I'll have to ask your indulgence and prayers. I was far too ill, this weekend, to write. It's getting rather discouraging.
Discouragement. The breaking down of heart, I think, rooted in the French word, cour.
We're told not to be discouraged, and given lots of reasons in Scripture. But the pain is so bad right now that a lot of them don't ring true.
I suspect God knew that would be the case.
Perhaps that is why Jesus' blood was pumped overboard by his failing human heart, to show us the red road that leads home.
Andrew, thanks for sharing your heart -- the real thing. These few words are more powerful than an inauthentic post dredged up just to meet a deadline.
ReplyDeleteBlessings to you in these hard days.
Michele, thank you so much. I truly treasure this comment, and your presence here.
DeleteBlessings back!
I echo what my friend Michele says. Much (((love))) from NC. Your new shoes arrive Thursday. Maybe they will help cushion that road home.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Susan. I will be watching for them, and they will definitely help me keep my footing...and make the road nicer.
DeleteXOXOWaggyWaggyWOOF!
This is not what I want to hear and yet that's where you find yourself, Andrew--wrestling with death. And I know that Scripture at a time like this can sound hollow and offer no real sense of comfort when the pain is this profound.
ReplyDeleteI think you're right about how Christ led the way for all of us through the pain He endured on the cross. But I also think about how overwrought he was in the garden that He sweat drops of blood as he prayed the night before He died. Perhaps that's how you feel--wondering how much more suffering you can endure. I will be praying for you all throughout this day. It might not relieve your pain, but at least you know that friends are thinking of you, praying for you and that God is sitting with you in your pain.
Beth, thank you for this. It isn't where I wanted to be, either...but I am more and more convinced that I am exactly where I am supposed to be.
DeleteI do wonder how much more I can take. But the world is round so that we can't see too far along the roads we travel.
Thank you so much for the prayers!
Praying for you, brother! There is another red road bathed in miracles... (The Red Sea Road) and because of how I am wired --you know I am praying you walk that one first... but on both of them, He goes with you. Praying for peace, for comfort (somehow) and for healing!
ReplyDeleteKarrilee, I LOVE this, the other Red Road! Thank you so much for this glimpse of hope.
DeleteAnd thank you so much for your prayers. Appreciated, and needed.
Beautiful. The breaking down of our heart means the rebuilding by Christ's heart - the red road home. Thank you for these powerful words. I just said a prayer for your heart, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteCarol, thank you so much...your words truly mean the world to me, as do your prayers.
DeletePraying for you, Andrew. Thank you for shining the light of Christ even through your own pain and suffering. May God make his presence known to you in a tangible way. Love and hugs, dear brother.
ReplyDeleteGayl, thank you for the prayers...and yes, I do feel God's presence. He weeps with me, but both He and I know that I am where I am meant to be.
DeleteLove and hugs back!
I'm sorry your have to endure so much suffering. Thank you for sharing so honestly. Praying for you today.
ReplyDeleteRachel, thank you. Prayers coming back at you! :)
DeletePsalm 9:11 "Sing praises to the Lord."
ReplyDelete9-1-1, in case of emergency.
We will sing the praises of what God has worked in your heart and in your marriage dear Andrew!
We will sing when you can't.
But I see such hope and joy in the offering you have put forth each time.
You are bursting open with the glory of God.
I am sorry that your pain is so intense now.
Thank you for being here, however briefly. We are encouraged by your perseverance.
I will sing you John Denver. Start humming "Country Road." Ha! Now it's stuck in your head!
Be blessed, Andrew! Your life continues to have worth and meaning.
Love,
Tammy
Tammy, yeah, you got 'Country Road' stuck in my head. But I do like the song!
DeleteI so appreciate the warmth and affection in your worlds...and the 911 Psalm is just perfect. Never stop singin' them praises.
Love back, from all of us.
I'm sorry things are so tough. Praying for strength and encouragement!
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Lesley The prayers are much appreciated, and they are needed. Scary days.
DeleteAndrew, powerful. Your words point us to Jesus, even in the midst of your pain. I'm praying God's presence soothes you in the hardest of hours. You are such a powerful testimony and inspiration for walking life—in all its aspects—well. The mistakes and the victories. Thank you, friend.
ReplyDeleteJeanne, you do me such great honour with these grace-filled words...thank you. I do feel God's presence.
DeleteAnd thank you so much for the prayers!
Pain is never easy. I can't imagine or empathize, but we are glad when you are here.
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, Red. I'm awfully glad to still BE here, even with the pain.
DeleteAndrew, I don't know what to say anymore. I know it is especially difficult right now. I'm so glad you have strength even in your weakness. I wish you could get well and then write a book about what God taught you through these many years of suffering. I bet it would be rich. May the Lord bless you and keep you, may His face shine upon you.
ReplyDeleteNorma, you said all the right words, and have given much comfort on a hard, hard evening. Thank you for this!
DeleteThe idea of a book on what God has taught is a great one. I have learned a lot, and I think others could learn from me, from all the false trails I followed. I hope it can happen.
Thank you so much for being here!
Hugs and prayers, my friend! I've been quiet lately...busy and quiet; but have browsed your last few posts and have been thinking of you and Barb. My heart breaks...and I have no words! Just letting you know I am here and thinking about you both and sending hugs and prayers.
ReplyDeleteBarbara, it's so nuce to see you here! I really appreciate your kind thoughts, and most especially the hugs and prayers. They are really needed these days.
DeleteI appreciate your honesty and transparency. You teach me over and over how to live with dignity and grace. I am praying for peace Andrew!
ReplyDeleteMary, your grace-filled comment means the world to me - thank you so much! And I really appreciate - and need - the prayers.
Delete