I'm not doing too well; my leg isn't really healing, and a couple of abscessed teeth are adding to the pain of a failing pancreas. This isn't much fun. So, I'm writing ahead of time in case I can't get into the FMF timeframe. I'll try to work in this week's word when it's revealed.
(It's SLOW. Perfect.)
I can't do much these day. The physical act of writing hurts, and it's all I can do to remain active on my blog, and connect in the blogosphere. Being able to concentrate on a book or DVD is compromised by pain, and as for doing anything physical, it's just not possible.
Plenty of time to think, as life's gotten slow.
And I've been thinking about forgiveness.
I have things for which I need to be forgiven, and there are things I must forgive.
Like, the people who raised me as a child. They were abusive in ways I would prefer not to describe. For decades, I hated them. I hoped that they would rot in hell for all eternity, violated without respite as I was violated.
And now, I hope that in their final moments they accepted Christ, and that they are in His presence. In Heaven. Forgiven, and loved.
How do you go from hate to forgiveness?
I've heard it said that you have to forgive to lighten your own burdens. From the outside, that makes sense. But it's wrong. Dead wrong.
Because if you forgive for your own sake, you're falling into the trap of loving those who love you...except in this case, you're just loving yourself. Forgiveness becomes a self-help strategy.
That put aside, do you forgive for the sake of the forgiven? Not really, because that is kind of meaningless. The only one who can truly forgive is the Almighty. My words and thoughts, however sincere, mean very little. (And maybe the miscreants don't want forgiveness from me.)
So where do you go with forgiveness? What's the point?
Simple, really, It's the price of admission.
If you want to go from LA to Honolulu, you've got to cross a couple thousand miles of ocean. There's no other way. If you want the palm trees and the hula girls and the frangipani, there's a lot of water between you and them.
You've got to cross it, by 747 or DC-3 or outrigger canoe. Maybe it'll be easy, maybe it'll be uncomfortable (DC-3s are LOUD), and maybe it'll be dangerous.
Same thing with forgiveness. If you want eternal life, if you want to be able to share Heaven with Jesus and God and all the harp-playing dudes and chicks, you've got to forgive.
Completely.
Because if you take a splinter of unforgiveness into Heaven, it'll tear you up over time, and eternity is a long time.
It's not easy, it's not fun, and as a one-shot deal, it's not possible.
So it's a journey. A trip. Maybe a bad trip.
We have to forgive our enemies every day. The grace we offered yesterday is yesterday's news.
Today, it begins again.
And my five minutes are up.
When you can't forgive, you're stuck in a moment and can't get out of it...Bono and The Edge said this better and more melodiously than I ever could.
A bit of news..."Blessed Are The Pure Of Heart" has come home! Tate Publishing has gone south, and I regained the rights, so it'll soon be available in both Kindle hardcopy versions once again. In the meantime, if you absolutely can't wait (!), you can still get used copies from Amazon.
I have another blog, "Starting The Day With Grace". The focus is a grace quote from someone you might not expect (like, say Mick Jagger) and a short commentary. I hope you'll join me.
Marley update... been moved to a sanctuary, and Bay County will revise their 'dangerous dog' codes.
WE MADE A DIFFERENCE!
And marley has a Facebook page! Please drop by to see how happy he is today.
If you can, please do leave a comment. I am trying to answer all, and I am failing, but please know this - I read and treasure each one.
Below are my recent releases on Kindle -please excuse their presence in the body of the blog. I haven't the energy to get them up as 'buttons' in the sidebar. You can click on the covers to go to the Amazon links.
Andrew, such a great post. It's truly God who changes a heart from hating someone to hoping they accepted Christ before meeting Him face to face. That's God right there.
ReplyDeleteAnd I'm with you. Forgiveness isn't a one-time deal. It's a moment by moment choosing to forgive. When another memories rises up, when a scent, a song, or something else brings to mind the hurt . . . we must choose to hand it over to the only One who can heal and enable us to forgive. Some things take a life time of forgiving.
We forgive because God asks/tells us to. He's forgiven us of far greater things than we have ever had to forgive. Even though some of those things are beyond terrible. Thankfully, when the forgiving is too hard in our own strength, He gives us the grace to forgive again. And again.
I'm continuing to pray for you, friend.
jeanne, thank you...and you're so right, that the things for which God has forgiven us are far more grave than the things that we generally need to forgive.
DeleteAnd He is the only One who can give us the power to forgive, and to reinforce that forgiveness daily.
Thank you so much for the prayers!
Forgiveness can be a long trip, but as long as you take the trip, then it's a good trip to take.
ReplyDeleteHugs,
Melinda
(visiting from FMF)
Absolutely, Melinda...well said. Thanks so much for being here!
DeleteForgiveness is hard, but a necessary and good trip that's worth it. As I read I thought of the text from Sunday where Jesus tells us to "Love our enemies and pray for those who persecute us!" It makes me think about how all of this is connected. Glad you're still here brother but wish I could take away the pain. I'm in the 6 spot this week.
ReplyDeleteTara, that Scripture is probably the hardest pne in the Bible to follow. It goes against all that feels natural...and it's supposed to, because we're to be drawn into the supernatural.
DeleteI'm glad to be here, too. The pain's a worthwhile price of admission, if it comes down to that.
Loved this post, Andrew! I think when you go from hate to forgiveness maybe you go from a sinful human to a forgiving Father-putting on the very essence of Christ. I've done my far share of both hating and forgiving and I think the most joy for us is when we forgive as He has forgiven us. It's so hard to do, I know. Blessings and healing!
ReplyDeleteBonnie, you said this so well! Going from a sinful human to a forgiving Father-putting on the very essence of Christ...that's so gracefully worded, and so full of grace! Thank you for bringing this to the conversation.
DeleteThis is a great post, Andrew. I agree that while forgiveness benefits us it shouldn't be seen as just a self-help strategy. It goes so much against the culture around us that it is a powerful expression of God's love and it's only possible in his strength because he has forgiven us.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Lesley. And you're so right that culture really encourages unforgiveness, and that to forgive is really seen as to be weak...by everyone, it seems, except God.
DeleteThanks so much for being here!
Challenging post. Thank you for sharing these tender thoughts.
ReplyDeleteThanks so much, Rachel, and thank you for being here!
DeleteHow do you go from hate to forgiveness? That's such a hard shift for me.... It's easier to hold on, to stereotype, to not allow others the grace we have been given. Thanks for this, Andrew!
ReplyDeleteAnnie, you've nailed it...it really boils down to stereotyping. Thank you so much for adding this!
DeleteThis is beautiful, Andrew! I would add that I forgive because my best friend asks me to (and he has graciously forgiven me--how can I be so churlish to refuse forgiveness to others?). But crossing that ocean of feelings can take a long time, for sure!
ReplyDeleteAnita, I love the way you put this, that your Best Friend has asked you to forgive...and since He's forgiven you, it would be churlish to withhold. (And I've always liked the word 'churlish'!)
DeleteI'm so glad you're here!
I appreciate your thoughts here. I think forgiveness often is slow, and needs to be. I also agree that it's not just something we do for us. The benefits to us are a byproduct, but I think we forgive because God forgives us. But I don't find it easy or fast; it's something I still struggle with being able to do completely and fully.
ReplyDeleteJeannie, you're so right; forgiveness is indeed slow. It's kind of like glue; you've got to give it the time to set, and there's no speeding up the process.
DeleteThank you so much for these insights, and for being here.
Once I was going through a rough time and a pastor told me, "Sometimes you have to forgive God." WHAT??? I don't have the authority to do that! Then I learned forgiveness doesn't require authority. It's simply the choice not to seek or desire revenge or punishment.
ReplyDeleteJan, I LOVE this. There have been times when I felt the call to forgive the Almighty...it felt weird, but somehow, having endured a lot...it felt right. Does that make sense?
DeleteAnd you're so right that it doesn't require authority;merely grace.
Good thoughts...I am working through some forgiveness issues and needed to be reminded that it's a journey...it's not a one time thing! Thanks, Andrew.
ReplyDeleteAmy, thank you for this...I am so gratified that you found some meaning and value in my words! You made my day.
DeleteI'm so glad you're here!
i like your post andrew. i think the point about forgiving for our own sake is not the only reason to forgive, but a very practical reason to forgive. that baggage gets very heavy over time. our hearts get very hard and embittered if we keep carrying the load of unforgiveness around.
ReplyDeletefrankly though, forgiving is impossible and unnatural!. we forgive b/c we have been forgiven. often, the problem for the self-rightous (as illustrated by the older brother in the parable of the prodigal son) is that we don't see ourselves as actual sinners. we might have messed up or made errors in judgement, but Jesus didn't really have a hard job to do when He died for us on the cross. we might not say it, but we often think it. without Jesus, we can't forgive. that's why we need Jesus...to live the christian life, to forgive, to have a "ticket" to heaven. He has done it all. We can rest in the work He did for us...totally completed on the cross. it was bloody and a mess. but He did it for us and our messy sin.
Martha, you're so right...Jesus did it all, and set the example. Without Him, forgiveness would be impossible, but if we truly trust Him and believe that He was giving us the straight stuff, forgiveness becomes not just necessary, but at least easier.
DeleteI'm very grateful for your presence here!
Thank you once again for sharing the wisdom you have gleaned. Blessings and peace to you!
ReplyDeleteLeigh, thank you! Blessings and peace to you as well, and I appreciate you!
DeleteForgiveness is like a scalpel. It cuts out bitterness from your heart. It's painful to forgive because you are so raw from the wounds, sometimes. And yet?
ReplyDeleteIf you allow unforgiveness to live in you, it's an infection, a disease, a parasite that breeds happily. It will consume you.
It can define you, instead of God defining you.
Whatever you think you lack, God has for you. He IS and was, and is to come. "I am poor, but God IS rich. I am weak, HE IS strong."
We are the lack, He is the ALL.
:)
Excellence comes forth even as the pain grows.
So sorry, Andrew, that there is no way to relieve your pain.
Except maybe for bad jokes.
I can give you one of those.
Are you feeling cold tonight? Go sit in the corner.
It's always 90 degrees.
Ha ha ha ha ha!!!!
Tammy, I love this similie...'forgiveness is like a scalpel'. That's so perfectly true. And occasionally painful.
DeleteAnd this...'We are the lack. He is the ALL.' Wow, tammy!
Now I shall go sit in the corner to warm up...
Love from everyone here!
My best writing always comes out in commenting on the FMF posts of friends. :)
DeleteWe should call it "friend making Friday" instead.
Thanks for making me a better writer.
Glad there's a warm place for you in your house.
-Tammy
Tammy, you're an awesome writer...and yes, 'friend making Friday' is a great thought!
DeleteAnd thank YOU for making me a better person.
Andrew I love your thoughts on this. Forgiving for ourselves is self-help.Wow. Jesus did nothing for his own benefit. I agree that Jesus is the only one who knows how to co!Pletely forgive many one. So forgiving every day, or at least every time the issue comes up, yeah, it's hard, but necessary or you go without. The manna went moldy if not eaten fresh daily. And it is slow. So much process to go through but slowing down makes you think clearer, listen closer and see more. I'm at the beginning of realizing it. I got a slow start this week. #87 on FMF. Hope you look in.
ReplyDeleteMary, I absolutely LOVE your comparison to the manna! It's perfect; like it, our forgiveness indeed has to be renewed every day.
DeleteThanks so much for bringing this today!
I'm so glad you wrote this. Forgiveness is a necessary trip—even if the trip is long and hard. Heaven doesn't have a place for those unforgiveness splinters. Oh, for the grace to see the splinters and the courage to take the journey.
ReplyDeleteBlessings,
Cheryl
Cheryl, thank you so much for this. I'm so grateful for your presence here.
DeleteYes yes yes! This was powerful, Andrew! Forgiveness is not for us, nor for them; it's the price of admission. Wow. As I was reading, that troublesome verse came to mind, "If you don't forgive from your heart, neither will my father forgive you." I've always disliked that verse (Not fair! Not fair!), but your post has brought new clarity.
ReplyDeleteThank you Andrew! Praying for all of you 🙏🏼
Shauna, thank you so much for this...it took me a LONG time to come 'round to the thought that forgiveness has to come from the heart, and especially that it has to be restated eavery day...including the really BAD days.
DeleteThanks so much for the prayers...we truly appreciate them!
Andrew, what an interesting take on forgiveness. When I think of it I think of the story Jesus told in Matt. 18 about the king who forgave the slave who in turn wouldn't forgive a fellow slave. It seems that if we grasp what Jesus did for us we are compelled to pass it on. When we don't understand what we've been forgiven or feel we have to earn it, then we have a hard time even wanting to forgive others. I see forgiveness as cleaning a wound. The deeper the wound the more often you have to clean it. We keep the wound clean by forgiving and God heals the wound in His time. I think you've just given witness to God's grace in your life that you would want to forgive someone who hurt you so deeply. May the Lord comfort you as only He can in this place you are.
ReplyDeleteDebbie, thank you for this wonderful and profound comment. You're absolutely right that forgiveness is like cleaning a wound; I have had to do that many, many times. And a wound can only heal from within; it has to be kept open, so to speak, until the last, so that the bad stuff can drain out. It's a process, and a painful one.
DeleteI so appreciate your being here!
I read your comment on Linda Stoll's blog and had to come over and read your post. I'm happy to meet you :) Wonderful post on forgiveness. Whenever I think of forgiveness, I think of Corrie Ten Boom who had the guard who abused her come up to her after a meeting and ask for her forgiveness, and as she tried to reach out her hand, and couldn't, she bowed her head and asked the Lord to grant her the help to do it, and He did, and she was able to forgive, with the Lord's help. Through Him, we can do all things. And forgiveness is a powerful thing... I'm thankful to read of the healing work in your life that happened because of forgiveness. Happy to meet you today :)
ReplyDelete