be one musical theme today...
We're linked with Messy Marriage's From Messes To Messages - please visit for some great marriage resources!
This is one of my favorite Beatle's song. I pray you feel your wife's touch and the touch of God just when you need it most.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Mary, and I'm delighted that you like the Fab Four too!
DeleteHope you can feel our gentle hand hugs across the internet!! We are praying for you. So so sorry that it's increasing in difficulty.
ReplyDeleteThank you for continuing to post, though it is barely bearable.
Love,
Tammy
I do feel the hugs, Tammy, and appreciate sympathy and the prayers very much.
DeleteI'll keep going. It's hard to write, but worthwhile.
Love back, from all of us.
That's also one of my favorite Beatles songs. :) My heart goes out to you and Barb. May you both feel God's comfort around you during such a difficult time.
ReplyDeleteGayl, I am so glad you like the choice! I love that song, too. Thank you so much for the kind thoughts and prayers.
DeleteThinking of you Andrew. Know that as you take your final walk you are never alone. You have friends and you have Jesus!! God Bless both you and your wife!
ReplyDeletePaula, thank you so much for the grace and kindness of your comment...it's so good to know I'm not alone.
DeleteBlessings back, from both of us.
Joined you from Coffee and Conversation today because I saw the picture of your dog and I'm always drawn to sweet pups. I'm sorry for what you are going through and I know it can be lonely when people stop coming by. Why is it that we are afraid to see suffering while Jesus was drawn to the suffering. Praying God's comfort for your wife and strength and peace for you. Blessings, patti
ReplyDeletePatti, please excuse my tardy reply...I will tell Sylvia that you like her picture!
DeleteIt's so easy to get scared of suffering...perhaps because we're afraid that it's somehow bad luck, that we'll be afflicted, too? I don't know.
Thank ypu so much for being here today.
Aww, Andrew! I feel your pain! I just hope that you and Barbara are able to hold hands as often as is possible. I know that small gesture communicates so much, especially as your strength and focus is fading. Know that I am praying for you, along with so many who show up here daily and weekly. We are with you in spirit!
ReplyDeleteBeth, please pardon my delay in replying...we do hold hands when possible, though now almost any physical contact can cause pain...sometimes even that of clothing. XXL is my friend.
DeleteI so appreciate your prayers, far more than I can say.
The beauty of the internet...we can offer virtual hugs and they don't cause pain.
ReplyDeleteChristy, exactly right! Virtual hugs are treasures!
DeleteThanks for taking me back to the days of my youth with that video. Of course you know I'm praying for you, and for Barbara.
ReplyDeleteJan, I'm so glad you liked the video...that song haunted my memory for a long time until I realized I could find it by doing a search on the lyrics which I had memorized. And then, on to Youtube. Have to love the modern world.
DeleteThank you so very, very much for the prayers.
I agreee - holding hands is important! Praying for you and Barbara today.
ReplyDeleteRachel, yes...handholding is the glue that can hold our hearts together.
DeleteWe so appreciate theprayers, and you are in ours.